I wonder if women really understand men's sex drives any more than men understand womens need for romance.

It seems a lot of women are reading Gothics and other such paperbacks, while the guys are looking at the images in magazines.  Does it mean they are always masturbating?
Does it mean he or she would rather be with the fantasy
they read about or see?

I've heard a mans sex drive is possibly ten fold of a young woman's at around the age of 18, and hers may not catch up
to that until her late thirties and still not match it.

The good news is guys won't leave their girlfriends for their own hand.  As guys are with their girlfriends, lovers, etc they will loose the need for the Porn in time.

Consider buying a wig, some stockings and lingere. Buy some of those porn paperbacks and sit dressed up and read to him.
Even go outdoors in a semi public place at night and role play the story if you like.  Make your own porn...write your own stories and characters.  If you really want to live on the edge
buy a webcam and visit places like Webcamnow.com(unmoderated section) and see and be seen.

Good luck,

eDJ

I have about the same feelings as you, I dont mind it, but I feel kind of... bad when he looks at it without me. I recently got into a huge fight about it just the other day with him about it, it was so dumb... the only reason I was mad was because he told me porn doesn't get him off anymore, and I was the only thing that could get him going nowadays, and he said he hadn't looked at any since a few months after we got together, but I found a stock pile of porn on his computer, so it was the lying part that really ticked me off. Anyways, I deal by just...talking to him about it. You just gotta trust your guy. And if he ever ends up breaking your heart, always have a good burial spot picked out for 'im. Lol!

thats cool, i was just giving a possibility

[QUOTE=Quote (Jaybee @ July 22 2004,01:20)][QUOTE=Quote ]Tess, you keep mentioning porn in a non-positive way.  
But I sense, from the tone about which you talk of porn, that you if had a STRAIGHT choice, hypothetically speaking,  between your husband always watching porn with you, and him NEVER seeing another porno again in his life, that you'd elect for him never to enjoy another porno again.[/QUOTE][/QUOTE]
Jaybee I don't know how you came to you conclusion about my view on porn. I reread my post and didn't see where I was against my husband watching it. I even stated how I like that he has learned many things from watching it.

I just don't want him using my computer to view it is all.

I don't like porn for many reasons and none of them have to do with me feeling like he is going to want to go out and cheat on me or something because he likes to watch it.

Trust me dear I am not an insecure woman by any means. I also don't take offense to what you said so don't think I did. Just clearing things up is all.

i think alot of the reason someone would have a problem with porn is insecurities. like being afraid the other would stray. being afraid that they might like those women or men more than you. or they might want to have sex with them more than you. we all want to be the focal point when we are in a relationship, we all want to be cherished. we all gotta face it there are some very pretty people(both men and women) in porn and if we dont think we measure up than it makes us feel bad about ourselves. and nobody likes a source of pain. you could see him as causing your pain and in turn get mad at him or resent him. now i know that is more than the problem at hand with you but if it goes unchecked it could result in that.

[QUOTE=Quote ]My husband watches them all the time and jokingly calls them "training videos". [/QUOTE]

That is not far from the truth if the man uses them as such. I know my guy has learned many a good tip by watching porn. One reason that I don't complain that he watches them.

My husband watches them all the time and jokingly calls them "training videos". I'd rather he be watching those then straying away, u know? And sometimes while watching them, I get worked up myself.

My hubby has always watched porn. I watched it in the beginning with him alot then went for a long time refusing to watch it for my own reasons. But I never stopped him. He has a very high sex drive and uses the porn for the nights we don't have sex. Knowing he is watching it and masturbating has been the norm for us so I don't care.

Now when he watched porn on my computer and gave it a virus that was another story. He has since got his own computer and can ruin it if he wants to.

I will watch it with him for a bit when we are having one of our big sex nights. But mainly thats just to set the mood.

The only way "not to worry about it" is to figure out what worries you.

That's not as dumb as it sounds.

Most people's "worries" become insignificant when they analyze them and get them into perspective. I know a few people who are neurotic enough to worry about the fact they worry!

So it's also worth noting that sometimes a little worry is a good thing, much like stress is not necessarily bad.

It may be too pedantic, but it might be interesting to make two lists: one is all the "benefits" of watching porn with your partner. The other is the drawbacks or things to worry about.

And the conclusion is...

Wally

Don't you ever daydream about having a magnetic charisma that makes every handsome man in town or at work your sexual slave desiring to love you anyway & everyway individually or in groups? He is doing the same only he uses the porn for inspiration. Just remember that those girls cannot kiss him or suck him like you can. He can't feel their breasts or the loving grasp of a vagina on his penis as you can give him. He can't get intoxicated by the fragrance or taste of sex as he can with you. He must come to you for the best & the porn is a poor substitute but we use it to prevent you from thinking it is the only reason we need you. I think a man's desires occur more often but if you think you can keep up with him make yourself more available & take the lead & tell him you want to have more sex more often with him.

i just look at porn as a way of getting off when you just need to sometimes.
some people fantasize...some people watch porn.

i watch porn every now and then. he knows i do it. he actually amuses him that i do.
when i told him i did, he wanted to know where i got it (cause i said it was free) and i told him...so i know he looks at it to.

it doesn't bother me that he does it. i'm just like him..sometimes you just need to get off. releave a little stress in life. ya know?

you need to figure out why it bothers you..even if it's just a little bit. and once you figure that out, talk to him about it.
it is obviously some what of a big deal to you or you wouldn't be coming in here asking for advice about it.

I think it comes down to how much you trust the other person. If you worry that he is looking for someone else, then yes porn would bother you. I don't find it any different than, say, fantasizing about a movie star. I mean, what are the chances that you would ever actually get to make the fantasy a reality?

You should work out why this bothers you. And once you know, if it still seems like an issue, talk to him about it.

[QUOTE=Quote (Tessie @ June 02 2004,15:03)][QUOTE=Quote ]My husband watches them all the time and jokingly calls them "training videos".  [/QUOTE]

That is not far from the truth if the man uses them as such. I know my guy has learned many a good tip by watching porn. One reason that I don't complain that he watches them.  [/QUOTE]
Tess, you keep mentioning porn in a non-positive way.

Speaking only for myself, I would have absolutely no qualms whatsoever about my (future) girlfriend masturbating furiously over John Enos giving it to some porn starlet, with me or without me. In fact, I'd consider myself a lucky man to find a girl like that. It's her choice, and if she wants, I'll happily lend her a hand...

But I sense, from the tone about which you talk of porn, that you if had a STRAIGHT choice, hypothetically speaking, between your husband always watching porn with you, and him NEVER seeing another porno again in his life, that you'd elect for him never to enjoy another porno again.

Sorry if this sounds a tad confrontational (btw, I'm working on being less so), but I do get a strong gut feeling that, at some primal level, you don't quite trust him to forever respect the strict divide that he set himself between watching, and doing.

Jaybee