need some advice...

[KatNasty]

My man's penis is extremely large, don't get me wrong, I LOVE IT. I am a pretty petite womand my vagina is very tight and narrow. Being 30 years old, the man has got serious stamina, and I also have a very intense sex drive. Our sex life is amazing, but due to these factors, I cannot alwys last as long as him because I get so swollen. This can make me feel inadequate at times. But of course I make sure he cums by other methods. Just wondering how other men and women feel about this or how others deal with it. I appreciate your feedback!

[funinthesun]

More foreplay, adequate lube, and the use of polyisoprene, polyurethane, lamb, or female condoms should be the first things you try.


Also, make sure that he knows what he is doing and isn't just mindlessly slamming away.

[Massdebator]

I believe funinthesun has it right. The polyisoprene condoms, like Lifestyles Skyn, are less abrasive than their latex counterparts and the additional lubes will help in that regard as well. If you spend more time on foreplay, both of you could be closer to climaxing before you engage in intercourse. This means less thrusting, and as a consequence, less irritation for you.

[Brandye]

or, if you achieve orgasm before penetration, you will be in the most relaxed state in your lower abdomen. Best time for penetration.

[KatNasty]

Thanks for the advice... we r both damn good in bed, and not just during penetration... but we r engaged and both want to start a family, so we don't use condoms... also, I have never used anything but laytex, and he can't wear anything smaller than magnums. Do lamb skin and these other materials increase pleasure, or is it jus "better" than latex? ... And now I have this whoke other issue. Re: porn... guess I'll put that under a different topic. Oh, and p.s. people seem to forget or not realize how BADASS astroglide is!

[Jinxypoo]

I had an iIssue like that...either I couldn't last...or he couldnt last...so one day I bought that KY Yours and Mine...And for some reason...we both lasted till we both were so out of breath...and dare I say it...Over Orgasamed...it's and awsome product.

[funinthesun]

I generally don't recommend lubes other than a dab of simple water based KY to start because other lubes can take forever to get off and cause adverse reactions with the amount of chemicals and allergens like glycerin/paraben/menthol. KY Yours and Mine is simply a joint repackaging of KY Warming and KY Tingling. Silicone can work well(only a small dab is needed), but it's not going to come off.

I have enough girth where only Magnum Thin or XL fit comfortably, but the polyisoprene Skyn work well enough stretching for marathons where latex won't do. I greatly prefer the feel of the polyisoprene, as have my partners.

Note: Polyurethane DOES NOT work for larger girth as it has much less stretch.

[Massdebator]

Kat, I can't speak on the lambskin condoms but polyisoprene condoms are hypoallergenic, less abrasive, and odorless like polyurethane, and have the stretchiness of latex. If you two are already not using condoms, using plenty of lube, and otherwise "handling your business," then try Brandye and funinthesun's suggestions on foreplay. The only other thing I could think to suggest is to ensure that his fingers or anything else that is to be inserted into you is very clean. Dirt under the fingernails can cause minor infections which will lead to discomfort or inflammation during these types of activities. I'm getting into Doc and Brandye's territory again, so I'll leave it at that and hope I haven't misspoken. I doubt that's the source of your problem anyway, based on what you've described.

[EvilEvilKitten]

If you are getting swollen then sorry sweetheart but he ISN'T doing it right and the pain you experience is sapping your stamina and your pleasure.

The type of condom used is immaterial in this context - if his size is an issue go to condomania.com and get them custom made. Various types are available. The type of lubricant used should be compatible with the condom's material.

As a woman who can, and frequently does, exhaust 16 men in 4 hours of play, I can tell you all about feminine stamina. It begins in your head with your attitude about your sexuality and your policies regarding sex. Then it continues with your past experiences - YOU might think you're amazing (of course he does - he's male and not a total idiot) but there just might be something affecting you. It could be something very small indeed that you disliked then and your fiance did something similar and there your mood went so you dried up a bit. Think about the above and TELL HIM.

Once your mind is clear and any past issues have been dealt with, move onto your technique. Are you relaxed while aroused or do you tense up to achieve orgasm? Do you hold your breath? Do you permit him to do something he likes that you're not crazy about just to keep him happy, all of the time? How about the reverse - is he not doing something you want him to do? Have you talked this over with him?

That's you; now it is his turn under the microscope. Does he follow The Program - a sticky post outlining the most effective 'schedule of events' for a sexual interlude found elsewhere on this site? If not, why not? Does he know your body, how it is wired, and does he "listen" to your body when it "speaks" to him? Does he use SMALL movements? Does he do three things simultaneously or does he just focus on one at a time? Is he changing positions or movements too frequently? Does he ever seem 'frantic'?

This is all in the absence of medical issues and/or past abuse issues. If either of those are present, then professional medical advice si required before you two go any further.

If you're not healthy and happy then the sex you will have will be less than you're capable of enjoying.