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[QUOTE=Durrence;267571][COLOR="blue">My girlfriend (as with many other females that i have been with) enjoy having sex with me and often. Im not trying to blow my own horn and say that i am the king amungst men or that im even that good. [/COLOR]

It is always comforting to know that couples can and do enjoy each other's ability to please. I recommend that the two of you read the articles in the Index, together or separately, discuss what you have learned, and add the information to what each of you already knows. We can never know enough, and, knowledge is empowering. Thanks for asking for help.

[COLOR="blue">That being said, I have a problem with hurting my partners. The woman that i have been with all tell me I have a large penis (I personally dont think so) and because of this, we cant have sex for either too long or too often. [/COLOR]

Unfortunately, we do not have sufficient information nor is it correct to offer a diagnosis over the phone line. There can be a myriad of causes that should all be tested and looked into. A visit to her doctor may be indicated.

First and foremost, how long do the two of you fool around and make out? It is not uncommon for guys to operate under the misguided notion that the best way to an orgasm is from lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking and thrusting. WRONG.** Women are designed and constructed differently, not to mention "wired" entirely different from men. If you are not devoting a minimum of half an hour or more within reason to kissing and caressing {Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, all before getting to the Foreplay stage, then you are not doing your job correctly.)

Intercourse should begin when invited (verbally or non-verbally). Intercourse should begin only after each of you has been aroused to the brink of a climax--not before. If you do this and cannot climax within a matter of strokes then something is amiss, either with technique and/or the position chosen.

Women rarely climax directly from the actions during intercourse. Some positions do let her pieces-parts rub against her man's pubic mound sufficient to create the friction required; however, most of the time and with most positions, more is required in addition to the stroking/thrusting. This means reaching around and stimulating her clitoris by hand, also.

[COLOR="blue">I have a personal problem being that i can not climax, and the last time i did during sex was after a few hours of going at it. [/COLOR]

Are you saying that the two of you stroked and stroked for hours? This is not good. If the two of you wish to prolong intercourse, do so in stages and revert back to making out every so often in order to keep your level of arousal at or near peak. Many women report that if intercourse lasts longer than about ten minutes that they become SORE, bored, and, tired!

Please read the articles listed in the Index regarding all this, then discuss what you have learned and put it all into practice. While there are a few positions that make it difficult for a man to climax, had I to guess, it would be that you are nowhere near peak when entering and beginning to stroke. If true, your technique is all wrong. Get thee to the brink of an orgasm yet not so close that you cannot maintain control while shifting around and getting into position, then go for it. If you cannot climax within the first few strokes/thrusts, then let us know and we'll take another look at your situation.

[COLOR="blue">My current GF (as well as myself) has a very high sex drive and has the desire to do it all the time, but she cant due to the pain and is even scared sometimes when i go to penetrate her. I have tried lubes, and going slow, and different positions, but its always the same. Some days we get to go crazy, and others we dont get to do anything.[/COLOR]

Does your girlfriend normally become very wet?

Is she very moist when you attempt penetration?

Is her vaginal entrance well lubricated? What about your penis? Use a finger to distribute her mucus around the entrance--or, use some additional lubricant. The same for your penis. Place lots of lube on the Glans and shaft and then press to enter, not push or shove.

If you cannot or find it difficult to enter at times, and she is normally very very aroused and moist, then she may have a medical condition that should be looked at by a doctor. Vaginismus is one possible condition that should be investigated; although, before she does, make sure your approach to love making and your technique are all correct.
[COLOR="blue">
Once again, im not trying to blow my horn or say that im big and bad. i have a real problem, and i need help.[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Understood. your care and concern are admirable and you are to be commended. After reading the articles that discuss how to go about pleasuring each other, and checking wetness, adding lube appropriately, and trying, if nothing changes, then she should consult with her doctor.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

EDIT: Doc beat me to it!

Tell her to pay a visit to her gyn to rule out any vaginal issues.

Dear Durrence,
Just questions that popped in my mind;
Where does her pain occur?
And does she happen to have a high pain threshold?

While having sex there are so many feel-good-hormones released that you reduce in pain sensitivity. If she has a high pain threshold to begin with, it may be she only discovers after sex that she's been overdoing it.

Personally, it has been an issue for me. Great sex with explosive orgasms, but after I'd be confronted with sore and red tissue surrounding the entrance of my vagina. Making penetration painful for the next 2 days or so. While in the moment of sex, I just didn't notice how sore I was becoming. The short term solution was using the same cream you use for babies' buttocks, like Sudocreme. This really calmed the redness and swelling. The long term solution for us was that we needed to reduce the period of time for penetration from one angle. Just a bit of switching of angle can be enough. And I also became more aware of slight discomfort and acting upon it, instead of keep on going.

