Let me make this perfectly clear: You are a virgin and she should know this. Lying to her is bad for three reasons. R#1- It places the relationship on both a shaky foundation and not an honest one. R#2- She would love to learn and explore with you. Please read the Sticky post that discusses differences in experience levels. You'll find it listed in the Index. R#3- If I haven't convinced you so far, this one won't either.

As per your example- experienced or not, changing positions one or two times depends upon what is happening with the stroking, what the two of you want, and there is no one correct answer. I'd say most people stick to one position and occasionally do two.

Read the other posts listed in the Index. There is a whole series of posts that will explain the world of Eros to you. Somewhere in the time you wrote 13 posts, you should have read the Posting Guidelines, the Index, and the site's rules. If you go to the Home page you will find illustrated and animated sexual positions.

As for what to do, after reading the how-to articles, just do what comes naturally, do not rush, spend no less than half an hour making out and do not rush to the Foreplay part without having done a lot of necking and petting, first!

Why would you lie about being a virgin? If it makes a difference to someone it's is probably better not to have sex with that person. Some people actually do not want the responsibility of initiating a virgin.
I second Doc's suggestions here.

Er, as to the noises women make in real sex as compared to porn---maybe it depends on the porn. Screamers, moaners, grunters, howlers, yowlers, whiners, whisperers and sopranos:p are all sexier and more exciting and amazing in real life compared to anything in a porn movie.

Oh darn! I feel my penis shriveling just thinking of porn flicks!

> The only thing I truly know about sex is through porn. What is actually different, because I suspect a lot.

There customarily is little to no making out in the "plot".
The latest trend in videos is to show lots of manual and/or oral stimulation and even some stroking yet no climaxing either directly or by implication.

Lots and lots of time employing many different camera angles are devoted to stroking and thrusting seemingly without end.

Men rarely if ever pleasure their female partners. (Porn is all about the guys, right?)

> Is it really going to be extremely obvious that I'm a virgin?

Most likely, yes. **
1. Are you familiar with the "real estate", meaning a woman's body and especially her genital area?
2. Do you know where things are and can you find them without seeming to fumble?
3. Do you know when in the scheme of things to get into position?
4. When in the overall scheme of things do you or she roll on a condom? Have you practiced?
5. Depending upon the sexual position chosen, have you figured out how to go about insertion;
that is locating V, placing P next to V, and then how to actually go about inserting P into V?
6. Do you know how to stroke? Have you practiced by yourself? If not then it will no doubt be
obvious you are hesitant and uncertain. What is the difference between stroking and thrusting?
7. While stroking away, do you know what to do to help ensure she has an orgasm?
8. What are two things you can do to remedy the situation if she is dry?
9. Does it matter who has an orgasm first?
10. Do you feel comfortable fondling and caressing one or both breasts?
11. Do you know when best to involve a nipple or which one is better and how to determine this?
12. Can you list four techniques for stimulating the breasts, nipples, and areolas?
13. How do you determine if stimulating a breast is desirable or beneficial close to an orgasm?
14. How do you know if a woman has had an orgasm? Is her orgasm a requirement?
15. What do you do if you need lubricant and do not have any?
16. What method of contraception is she using. If she is using a diaphragm, do you know how
to apply the spermicide? Insert it for her in case she asks? If she does and you do not, then what, lie?
17. How soon after starting to caress each other should intercourse begin? How long should
stroking and thrusting last?

> I also have another semi-unrelated question. When wearing a condom, I know I am supposed to pull out immediately after orgasm. But for me, orgasms last like even up to 30 seconds. Should I pull out AS SOON as the orgasm starts, or is it ok to keep thrusting until it's completely finished, and then pull out?

Where did you learn about removing P from V immediately after ejaculating?

One thing a knowledgeable lover understands is that women enjoy having their man remain inside for several moments. It completes the connection between them. Staying inside, cuddling, caressing, continues the lovemaking. To immediately pull out after sends the message of "wham, bam, thank ya M'am" that is pretty abrupt and uncaring. If you do care about this person, even a little, you will continue lovemaking. If not, then I suppose you can pull out, get dressed, and go about your business. As for continuing the action during the orgasm/ejaculation, that is up to you. You can or not, or, do a pelvic thrust holding the tension which can sometimes increase your pleasure.

Why would you want to remove your penis immediately? If you think the condom is going to loose effectiveness then this is faulty logic. On the other hand, if on the remote chance the condom has failed, it is already too late.

As for #6, if you would like to practice stroking, I recommend making a pseudo vagina. Get a small ZipLock plastic baggy, cut a slit along the bottom of one side sufficient to insert your penis. Before inserting P into P-V, spread some lubricant inside the bottom portion of the bag and all over your penis. Insert, wrap the bag around your penis, take a hand towel and fold it up and wrap it around the bag for added bulk to simulate the woman's anatomy. Position yourself on the bed assuming the Missionary position and place the Pseudo-Vagina between two pillows at an appropriate angle and then begin stroking and thrusting.

You will find that this contrivance simulates the real thing very realistically.

> I don't mind lying. Also, I probably wouldn't be lying, but she specifically asked if i was no longer a virgin, and when I said yes, she said good she was glad

Good luck with this. **Do you think it would be obvious to someone that you had not learned to ride a bicycle after stating that you had?

