[QUOTE=brownhairedwonder;226325]So my boyfriend and I have been having sex for over a year but he can not get me to orgasm. I know what the feel like because I masterbate regularly when he is not around. What are some tips I could give him to help me reach an orgasm?[/QUOTE]

I'm not an expert, but maybe you could tell him what you do when you masturbate and he could try to mimic that. Maybe you just need your car started before you go for a ride :P Does he like giving oral to you or fingering you? Try doing something like that to start. I know with my girlfriend, she says i work wonders with my fingers on her clitoris and inside her. That really gets her going good and makes her want it really bad. It also makes her orgasm a lot easier and faster. If i was you, I would tell him you masturbate and try to get him to give you a handjob/oral to start off. It might help.

M-A-S-T-U-R-B-A-T-E with a U, please remember it.

It is NOT HIS JOB to make/give you orgasms. THAT'S YOUR JOB. He merely assists. We each are responsible for our own orgasms.

Sex begins in your brain. So what's stopping you? Examine the contents of your mind first. Check your beliefs and attitudes about sex. Double check how you feel about this fellow of yours. Next, reconsider your sexual techniques.

Are you one of those women who hold your breath or pant? Do you tense up every muscle and try to orgasm? Do you get angry or start to cry when you don't orgasm? Is your brain full of anxiety "will I orgasm this time?" during sex?

All of the above will literally STOP your orgasm before it happens.

Relax both body and mind. Breathe deeply and calmly. Think of yourself as lying on an inflatable raft out at the beach just riding the swells before they break. It is hot, the sun is shinging brightly and you're just soooo relaxed. I you can induce that state of mind and body - you will orgasm. Just relax and let the feelings roll on through you.

You will find your answer in one or more articles listed in the Index. Please have a look at the the articles addressing female orgasms as well as the how-to of climaxing from hand/oral stimulation.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. If after reading the various articles, please do not hesitate to ask any additional questions or concerns.

>>>Are you one of those women who hold your breath or pant?

I AM THAT GIRL!!! I don't know why it is but i CANT moan during sex or oral or ANYTHING.. I just cant. When I try it feels Way Too Forced and i want it to be natural. I've been mastubating for years as i've said before but i've always been that way, panting, breathing deeply and i recently realized i Do hold my breath. I have a theory that maybe I do that because for as long as i've mastubated my parents or sister have been in the other room and I dont want them to hear me or know what I am doing.

I have read and been told that relaxing and letting go is a major part of achieving an orgasm. I feel like I am pretty relaxed but I dont know. I really want to orgasm but i dont "try" to..

What should I do?? :(

I'm confused. Are you saying you don't orgasm, or that it's rare/difficult, because in your other thread you mention that you can through clitoral stimulation.

BREATHE SLOWLY and RELAX - no panting.

This may sound bad to some, but the first time I ever had an orgasm with a guy was when I was high. My boyfriend and I had just finished smoking and then started fooling around. While he was on top of me I felt...this sensation that I had never felt before and I realized I was having my very first orgasm. I've had very few while sober, which sucks b/c I don't like being high.

Other than that, I can't recommend anything else.

> Other than that, I can't recommend anything else.

I can.

The articles listed in the Index were written for a purpose--to help give insight, information, and tips, to others. The answer is in there as well as countless threads.

Give up the drugs and alcohol and retrain your brain to be receptive to the correct way to respond to stimuli. The solution is not much different that what we recommend to women used to reaching a climax with a vibrator. The device produces intense stimulation that she then becomes accustomed to and when the time or desire comes to use a finger, nothing happens. The solution, retrain the brain and the autonomic nervous system. Practice using your fingers over and over by yourself until you acquire the ability to climax this way. Once you can do it regularly and consistently, take your partner's hand and guide his movements over a few sessions until he learns to mimic your movements, rhythms, and pressures. Key to this is in providing both verbal and non-verbal feedback on how you are responding and for what you need now/next.