Yes i have the same issues as you RR ,i don't mind a little pain during sexual intercourse anyway.It tends to arouse me more when i feel pain.Like you i don't always realise i'm overdoing it till later on and i can't have sex for a few days afterwards.
My new man is so gentle and tender and we haven't had full sex yet,just fooled around like naughty teenagers.
Durrence it could be that your partner is sore because of the length of your sessions.How big would you say is too big,because most women can accomodate large penis's into their vaginas.I have had partners of all different sizes,and i just recently was given a 12" vibrator by my boyfriend to play with when he's at work.I have no problems inserting it.Try using loads of lube,and i would agree with the other suggestions that your partner get checked out to see if she has no underlying medical conditions which may be causing issues for her during sex.

Stop having sex for hours at one time! Pounding away at her will cause soreness no matter who you are, how you're endowed, and what your skill level is. Think 45 minutes on and then 15 minutes to rehydrate, rest, and tease/cuddle etc. Then do it all over again.

Sex is NOT just about vaginal penetration either and it certainlyisn't about pounding away at her. See the Four Hot Spots found elsewhere in this forum. You should be rotating through all four as often as possible and SOFTLY SOFTLY CATCHY MONKEY.

CARESS, do NOT pound. Up your game to a more intuitive and subtle kind of sex.

Always use lots of lube. Plus beaware that the pain she feels may not 'be real' but just her past experiences feeding into her expectations and her fears for this time. The above should help - change her mind.

Please give serious consideration to what has been conveyed in the last four posts, above, and answer the questions, especially regarding where she is experiencing the discomfort.

[QUOTE=Durrence;267791][COLOR="blue">Well, I read over what you said Doc, I have tried lubrication and plenty of foreplay.
[/COLOR]

How are you using the term "foreplay". When I use the term, I am referring to oral and/or hand jobs, not the all inclusive term for necking, petting, heavy petting that are stages of increasing arousal and intimacy preceding.

[COLOR="blue">The problem still persist, and even with the increased amount of foreplay and her saying (i can not confirm, because there is always the chance of lying to make me feel better about myself) she says that she is experiencing intense full body orgasms.[/COLOR]

Please do not second guess what she is telling you unless and until you have proof the information is wrong. If you do not believe what she is telling you about this, then trust in other areas of your relationship could become compromised.

In one of the articles listed in the Index is a short discussion on determining when a woman actually climaxes. For the male of the species this event is rather obvious, not so with many women much of the time. Women have the unique ability to experience and enjoy orgasms of varying intensities and centered in different areas of the body, e.g., vaginal, clitoral, G-spot, etc. Wondering if "it" has happened begs the age old question: "Did you cum, yet?" The not so obvious answer is for a woman to subtly indicate by word or "body English", yes or no.

[COLOR="blue">And our sexual experience has been, well amazing lately. However, she still feels the pain and can not have sex two days in a row, and when we do have sex, she never wants to stop. [/COLOR]

The question of where and/or when she is experiencing the discomfort needs answering. One possible source of her discomfort and presuming that she has become fully aroused is that there are remnants of her hymen that remain and are being tugged and bruised as a result of the stroking.
[COLOR="blue">
I for one and all for having long sexual bouts, but I still worry about her having the pain. I still dont orgasm during sex, but that is something that i have had to deal with for some time and it is the very least of my worries.[/COLOR]

This is OK, although, with all things moderation is good, also; so too is variety. Do not get into a rut and make love or have sex in always the same way.

As EEK stated, pounding away for a long time is not a good approach--if this is what you are doing. Extended sessions should have periodic breaks from intercourse in which you return to making out for a while.

Because you are not climaxing during intercourse, my obvious question is why not? Have you thought about what is happening or not happening and why? Here are some questions:

* When erect, where does your penis point? Does it point upward? Downward? Straight ahead? Bend upward? List left? Right? Other?
(The answer is important in order to determine whether a particular
position is not giving you the required friction because of inadequate
contact with the vaginal wall. If this is the case, try other positions.)

* When you enter her vagina, how aroused are you on a scale of 0 --10?
(The correct answer should hinge around 8.5-9., 10 being where you pass
the point of no return.)

