Okay me and my girlfriend have been together for about 8 months now. Recently we have been extrememly sexually active.
However theres some things she does and I don't know if they are normal or not.
Okay first off, I start 'initiating' sex, e.g. kissing her and getting her in the mood, and when I feel she is ready, she says 'no'. But if I carry on then she makes me carry on. I know she wants it, yet she keeps on saying no, and when I ask her why she doesn't know.
Second off, she refuses to let herself go to her orgasm, she screams and says she is too close, she shakes continuously (is this normal), but she doesn't seem to want to embrace the orgasm she more wants to get rid of it, When I ask her why she does it, she says she doesn't want to lose complete control. Is this normal?
Thirdly (last one), she doesn't seem to like to do things back to me, I think she might be penis shy, I do things to her all the time, I don't mind, but when I ask her to give me a hand job or something she wont want to do it. She also wont go down on me, and I don't know why. I know she has never done anything like Hand Jobs or Fellatio before, so would it just be fear of messing up?
Thanks.
How old are you two? She's not 'penis shy' - she has issues with sex itself. Talk, talk, talk - and find out what is up. What is her history, for example. Waht is her and her family's attitude toward sex?
Yeah evilkitten hit this on the head bro.
She has some issues and you have a strong sex drive.
those things conflict, she wants to ignore her issues (whatever they may be) and try to satisfy you and yet she cant.
Turn the sex drive off. dont ask her questions or press the issue just try to be there for her and let her grow comfortable enough to speak with you on these things.
Stop giving her sexual pleasure, if shes not asking for it dont just assume its what she wants.
I only say this based on the potentially deep issues that may be beneath the surface.
So if i was you i would just let off this issue for a week or two see if she comes around and opens up to you. Let her initiate what shes comfortable with and when things get awkward just stop what your doing and resist the urge to play detective and just wait for her to feel comfortable enough to open up.
If you care for her and she cares for you just be a little bit patient and things will naturally open up and get better.
Well we are both 18.
We are both first timers, never done anything like this with anyone else. When I ask her if she does want it she says yes, but its as though she's teasing me as she then says no/stop, but when I carry on, she won't let me stop because she's enjoying it.
Her family don't think too highly of her being in a relationship (don't want her to grow up) but it doesn't seem to phase her at other times in the relationship, so why just before sex.
And is the shaking during an orgasm normal?
I have a variety of female sexual partners and i have encountered a few unique women who do odd things.
but shaking was never one of them.
I would suggest letting her be the one who says "i want to have sex" instead of you asking her.
your both young and in your first sexual relationship it an odd place, since shes scared to touch or suck your dick her logic may just be shes gotta give you something to keep you interested.
you just gotta try to be very observant of what shes ready for and not what she says she wants.
Women are very emotional creatures, what they say is not always what they really feel, she may be speaking to you with her actions and reactions and not just her words. confusing yes just pay attention and follow your instincts and not your erection.
Thanks. I'm seeing her tonight so I will just ask talk to her.
Its not that i'm following my erection, I do talk to her, but it appears as though she has no problem until it gets to the actual doing it.
I'm going to leave it all up to her tonight though, If she wants to do something then I will let her start it, even if its just a simple kiss and see how it does
Some women are 'emotional' and some are not. Some women do shake during orgasm and some do not.
But this one, meaning his girlfriend, is brand new to this so more care might be needed. So talk and cuddle and let her do the initiating.