i just cant do it

[Eforcer]

QUOTE

I hate giving oral and the thought of him cumming on me. I dont know what it is I it just makes me feel degraded and turns me off so much I would rather have no sex than to have great sex knowing that I have to do it.

You anwsered it right there!

You shouldn't have to commit to this if you are not interested all! Sex is about enjoying and pleasing each other were both agree to what your doing. If not, that individual is only thinking about themselves. I would rather my partner be happy with what I'm doing than to be forced into an unpleasurable situation.
JMO

[lnt1103]

Her reasons don't matter, dlb. When someone is as emotionally troubled by something as the OP is by this, the issue goes far beyond a single act, or a simple opinion thereof.

This girl's aversion to this goes right down to her fiber. It borders on gutteral. That doesn't get simply explained away, and one does not simply decide to do it anyway because it pleases someone else. When it's this strong, you don't just put it on a shelf--th'aint no shelf that will hold it.

Some day, if she meets the right guy, who goes about it in the right way, perhaps, just PERHAPS, she'll be able to get past it. If she chooses to, which she does not have to do. But EEK's right, it's nowhere near mandatory.

[alanna]

she does have a very strong aversion and it will help her to ponder where it's coming from. if she can figure that out, she has a place to work from. and it seems that she does want to work on it. not necessarily b/c boyfriend is guilting her into it (which - agree - is NOT a healthy or nice thing to do), but because, like she said - she knows it will please him.

there ARE steps women can take to overcome their fear or disgust of giving oral sex (i have a few of them on my resources page here Blow Him Away - RESOURCES), and i strongly recommend they look into it and consider taking a new approach. i'm not saying this is fair or right, but the fact is 99% of men will not date a woman who does not give oral sex. furthermore, if they ARE in a relationship where they're getting mediocre head, they WILL look outside the relationship to satisfy their oral needs. my income over the last 5 years is a testimony to that harsh reality.

i feel for her...i really do. but i believe she can take action and get over it...step by step.

alanna

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you just can't do it - fine! You don't have to do it. Stop feeling guilty about it. There is more than one way to please your boyfriend.

People, STOP pushing limits.

It is NOT your job to change (or fix) anyone. Just take them as they come.

[A good one]

This seems to be a problem nowadays, i think that the main cause a woman won`t give head is the antourage, what that person has heard in time maybe from a early age about giving head(that it`s degrading) or comments like "oh I would never do that" and they form an opinion that is wrong about it and they just don`t have the strenght to come back on track.
What I say is nobody and I repeat nobody if they think giving head is wrong should do it becouse of guilt, pressure or becouse they think they owe something, they should not do it becouse it`s about one`s integrity, you are what you are, an unique person and you should not bend but instead try to hear out as many oppinions as possible and try to work on the problem, try to make it work for you but if you can`t solve the problem then it is my oppinion it should be left alone becouse I think we are all different in what we think and feel and it is right to be this way.
I am a male and I myself have been thought by the antourage that giving oral sex is disgusting and degrading and for some time I thought so but after some time I came to think with my own head and don`t know how but the idea of pleasing a woman in that way pleasing the person you love has become very arousing.
I asked my loved one about giving head(and it wasan`t easy for me) and she accepted but she did not embrace the idea, she felt disgusted by it but felt obbligated to give something in return, to please as she would be pleased and I tell you if I accepted something like that I could not look myself in the mirror anymore, I could not accept something that is not equaly pleasurable for both of us, that`s my idea of a couple.
You can agree or you can disagree, you can comment and I will be pleased to answer any and all questions
This is my opinion

[EvilEvilKitten]

To put it bluntly (yeah, I know) NOT DOING SOMETHING IS NOT NECESSARILY A "PROBLEM".

If she/he doesn't want x, y, or z - they don't want x, y, or z - ENOUGH!

If you are going to push it, thinking he/she has a "problem" - then YOU'RE the one with the problem. The problem called a LACK OF RESPECT.

[A good one]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

To put it bluntly (yeah, I know) NOT DOING SOMETHING IS NOT NECESSARILY A "PROBLEM".

If she/he doesn't want x, y, or z - they don't want x, y, or z - ENOUGH!

If you are going to push it, thinking he/she has a "problem" - then YOU'RE the one with the problem. The problem called a LACK OF RESPECT.

Read the damn post before you reply