Help is on the way!

You are experiencing (and suffering from) a very common problem that affects most teens and young men up to about their mid twenties when we eventually age out of the situation. It is called "Premature Ejaculation". PE happens:
* upon initially entering the vagina (like is happening to you)
* during the initial return stroke
* anytime during the first few strokes
* during the first minute or so of penetration

Your plea for help is echoed several times a week so this being Sunday, you are getting help early on as will anybody else who happens to decide to read through the messages before writing in.

If an ejaculation happens later the first minute or so it is not actually considered Premature Ejaculation, rather, just an untimely unplanned event. Regardless, there are two fixes that work great.

Brandye recommends the Squeeze technique and I recommend a training session that the two of you can do over the course of a couple of weeks or so depending upon how often you can get together and work on it.

You can find info on the "squeeze technique" on the forum as well as doing a Google search. The nice thing about this method is that it can be used anytime a guy senses an impending climax and wants to abort it temporarily.

The exercise I regularly recommend is for the two of you to get together when you are not planning to get romantic and when you can devote a half hour to it each time. The purpose of the exercise is to train you to recognize (consciously) when you are about to climax yet can still stop it from happening; and, when you have reached the point of no return. These two benchmarks have specific sensations associated with them that you need to learn to recognize. When you can, then you can achieve control over your orgasms. Once you can recognize and identify both benchmarks, the next task is to see how close you can move the first one to the second (trigger point of your orgasm). This just takes practice as well as a conscious effort on the guy's part instead of just becoming lost in the emotion and feel good sensations and either not stopping when you know you should, or, simply not recognizing when you need to put a temporary hault on the proceedings.

The exercise requires that you both participate. The reason why you cannot master the technique by yourself is because of your internal feedback. When we masturbate we modulate our movements and make tiny midcourse corrections along the way based upon what we feel--or not. So, feedback is preventing us from ejaculating or climaxing prematurely. When we turn the job of stimulating ourselves over to our partner, we loose the ability to govern what happens through internal feedback. In order to counter this, we must give each other verbal or non-verbal feedback. Verbal cues can be a word or utterence; non-verbal feedback can be a squeeze of the hand or other gestures that we work out to convey specific meanings like how we are responding to our partner and for what we may need--now.

With respect to PE, it means that we have to learn to "wake up" from our utter state of bliss and make a conscious decision to have her stop the stimulation of our penis when we recognize that we are getting close and then convey this need to her. What's happening now is that you are in such a state of euphoria that you do not recognize the sensations associated with an approaching climax. The purpose of the exercise is to get you to make a conscious decision to wake up when you recognize that an orgasm is about to happen and to either tell her or indicate that you need her to immediately stop all movements! Her obligation at this point in time is to absolutely, positively, immediately stop because even the slightest motion of the penis will often be enough to take you past the point of no return.

In the early stages of your training, you need to stop her pretty early and way before you know an orgasm is going to happen. As you gain experience and confidence, then she should begin moving this benchmark closer to the point of your orgasm. Eventually, and with practice and awareness, you will be able to place the two pretty much side by side which intensifies your pleasure while giving you complete control over your climax.

Now, having said that, the two of you should take the exercises seriously yet recognizing that mistakes will happen and not to get upset that you have an unplanned climax. This is to be expected and will not happen as you gain experience. So, just laugh them off and try again, later.

Find some time when you know you will not be disturbed for a half hour or so and then relax in a chair or recline on a bed and let her stroke your penis. DO NOT use oral stimulation because the intensity of the stimulation will just complicate matters in the early stages.

After building his level of arousal, pausing, and then rebuilding it again a time or two, finish each exercise session by letting him enjoy a climax. Do not leave him hanging lest he acquire a good case of Blue Balls. I also understand that you may not be able to find some separate alone time exclusively for the exercise, so, if you do have to combine them when you plan to get romantic and fool around, then you can, although doing so may add needless stress and distraction thus complicating the process. So do it this way only if you have no choice.

Feel free to combine the Squeeze Technique with the exercise if you need extra help preventing an orgasm from happening. The squeeze works anytime and does not require any training other than just learning how to apply it. So, you now have two ways to gain and maintain control.

Good luck. Got questions?