Hi. My girlfriend and I have been dating a few months and she hasn't had much sex (she even told me I was the first to bring her to orgasm). I'll be frank, she's horrible at it. I feel it would be a bit rude to tell her she's doing it wrong because she really seems like she's trying to please me. My father films and photographs "erotic art". He's actually pretty famous but thats another topic. Anyway, I was thinking if maybe we watched porn together that she would get some pointer by seeing it done by professionals. Do you ladies like to watch porn with a man? And do you think this would work?
Tue, 08/22/2006 - 08:22
#1
porn and your girl
Practice makes perfect.
The only way to help is to tell her the things she does that you especially like, and the things that you'd love her to try. Conversely you then should also be willing to do things she especially likes, to help pleasure her.
Me personally, I learned a lot from porn and by reading things off the net. It's one thing to read it however and then another to see it in action.
I had never done anything before him and apparently, the porn has paid off. I still think he has doubts to this day that I had never given a blowjob to someone before him because the first time I did it, he was very pleased and really liked it. He now says I'm really really good at it and I've only ever given one to him and well, watched porn and read some techniques.
And I wouldn't say we watch porn together, but it is in the tv when we're doing stuff.
However, that being said, I wouldn't base everything off porn. People fake lots of things in porn and do lots of things normal couples wouldn't do
You can try the porn route, but she may not like it. Just suggest the idea of watching it together before you suggest her try to learn some things from it.
Just remember that communication is the key. She won't know whether she's good (or bad) at something unless you tell her.
> Just remember that communication is the key. She won't know whether she's good (or bad) at something unless you tell her.
I completely agree. You need to give each other feedback (verbal or non-verbal) on how you are responding to each other's caresses and for what you may need--now.
Also, when it comes to stroking a penis or fingering a clitoris, it is best to show each other how you masturbate and then for each of you in turn to take your partner's hand and to guide his/her movements over a few sessions until each of you learns to mimic the movements, rhythms, and pressures, that are unique and specific to each of you.
OK, I just took a break from the board & wrote in my re-introduction that I wasn't going to post ... but since no one has said this I feel I must:
Women are very different & in the past the kind of feedback provided here has not reflected that of the overall "norm" -- lots of women do NOT enjoy porn, are totally turned off by it or even frightened by it. Some women enjoy it while for others it triggers harmfully painful psychological & physiological experiences from past abuse.
Before you present the idea of porn, it's best to ask HER oppinion 1st & in bed, I totally agree with everyone else that what matters most is your communication WITH her, not based on recorded people acting a scene for the sake of "educating" her -- not only is this solution totally lacking in tact it's motive is extremely invalidating & likely to turn her off when what you want is to turn her on....
Would you want her to tell you that you're not good in bed & you need to learn a few things from some bozo you've never met before? Or would you want her to show you how she likes it? As I tell my 4 year old when she pitches a fit: use your words. COMMUNICATE