Well jakal, if you have read the articles on femal orgasms, you know that over half require more than penetration. From the information included in your post, it is obviously uncomfortable to her. Maybe it is that it is painful, or it could just be some sort of stigma attached to perhaps fingering. The whole oral sex, there are females out there who just dont like it. Convincing someone to let you finger or eat them out is not the way to go. Talk to her about it. Ask her why she is willing to try new things on you, ie new hand job techniques, yet you cant do the same to her. Dont be confrontational, just be sincere. Tell her you want to show her a new side of pleasure, and that you would enjoy doing it to her.

Sounds to me like she has a personal stigma against it. Woman are taught that touching there is "naughty". Maybe she hasn't gotten past that yet.

Do you know whether she masturbates?

It sounds like she isn't ready for sexual intimacy.

You might want to stop and let her play catch up.

"your fingers don't go there" ???? Oh no, sweetheart! His fingers most definitely DO go there. Females have three areas that will induce orgasms when properly stimulated assuming she's relaxed and aroused. Orally and/or manually stimulating them is perfectly fine and "normal" and is a part of foreplay. There's nothing "kinky" about either. And you may tell her that I said so. Such silliness will only hold her back from actualizing her sexuality and enjoying it to its fullest.

Many inexperienced females have these sorts of irrational inhibitions. They are not to be encouraged.

Yup yup...my ex was like that at first...after a few weeks she slowly started accepting it.

Quick dumb question for all posters here....

Given that the matter discussed herein is not entirely uncommon (i've encountered it myself as well), how will you educate your daughters about their sexuality? Will you teach them that their privates are ok to touch and enjoy? Will you enable their sexual pleasure or try to deny it via shame (the usual course of action in society)?

I recall one of my friends saying he wanted his daughters to enjoy healthy sexual relationships. Part of this naturally lies on the males his daughter is relating to, but I think what he was really getting at was ensuring that his teaching and his wife's teachings to their daughters gave them the best shot at enjoying their sexuality. That's a different line of thinking or I am off the mark?

Anyways, back to your regular programming...

[quote=wet_suit_one;201316]Quick dumb question for all posters here....

Given that the matter discussed herein is not entirely uncommon (i've encountered it myself as well), how will you educate your daughters about their sexuality? Will you teach them that their privates are ok to touch and enjoy? Will you enable their sexual pleasure or try to deny it via shame (the usual course of action in society)?

I recall one of my friends saying he wanted his daughters to enjoy healthy sexual relationships. Part of this naturally lies on the males his daughter is relating to, but I think what he was really getting at was ensuring that his teaching and his wife's teachings to their daughters gave them the best shot at enjoying their sexuality. That's a different line of thinking or I am off the mark?

Anyways, back to your regular programming...[/quote]I have no kids and never will; however, I teach my nieces anatomy as much as possible and there are silly times where the get goofing in the tub & I have to remind them to clean all the areas included the "coochie"...they laugh. When they hold their groin in public? I ask do they need to use the toilet, if not I just say "ladies do not do that in public"....as they grow older, I will encourage all the fun "wicked Aunt stuff"...

I taught my daughter that sex was the best thing in the world - even better than 'sliced bread'. One just has to manage one's sex life like anything else in one's life. She wears her sexuality well, in a kind of "it is adult silliness" kind of way; talks about getting herself a fleet of boyfriends, just to tease her husband but with two kids under the age of 2 she just doesn't have the time. *insert melodramatic pose here* Tells me that I cannot pick up this guy or that guy because he doesn't "do polo". And she also tells me that when I'm an old lady she will NOT drive me to the grocery store to pick up old men. Bah! The ingratitude! We also 'bicker' over who's turn it is to flirt with the guys.

"Remember that you, the man, should control the sex. Women will at every opportunity attempt to take this control from you. It sounds like this may be happening in your relationship."

Untrue! The person who has the power to say "NO" holds the power in ANY human relationship. Women hold that power. Men can cajole, persuade, beg, demand - whatever, but if she says NO then that is it - game over. The best this fellow can do is further her education using non-threatening persuation, and increased exposure to different ideaologies such as having her read this website.

"Don't ask for her permission" -LOL What did you think you were doing when you 'assure her that...'? You are asking her for permission. Putting your arm around her and moving in for a kiss - is asking for permission - once again - she can say no. Just because it is non-verbal and seemingly 'in command' does not make it any less of a plea.

Maestro,

I do not know what world you were raised in but your opening statement (cited by EEK) is really inaccurate. Unless you are coming from some super-fundamentalist religious orientation of women being here to to please men, there is no basis for that statement.

Sociologically, the woman holds more control than the man. Those of us who develop a healthy sex life have learned to share but we control the act more than any man can ever realize. And it is not because we are "trying to take it," it is because nature has structured men and women the way we are. Part of the maturation of a woman is learning to use this power legitimately rather than manipulatively.

EEK is spot on.