* Are you using condoms?
+ If so, do you apply lube to the head/glans of the penis?
(Doing so permits more friction to be transferred thru the skin of the condom.)
+ If so, do you apply lube to the exterior of the condom?
(If you are using a condom, it may very well be that you cannot generate
sufficient friction. Some guys find it extremely difficult or impossible to
climax if wearing one. This is my problem btw.)
+ If so, and you believe they may be hindering your ability to trigger an
orgasm, try not wearing them in order to compare results.
(Before you do, please make sure you are using two other forms of birth
control, such a spermicide in addition to her regular method.)

* Do you have problems climaxing when masturbating?
(If not, what differences do you experience when having intercourse
with regard to friction or becoming aroused?)

[COLOR="blue">Do I need to be performing better? [/COLOR]

The general answer for all of us is "yes". Our ability to perform better comes in part from knowing all we can about both the science of human interaction as well as the methodology of doing. This is why I recommend to people all the time to read all of the articles listed in the Index, then go practice what you have learned.

Specifically, I don't know; however, here is some food for thought:

[COLOR="blue">And if I do perform better, will I be able to satisfier her quick enough that we will be able to experience sex two days in a row?[/COLOR]

First, both of you should read the articles, beginning with those in the section about how to make out in all of its stages.
Second, devote no less than half an hour to kissing and caressing in ever increasing stages of intimacy in order to build each other's arousal, excitement, and, anticipation. (Women require much more time and attention to making out than do we fellas, although, we benefit from the additional time and effort, also.)
Third, forgo intercourse for the time being and concentrate on helping her climax from what I call the "Dynamic Duo"--a combination of a hand job and fingering.

Because many sexual positions do not position a woman's pieces-parts in close constant contact with her man's pubic mound, we often must reach around and stimulate her by hand in addition to the stroking and thrusting going on. So, eliminate this potential problem, temporarily, and see how quickly she responds to orgasm by foreplay.

Proper etiquette is for the man to help his partner achieve an orgasm first, before his first one; then last if it is her desire. In between, the two of you can enjoy as many as each of you desires. Help her have more during your down times (refractory period). Doing so will keep the action going and extend the length of your session.

The point of this experiment is to establish a base line from which to modify what you do, when, and to better your chances of both having climaxes sooner than later.

Lastly, COMMUNICATE with each other and give each other feedback. None of us are mind readers. Communication can be both verbal (words and utterances) as well as non-verbal (body language). Let each other know what you need now/next--and then how you are responding to his/her caresses. Making love is not what we do to each other; rather, what we do with and for each other in partnership. (Read: teamwork.)

Don't rush, yet at the same time, see how quickly you can help each other climax while incorporating all of the stages (Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, and, Foreplay). Do this several times, then reintroduce intercourse with the emphasis on your being able to achieve a climax from the stroking and thrusting. (Help her enjoy one or more orgasms beforehand.)

Make sure you are about to lose control yet not so close that you cannot shift around and get into position. Work on climaxing within the first few strokes and certainly within the first couple of minutes. If you fail, pull out and return to the basics in order to rebuild your level of arousal to return you to the brink of a climax. Then, repeat.

[COLOR="blue">Once again, im only concerned for her, and if there is something i am doing wrong, please tell me, and how I can fix it.
Thx again,
Durrence[/COLOR][/QUOTE]

Hopefully, with your cooperation, all this should provide better insight into why the two of you cannot climax in a timely manner and then give you the knowledge and skills needed. After reintroducing intercourse, and helping her to have one or more climaxes, first, be sure her genitals are being adequately stimulated, and if need be, fingering her in addition to the stroking/thrusting. (In addition to you being at or near the brink of your orgasm upon entering, make sure she is, also.)

Standing by.............

-doc

It would behoove you to read as many of the stickies as possible. If someone is having intense full body orgasms, you should easily be able to tell.

In addition to what others have already mentioned, please be sure that you are using the correct type of condom for your size. The difference between a Magnum and Magnum XL is mainly girth, not length. If soreness is a problem and you are using enough lube, especially with how long penetration lasts, try using a non-latex condom such as polyisoprene(Lifestyle's Skyn or Durex Avanti Bare). They are less abrasive than latex. If they do not fit well, then the next option is the FC-2 Female condom which is made of nitrile and is the only option available that accommodates larger size(specifically girth) and is non-latex. The latter takes a while to get used to and you can expect mixed results. Lamb, while larger and non-latex, does not protect against STD's.

Your very delayed climax is probably the primary cause, so do be sure to abstain from rigorous masturbation so that your body can adjust to the more subtle stimulation of a vagina. The extra foreplay should also be applied to you so that you are closer to climax prior to penetration.