This is one of the most repeated concerns I reply to.

Here's the deal:
First, we do not give orgasms away. Each of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve his/her own.**

Second, In order to do this we must learn to mimic each other's specific motions, rhythms, and pressures that are unique and specific to each one of us. Consider that from the moment we first learn to masturbate every boy and girl quickly develops a routine that we rely upon to bring us to the brink of an orgasm and beyond. If we miss the mark, either an orgasm will not happen or it will be less than anticipated.

Third, demonstrate for each other how you masturbate and then guide each other's hand several times in order to learn how to mimic each other's technique.

> Fourth, I've done a number of fun things with her... I have never made her orgasm.

**Asked and answered.

> Fifth, what is bothering me is that when we have sex either I finish and she does not or neither of us finish.

If by "sex" you mean intercourse, then you must understand that few sexual positions place our respective bodies together in ways that provide the constant and ongoing friction required to build and then trigger a woman's climax. What a knowledgeable, caring, and skilled lover will do is to reach around and finger his partner's clitoris while stroking or thrusting.

Alternately, a guy can help his partner achieve orgasms before and after intercourse if it is her wish.

> Sixth, she's told me more than once that when I take too long or don't finish that it starts to hurt her after a while.

Yes! most women report that if intercourse lasts longer than about ten minutes they become bored, sore, and, tired. Please take the hint.

Are you opting to prolong intercourse for your enjoyment, or, do you have to stroke away for a long long time in order to build your arousal?

If the later, you are doing things backwards and are placing the proverbial cart before the horse. Stroking maintains a pre-existing high level of arousal and thrusting peaks it and triggers our climax. You should begin intercourse only when you have been brought nearly to the trigger point by other means, like hand and/or mouth. This is the purpose of foreplay and to a great extent, all the Necking and Petting and fooling around that should preceed as well as accompany foreplay.

Finally, please read through all this, let her do the same, and then if you have additional questions or concerns, please get back to us.

Good luck! Enjoy.