Lastly, please read the helpful, informative, how-to, articles listed in the Index. They were written for a reason--YOU.

You have asked good questions. If you have additional questions or concerns, please do not hesitate to continue the discussion.

dude sex is what the two of u make of it do it as long as it feels right and good dont worry how someone else would do it ask your partner he or she would surely know what they like

Did you read his concerns in the original post? He has never done it so hasn't got a clue what to do, how, or do next, or when.

You do, however, present a valid point, of asking what the other person likes and then striving to satisfy that desire. Once he gets into the swing of things, this is something he should consider asking her, although, as he presents the situation, this is likely to be a one night stand.

It is possible for semen to leak out the bottom of the condom, which is where the notion that you should pull out fairly quickly comes from. I'm quite sure I have even read it around this site. However, staying in for a few moments won't cause unnecessary risk and will make the overall experience better for both of you.

If you have read most of the stickies, and read the basic techniques and know them well, that is about as well prepared as you can be. Beyond that, it is a matter of how confidently and smoothly you execute things and how comfortable you seem. It is quite possible you will lose your erection just before intercourse, especially when the condom goes on, and there is nothing you can do about it if that happens, just return to making out and fooling around and admit you are a little bit nervous.

Flames,

Just follow the sticky The Program and look up the involuntary signs she's having an orgasm. Some times adding more touches here and there is distracting. You will have to experiment. and stroking is for her while thrusting is for you - hence the difference.

I guess you just want to do it so you don't have to worry. It is too bad you can't be open with your first time person though because a first time is probably not going to be pretty for you, no matter how much you plan in your head.

If this girl was hoping you weren't a virgin, she most likely has experience.. So maybe she'll lead the way without you needing too. Depends on what she is looking for.

This doesn't mean I don't agree with the popular opinion, that you should tell her.. Because really- you should. But I understand you don't want to risk losing your opportunity for your first time. Maybe it would be best to tell her like, during or after.. Just so she knows. If it were me and I just had sex with a guy who didn't seem to know what he was doing and he told me he was a virgin at that point- I think it would be a huge turn on and make me want to experiment and try out new things together. If you lie and say you are experienced and don't tell her the difference at all she is probably just going to think you aren't good... So be honest- you can wait til you are both so into it that you KNOW its going to happen either way.

And of course, make sure you're being SAFE!

have fun ;)

OMG - people! Think! It is UNNECESSARY for him/her to tell anyone "its my first time" - simply because it is SELF-EVIDENT.

How adept were you during your first time? NOT. Precisely. There's no need to say anything at all. Just go with the flow, relax, slide on the condom and get on with it. Jeez! Stop making this out to be harder than it is. The more experienced partner helps the lesser experienced person along.

Just enjoy.

[QUOTE=flames068;229513]I feel like I do know the "real estate".

For Condoms: I have put one on before, its not hard. I am almost positive that I read somewhere reputable that condom effectiveness decreases SIGNIFICANTLY if you don't pull out immediately. That is why I had asked the question. So you're saying after I finish, I can leave it in there as long a I want, and the condom WONT decrease in effectiveness?

Can you explain the difference between stroking and thrusting? Also, I figured it's a good idea during intercourse to either play with the clit or the boobs (depending on position).
And how do I "ensure" she has an orgasm other than thrusting and listening to her breathing?

Is there anything I should do once (hopefully) I notice her breathing gets faster and faster? I know not to STOP what I'm doing, but should I add something like boob play or other stimulation?

And just to be clear, I've read the majority of the stickies, some of them more than once.

EDIT: Basically, I'm going to try to make this happen soon. I just want as much advice as possible on how not to look like an idiot. Like what newbie mistakes should I avoid? What do you wish you knew back then that you now know today?[/QUOTE]

You say it's probably a good idea to play with her clit or boobs... She would prefer her clit. However, don't play with it unless your finger/s are well lubricated... It HURTS if they aren't, and that's going to tell her you're a virgin. As for her boobs, that's something that differs from person to person. Personally, it's not nearly as satisfying as the clit.
To ensure she has an orgasm, PLAY WITH HER CLIT, do some oral if that works. The clitoris is the key to any woman's orgasm.
When her breathing get heavier, start increasing your speed just a bit. But be careful not to go faster than she wants.
Hope that helped!

No, joanneb, the clitoris is not the key to EVERY woman's orgasm. While the hardware may be the same, the software may not be. Sexual response to any stimuli will vary from woman to woman.

[QUOTE=dancingdoc2;229476]Let me make this perfectly clear: You are a virgin and she should know this. [/QUOTE]

If he doesn't feel comfortable telling her then he shouldn't. He's not covering up some terrible sin he just wants to go to bed with her on something of an equal footing.

Flame068 as for her being able to tell you're a virgin I wouldn't worry about it, have some confidence about you, and don't worry sex with a new partner is often a bit a jumble at first, you're in a steady relationship so you're going to have more than one attempt at this. It sounds as if you want her to enjoy the experience so Im fairly confident you'll get into the swing of it.

Oh and don't take the whole clitoris thing to the extreme and start mauling her with your fingers the thrusting from sex is usually good enough.