Girls are generally let off easy when it comes to sex. They tend to think of it as something that is done to them as opposed to with them so they generally do NOT reciprocate. TALK TO HER ABOUT THIS and stop letting her get away with just "taking".

> o and how would i go about telling her without being mean?

Sit and have a pleasant friendly discussion at a time when you are not planning to get it on. Explain that you enjoy being with her, that you like making out with her, yet wonder if she enjoys the attention as much as you. If she says she does then ask why she does not reciprocate because you would like to feel as good and as loved as you try to make her feel. In addition to what EEK has stated, it might also be that she simply does not know what to do and is embarrassed to try. If this is the case, then ask if she would like you to coach her.

> someone told me that if i stop doing it to her an maybe tease in the area but dont do anything she will get the hint and do it to u.

Do you know what a "cock teaser" is? Doing this is the reverse and I sure would not recommend this strategy one bit.

> what is the cock teaser? my gf touchs and rubs my dick on the our side of my pants getting me really horny and then nothing happens after that. It sucks. She knows what to do she has experiance.

If it is her intent to peak your arousal and then to leave you hanging on purpose then this is teasing. Many a teen has dropped his date off, returned home and masturbated or taken a cold shower in order to prevent a good case of "Blue Balls".

If your girlfriend is lovingly playing with your penis and other pieces-parts yet stopping short of a climax because:
a) you have yet to reach the level of intimacy in which you expose your penis while dressed, or, (partially) undress
b) you do not want to ejaculate inside your underware
c) you run out of time
d) the location is not conducive for more boldness

...then I would not consider these situations or her actions to be teasing and purposefully designed to be unpleasant. "Cock Teasing" traditionally is a term applied to a girl whose primary intent is to get a guy all aroused, expecting more, and intentionally leaving him hanging in a high state of arousal while refusing to continue on to an orgasm.

> ok so my next ? is that she loves my fingering so if i stop doing it to her or any sexual favors at all would she want it more? b/c most of the time i need to do things to her to get something in return. But agian she loves fooling around and if i stop any sexual things will she want it more?

There are many variables to consider that only she can provide answers to.

Age and experience are two. Maturity and being comfortable with each level of intimacy two more. Moral and religious teachings, two more. If she has few experiences of an intimate nature to draw upon, gaining them will often take time to acquire. That she loves your fingering is a very good response!

How much time are you devoting to fooling around and making out? By this I mean Necking, Petting, and, Heavy Petting before ever going on to the fingering of Foreplay? If you are rushing past these and not devoting a minimum of half an hour to kissing, caressing, fondling, and hugging, then you are not giving her nearly enough time to get her "motor" warmed up and reving. It is important for guys to know and understand that females of the species take longer that males to become aroused and then highly aroused. It's just the way they are built.

My recommendation is for the two of you to read the many how-to articles listed in the Index

Learn the basics and the various progressive steps involved in building desire, arousal, and, sexual tension. Practice these over and over with more emphasis on pleasing each other emotionally than physically. If you do this the physical aspects will follow along and become better over time and with practice.

I can't answer whether or not her desire will increase by withholding your pleasures. The reason goes back to her build-in need for an emotional connection, first. This is not to say that sex for sex sake cannot be fun or an ache in the loins that needs instant gratification, it does mean that turning her on has more to do with the emotional connection and the pheromones than just the physical desire of having an orgasm.

Please read what Brandye has had to say about women and orgasms. She has written a great article on all this that like all the others, can found in the Index.

OK, new rule - no more orgasms for her until she gives you one. Spend enough time making out with her and not going any further and she should hopefully get the picture...

Why don't you try this...

While she's rubbing the outside of your pants, tell her to go in. Don't demand it, but say "Mmm baby that feels so good, go inside and make it harder." Or just undo your pants, I think she'll get the hint. While she is rubbing, you should say things like, "Oh babe I love that" and later on when you talk to her on the phone, tell her how much you enjoyed it and how hard she made you.

Maybe the reason she doesn't do anything back is because she doesn't really think you want it, if you ask for it, it's hot plus it shows that you do want it.

Hm.. not doing anything doesn't make me want it more. Don't get me wrong I love sex and I love to mess around, but if we're not doing anything then that's fine unless he's doing some of the following. Try rubbing her thighs, tummy, massaging her, kissing her gently, giving her slow, slightly wet kisses on her neck, and sneak a feel. Whenever you're hugging her, lightly run your fingertips over her boobs, make sure to touch her nipples, don't make it too obvious. She'll be so horny, she'll want to do something and if you're not doing anything to her, she's sure to start on you.

No, she won't want it more - she'll just go and find it elsewhere. Plenty of guys out there! Talk, buddy, talk!

Forget about this girl, buddy - she's HOPELESS! Drop her and find a woman that's sexually aware.

Umm.. she's weird! What an awful sex partner!!

She's not very different from most youngsters. She has been taught that sex = dirty and women who enjoy sex MUST be whores. How many times have you been told "she's a skank" or "she's a slut" about someone by someone? Well, your girlfriend took all of that to heart. She thinks you will not respect her as a person if she accepts and then unleashes her sexuality.

If you have the patience for it, you can convince her otherwise but that means talking and NOT pushing her.

