Well last night for the first time I got hot and heavy with a girl. It was a lot of fun and I think we both enjoyed it, well I know I did. I have some problems though that I would like some advice on. I'm nineteen by the way.
1. Last night I could barely get erect and I had like horrible stage fright. We didn't have sex, we just played with each other which I like a lot more than anything else but I got embarassed through the course of the evening because I just couldn't get excitied. I never got off through almost three hours of playing and holding each other but like once she left I "took care" of myself and had one of the most powerful orgasm ever. It's usually pretty hard for me to get erections and get worked up. Hopefully there's some sort of pills I could buy without a prescription that would help with this?
2. What is the definition of "cuddling" like positioning?
3. Missionary is the most uncomfortable thing in the world I've ever done. Not really a question, but I just wanted to say that.
4. Condoms are the most difficult things in the world to f***ing operate (pun wasn't intended but I'll go with it).
I really like this girl and for my first encounter with a girl I think I did okay, I mean I've never even kissed a girl before. It was so wild and fun and to my surprise I wasn't that nervous and I got her to orgasm. I don't really like the sex part of sex though it's so boring and stupid. Does that go completely against what a guy should say? The whole experience is just a wild wonderful blur but those are the four topics I wanted to hit on and bring up here.
Thanks for reading this and maybe answering.
Also a little lube- like ky jelly- inside the condom and on your penis can help. Just make sure the lube is water-based.
You might also add a spermicidal gel or foam. Another guy on here had a pregnancy scare and he was using condoms- they're not 100%. Some spermicides are also thought to kill or at least hinder the HIV virus as well.
P.S. Don't be embarrassed to ask any question on here. That's what this site is for. No one is born knowing all this stuff and you've got to learn somewhere. At least here you've got a good chance the answers will be correct.
about the condom: you need to make sure you are rolling it down the right way, if you have it upside down it won't roll. If you have it going the right direction, you just place it on the head of your penis while it's still rolled up, and roll it down over your shaft.
as to your experiences with sex, it'll get better most likely. you just need to be optimistic. When i started, it was not much fun, and was always disappointing because i could pump for as long as i wanted, but i never came. I didn't stop though, and found what works best for me. I recommend experimenting and finding your groove. Until then just relax and enjoy the intimacy with your girl that the sex provides, and have fun with the rest of it as well. I still think cuddling with my girlfriend is as good as sex almost any day.
Thank you for the info and advice
I could never imagine having sex without a condom, and I don't think I ever will. Out of frustration last night as we were almost about to do it I threw it off but the girl was cool enough to say we aren't doing it without it. I also got a friend right now who knocked a girl up and I spent enough time over at their house to know that I don't want that. I was just making a observation about how ridiculous these things are. This is kind of embarassing but is there some kind of trick to using them because I seriously had a horrible time trying to use one last night.
Well, congratulations. Sounds like you had fun, but a few minor problems. So let's see:
1. It was your first time so it's understandable that you would have "stage fright". It's fairly normal. Time and experience should take care of this. Without knowing what went on, I can only say don't be shy about showing her how to stimulate you. From plainly stating what you like and what feels good to guiding her hand and showing her the right speed and pressure. She won't know without some help from you. Just like you need her help to know what feels good to her. No two people are the same. So each new person you are with you will have to learn what arouses them.
2. "Cuddling" is basically just holding each other. Your arm around her, her's around you, or "spooning"- lying front to back with your arms around the person in front. All of these are cuddling.
3. There are a lot of different positions- her on top, doggie-style, from behind (not anal) like "spooning", etc... Try them all and pick one or more that you like.
4. I'm delighted that you were using condoms. Practice makes it easier. If you are ever tempted not to use them, just imagine how difficult sex with a baby in the house would be. Or finding out you have an incurable STD. Or having to tell potential partners you have an incurable STD. Please, keep using them.
"What a guy should say" is subjective. If it's how you feel, then it's fine. Try the different positions and maybe garner a few tips from this site. Then go and keep playing safe and have fun.