New to bondage. Help Please!

[mrsreg]

So my husbands birthday is this Tuesday, i wanted to try some bondage as a surprise. I bought wrist and ankle restraints, riding crop, sexy outfit. The works. Heres the thing, Ive never done it so I'm extremely nervous. We've played with toys and been a bit rough during sex but I'm not even sure how to start this kind of thing. He's usually the one in control of sex. So the idea of switching rolls scares me a little. I'm so very turned on by the idea but am not sure how to be dominant. Tips please. How should i start off. How should i tease him? And is a striptease a good idea in this situation? Thanks for your time people.

[dancingdoc2]

Originally Posted by mrsreg

So my husbands birthday is this Tuesday, i wanted to try some bondage as a surprise.

Happy Birthday, early.

I bought wrist and ankle restraints, riding crop, sexy outfit. The works. Heres the thing, Ive never done it so I'm extremely nervous.

I always recommend that a person go about this as would any actor or actress. Play the part of the character you wish to portray. By acting like a character in a movie or play you become directly removed and are much freer to act in the way your character would instead of how "you" might, thus eliminating much of the uncertainty and nervousness. With your inhibitions set aside, you can play and enact on the fly what your imagination creates in the way of a script.

We've played with toys and been a bit rough during sex but I'm not even sure how to start this kind of thing. He's usually the one in control of sex.

For me, personally, I recommend your script be more teasing and tantalizing. The goal is to remove his ability to be in control!

So the idea of switching rolls scares me a little.

Use your imagination and do a little fantasizing ahead of time about what you and he will be doing--or more to the point, what you will be subjecting him to. Doing so will give you suggestions for a script and for how to portray your part when the time comes.

I'm so very turned on by the idea but am not sure how to be dominant. Tips please. How should i start off. How should i tease him? And is a striptease a good idea in this situation? Thanks for your time people.

Much of how you script your "play" depends upon how he handles surprises and more to the point, the unknown. I've mentioned before how this reminds me of a "Dirty Harry" movie in which Clint Eastwood's character is tied to a wooden straightback chair and the vixon has her way with him. The fun is that he is completely powerless over what happens to him and his reactions to what she does to him. Not wanting to become aroused and powerless to prevent this from happening is frustrating. The more he fights his uncontrolable reactions, the more aroused he becomes. Now, place your man in this or a similar situation using the bed, as an example. Tease him, make suggestive remarks to him in order to whet his appetite and ramp up his level of anticipation and thus his excitement.

Perhaps you will want to give him a lap dance before removing his clothing in stages. Maybe you would like to begin the proceedings by leading him down the hallway into the bedroom--or, if you want to use a suitable chair, into whatever room the chair is in. Order him to "sit" and be still. Then proceed to tie him up before having your way with him. Alternately, don't tie him up in the beginning. Do this later after having tantalized him a bit, first.

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You can then read Chapter Three and then Chapter one in that order. Next, go to the Index found at the top of the main screen and read the articles on "The Program" by, EEK. You can impliment her ideas into what you do with and for your man.

You might begin with a strip tease--or not, as you choose. If you do, consider whether you want him restrained, first, or later, as you get more into your script. Lady's choice. What is a "Safe Word"? Choosing & Using...


If you ever do want to be rough with him, do so like real actors do in the movies--pull your punches so to speak in that you give the illusion of being rough without actually physically being so. As an example, let's say you want to spank him; rather than hitting hard, do so more playfully so you sting him a little bit. Get the idea?

Lastly, what about driving him wild (mad?) by withholding his ability to climax? Do you know how to read his reactions to being stimulated and when he is about to reach the peak of his arousal curve and go beyond the point of no return? If so, you can kiss and caress him and build his level of excitement and anticipation over and over, again, yet all the while keeping him from climaxing then you can really cause him some mental and physical agony without doing any harm.

So, what what do you think about all this? Do not be worried about having a full blown script prepared. Keep in mind that making love is not so much what we do to each other (except in these situations); rather, what we do with and for each other as will ultimately be the case. Explore and learn together and make up things as you go.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

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Please report back.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Dear,
Go to Wicked Woman Group and read all the information on the site.

This is a website specifically about the soft sexual domination of men.

[dlb]

I am not going to suggest any sites or sources this time. I have a special fondness for the Clint Eastwood scene Doc mentions, but I insist it's in The Rookie not a Dirty Harry movie and the villainous vixen is Sonia Braga -yum. Check out that scene in that movie. It's near the end. You could spin off from that or just come up with something on your own.
Be creative!
The strip could be a good thing after he is restrained. Do everything you can to tease him, make him beg for sexual release. See how horny you can get him. Maybe you can get him to the point where he has a steady stream or pre-ejaculatiry fluid flowing from his penis. Get a spoon and feed him his own precum. You might have to taste some yourself to show him how good it is, but that will make him even hornier.

About the crop: OK in pop imagery the riding crop is a symbol of power, one of the first things that comes to mind when people think of Bondage and Discipline or Sadism and Masochism. It is a visual symbol, but also a sex toy. It is not just for hitting. You can lightly run the slapper part over his entire body. Tease his nipples, his lips, underarms, thighs, perineum and genitalia with the crop. Avoid striking soft tissues, the face, the spine, the kidneys or either side of joints or anywhere that there is a large and obvious tendon.!!!!

If you plan to strike him with the crop practice hitting a pillow or stuffed animal or both for a few days. Try to strike with the slapper.

You can strike him on the buttocks with the rod of the crop if you both wish-stick to the meatiest part of his buttocks for now.

After all is over and done. Be really sweet to him and tell him what a good job he did! He might need a big glass of water and I like to reward my bottoms with a nice piece of chocolate.

Have a great time---
bumming here because I cannot visit my whip slut tonight and give her the birthday lashes that we both want..oh well my problem

[EvilEvilKitten]

Hey dlb Baby - we're talking beginner here!

For the crop - use it for decor at first, then do repeated gentle taps on the ame spot which will have a similar effect after a time which is increased sensitivity and pinkness.

Remember there's no need to get all hard and rough - being subtle can be just as marvelous.

In any case, I do recommend going slowly and carefully and NOT pushing limits but instead inviting him to reveal facets of his desire as he feels comfortable. You have to ERAN that kind of trust, not demand it.

[dlb]

Hey EvilEvilKitten darlin! Crops are light beginner stuff as far as whacking people goes, but they can be very versatile, even for beginners.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Quite so, but ya know...most people try to run before they can walk.

No harm is asking her to think this through first.