Men faking it?

[pai]

How do you tell? Say a condom is involved so theres not really any way to feel or see proof. What are some universal giveaways? (assuming, of course, that hes NOT an expert con/liar/fake)

[EvilEvilKitten]

Faking orgasms is a 'weenie' play. If you're not into her/him then have the cojones to SAY so (even if you're female).

[pai]

Yes... that is, if thats what hes doing. You are jumping to conclusions.

Does anyone know how to tell if this is indeed whats happening?

[CleverName]

Just tell him you want him to finish on your chest or something, so you can see it. Big turn on anyways.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Most men have a 'second gear' that they move into when going for their orgasm. If he doesn't get into his second gear, then he probably didn't orgasm.

Another way to tell is to offer him more sex immediately afterwards - if he orgasmed, he most likely CAN'T perform immediately afterwards. And I do mean IMMEDIATELY.

[the_moth]

Awhile ago my gf and i were having sex, she orgasmed and i didnt 'come' in the condom, but still felt as if i did. We thought the condom tore but it didnt...after finding out no tear she started giving me oral and this time i did 'come', and it felt even moreso pleasurable and intense, unless i misunderstood is this the 'second gear' you speak of?

[EvilEvilKitten]

No, the 'second gear' is a man's movements when he goes for his orgasm.

[e_room_matt]

Do not stress if you think a guy faked, unless this is an ongoing chronic problem. If he seems ok with the situation. He is.

I've only faked once or twice in my life and the woman had nothing to do with it. I recall just holding back too long once and getting numb. I faked out of courtesy as we were both starting to get sore and I wasn't close to finishing. Nobody wants their parter to feel frustrated or self-conscious (let alone injured).

As long as he made sure you got satisfied, he likes you.

[pai]

Originally Posted by e_room_matt

Do not stress if you think a guy faked, unless this is an ongoing chronic problem. If he seems ok with the situation. He is.

I've only faked once or twice in my life and the woman had nothing to do with it. I recall just holding back too long once and getting numb. I faked out of courtesy as we were both starting to get sore and I wasn't close to finishing. Nobody wants their parter to feel frustrated or self-conscious (let alone injured).

As long as he made sure you got satisfied, he likes you.

Thats a good post. I'm not worried about any of the things you mentioned. To put it simply, I'm his first and I want to make sure I'm doing everything I can to make it mindblowing for him, and not knowing if he actually got off ( job well done ) or is faking it for my sake because hes too nervous to get off ( isn't going to do either of us any good ). I can't know if I'm way off the mark or not if he doesn't give me any signals

As far as body language, he is either extremely good at faking, or he did indeed got off. Looks like it, sounded like it, but I am just not sure. I also don't know how much of my confusion is due to never having used condoms before until him, so I've always had "proof" and now I am going forward blindly so to speak. I'm sure it would be incredibly rude to call him out in the middle of sex "did you really just cum or are you lying to me" seems..... mean

[EvilEvilKitten]

First - stop trying to please him to this extent. Trust him to tell you yeah or nay and stop trying to second-guess him.
Take him at his word.

Second - this is not The Olympics, sex doesn't have to be perfect to please, you're not in competition with anyone or anything, and no one's keeping score.