[quote=PistolSmoke;212053]she had sex with her ex alot and she thinks its too soon to do anyhting else but a hand job. we dated for 3 months now. The thing is lots of guys broke up with her cuz she wasnt ready for sex yet and they always pushed it. She only had sex with one guy and that was her ex cuase they dated a long time. Im upset that most of my freinds are making fun of me that i give too much and she dont and they all brag that they get blow jobs and sex all the time and they didnt have to "wait". I personally will wait but it sucks that i never got a bj before and i do so much for her.[/quote]I think we went around about this nearing Valentine's day...if she wants to be sexual fine, if not let her have none herself. As far as your friends, this should not be a discussion you have w/them--perhaps her reluctance to do anything. The more you want it, the less you will get.

You and your buddies need to grow up.

It's not right for you to be talking about what you're getting and not getting, anyways. You should keep your mouth shut!! No wonder she would feel like that, maybe she knows what you've been saying. Things get around so fast in highschool. What you two do is your business, not the business of your friends!! How do you expect her to feel more comfortable when you're going around saying what you to do sexually, intimately, PRIVATELY! If she wanted everyone to know, she would invite everyone over to watch!!

Please be more sympathetic to her feelings. Stop going around telling people your business. If your friends ask, be a man and say that's between her and I.

Pistol and that's the difference between being a kid and being an adult. You and your buddies are still kids esp if they're bragging about how much or how little sex they're getting. Learn to NOT talk about your business.

I was not criticizing you. Look from my point of view the guy and the girl should always keep their mouths shut!

It is a very small world!

I used to date out of my school, even out of my freakin city, and still things got around!! You'd be surprised how easily rumors spread.

Talking to others proves that your girlfriend and you do not know how to communicate. The way I see it, I should tell HIM what I'm feeling... not my friends. First off, it's none of their business. Second, he/she has a right to know.

You should not worry about having something to brag to your friends about!!!

Point is.. stop spreading your business, it'll end up biting you in the a**.

Did you try doing what I suggested earlier? Just turn her on?
Talk to her, make her feel like she's not a whore. NEVER EVER ask.. "Well you did it with your last boyfriend, why can't you do it with me?" That is not a good reason to do anything with you!!! Reassure her that what you two do, is between the two of you AND MEAN IT!

Pistol: I hang around college campuses frequently...locker room talk went out years ago.

Around Valentine Day...you posted "how do I get some" now that's a derogatory comment about the one you supposedly love--should have said how do I get to make love to my sweetheart which I love.

Stop acting like a dog chasing a bone and begin acting like a caring loving man. Stop pushing her; do that to me? Your history--I will hold out since I find this annoying behavior in a man. Who cares what she did in the past since it's not your concern; try some empathy.

Sounds like you prefer to brag to your friends vs. making her feel special. Now, as a College Freshman, from your writing, I thought you were about 14.

Never discuss sex with anyone other then with the current partner, this does not include past relationships either, or stay on a board & chat about sex. Want to do something?

Now, work on learning to write proper English; if you feel criticized then you are not listening. Ask a question you get responses--if you feel your always criticized perhaps look at your presentation and constant questions--the answer has not changed. Maybe take that to heart and look at the way you talk about her.

You can reject all information and lash out or take it to heart and become more sensitive. Your choice.

[QUOTE=sera300;212079]Pistol: I hang around college campuses frequently...locker room talk went out years ago.

Around Valentine Day...you posted "how do I get some" now that's a derogatory comment about the one you supposedly love--should have said how do I get to make love to my sweetheart which I love.

Stop acting like a dog chasing a bone and begin acting like a caring loving man. Stop pushing her; do that to me? Your history--I will hold out since I find this annoying behavior in a man. Who cares what she did in the past since it's not your concern; try some empathy.

Sounds like you prefer to brag to your friends vs. making her feel special. Now, as a College Freshman, from your writing, I thought you were about 14.

Never discuss sex with anyone other then with the current partner, this does not include past relationships either, or stay on a board & chat about sex. Want to do something?

Now, work on learning to write proper English; if you feel criticized then you are not listening. Ask a question you get responses--if you feel your always criticized perhaps look at your presentation and constant questions--the answer has not changed. Maybe take that to heart and look at the way you talk about her.

You can reject all information and lash out or take it to heart and become more sensitive. Your choice.[/QUOTE]

Exactly what I was thinking.. you put it so well!

[QUOTE=PistolSmoke;212267]ok so i tryed the dirty talk thing were i told my gf to go in and make it harder, once i said that during fingering her she said dont tell me what to do? that killed the mood for me. So i guess that didnt work[/QUOTE]

Go in where? lol
In your pants? to make your penis harder? That maybe did come off a little strong. It's one thing to tell them to alter the way they are doing something already....like pump faster...grip harder...but if she's just laying there and you tell her to touch your penis...then that's a little different. Maybe take her hand and guide her through it??? When I was just starting out... I was nervous and hesitant to do anything only b/c I thought I'd do it TOTALLY wrong... or hurt something LOL.

I think you just need to find a girl that just wants a good time! lol Nothing too involved.

HAHA! Sorry well in my case that completely turns me on! So.. thought it might work. You might have said it demanding though.. something about the tone of voice and moaning..idk!!

The odor stuff.. there's a lot of threads about that

Oh hey did you try turning her on first, to see if you would initiate it?

No.. like don't finger her!! Like teasing.. barely touching her and stuff.. come on I gave you like a whole list.

Pistol - just go find a domme who is willing to teach you what you need to know.