needing help...

[jpratt2009]

ok i love my boyfriend but we have been together 7 months and hes only came once....any tips on how i can make it better??

[Brandye]

Talk to him, not to us. Sounds like his problem, not yours.

[EvilEvilKitten]

We are each responsible for our own orgasms - you do not give him orgasms, you only assist him to have them. If he doesn't orgasm then that's something he has to work on.

Talk to him and find out what's going on in his head.

[dancingdoc2]

Came once how? Intercourse? Oral? Hand job? Other?

If from intercourse, is he doing lots and lots of stroking and thrusting in an attempt to build and peak his arousal in order to get to the brink of an orgasm? If so, then you are going about this all wrong. Peaking his arousal, peaking your arousal are both why we fool around and make out from all the Necking, Petting, Heavy Petting, that comes before ever getting to Foreplay and then Intercourse. Guys nowadays operate under the misguided misconception that the way to a climax is from lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking. Wrong.

If you mean that you have attempted to bring him to a climax from a hand job and/or oral then I suggest you read this article:

How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

Guys very often are turned on much more from Foreplay activities yet do not climax. Why? Because the stimulation as pleasurable as it is is the wrong type and not what he has come to rely upon over the years to bring about a climax. What needs to happen is for him to demonstrate how he masturbates and then to tak you hand in his and in order for you to learn to mimic his movements and pressures. Key to this is for him to give feedback, verbal or non-verbal on how is is responding and for what he needs now/next. (The same is true for him with you.)

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I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Eforcer]

Sounds like you really need to chat with him. There is no pleasure if he doesn't control himself. I had that problem, it was addressed to me at an early age. I really didn't realize that I was being selfish. After that I found more pleasure in pleasing my girl friends first. Sex tended to last a whole lot longer. And was a great way to exercise.

[Durrence]

Being a guy with the same problem (I last for 3 hours on average), i have continuously heard the same thing when i have asked for advice, Talk to your partner. It's not you that is making any mistakes nor is it impossible for you to alleviate this problem, but the only way to make any headway is to sit down and have a good ol' heart to heart. maybe ask him questions that relate to his masturbatory techniques, or what he finds to be the most pleasing parts of your sexual activities, and go off that. I have found personally, that it I cannot climax until i know that i have completely satisfied my partner (though i still suffer from my original problem), though i still have to masturbate for quite some time till i do climax myself. would like to know however, how this all turned out for you, in hopes that maybe i could myself learn a thing or two.

[noirblanc]

I used to have the same issue. My first few times having sex I never climaxed. The same still happens if I sleep with a random girl, or one I'm not totally comfortable with (as in not knowing them so well). It simply seems my subconscious won't let me relax or be comfortable enough to fully release. Whether your boyfriend has the same problem (this is also directed to Durrence) I do not know, but it may be a matter of being at ease in every sense of the word.

[Durrence]

Guess thats a good reason to search for that Mrs. Right then. i thank you for your advice and hope that i may be able to return and tell you that it was a success.