Its Hard to Finish During a Handjob

[BigMike]

Hi everyone.
as you can see i am a new member to this site here and i have a little problem. I have a girl friend and she is kind of shy because we've been goin out for about 2 weeks now. The only thing she will do is give me a hand job. She gave me a pretty good one recently but it was very hard to finish. I have had girls in the past give me hand jobs for a couple minutes and then give me head to help make me finish. This girl will only give a hand job; no giving head and no sex (heartbreaker haha)

I just wanted to know if this was normal and if guys have this problem....Also, i wonder if there are any girls who have had guys who have the same problem.

thanks

[nuttychick]

Hi and Welcome... I am sure you find the answer to your question in the INDEX .............--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

have a read and then if you have further questions comeback and ask


and NO i have never had a problem getting a guy off with hand or mouth

[dancingdoc2]

Yes, this is common.

Please read thru the Index as it contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles. The one you want is on how to give each other h/j's and b/js.

Key to you success is to have you show her how you masturbate and then to take her hand and guide her movements over several sessions until she learns to mimic your movements. Next, comes feedback. Both of you need to let the other know how you are responding and for what you need now/next.

[Brandye]

In only two weeks you are lucky to be getting handjobs.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Hmmm 2 weeks and he's demanding "help me to finish?"

Look, guy, what have you done for her lately? Does she ever get to finish? All she gets to do is say "I have a bf" and then she gets to play with your penis.

Please, think of the other person's perspective BEFORE you begin asking questions the begin "how can I get her...?"

[dancingdoc2]

Only two weeks! Sounds like she is desperate to be loved. Sounds like he is an opportunist. Makes one wonder what sort of foundation they are building for a relationship.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Both have poor attitudes.

[lnt1103]

i have to agree. Two weeks in, and you're already wondering when the oral and sex will happen??? You're not just lucky, you're DAMN lucky to be getting it by hand. You're trying to move this WAY too fast. All that pressure will do is slow things down, intimidate her and make her feel inferior for not being as 'developed' as you in terms of experience and skill. Just chill.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Intimidated? Okay. Disgusted, yes, I can understand a girl becoming disgusted at the "I only want sex from you attitude" but intimidated? When all she has to do during the handjob is SQUEEZE?

[dancingdoc2]

Mike? Where are you? What comment do you have? How 'bout some discussion so you can broaden your knowledge?

> (heartbreaker haha)

If you are heartbroaken, why the "haha"?

> The only thing she will do is give me a hand job. She gave me a pretty good one recently but it was very hard to finish.

Asked and answered, above. Also, learn where your hot spots are if you do not already know (The Frenulum and one or more distributed around the Corona Rim) and show her how and when to tease them. Use a lubricant, even if only saliva.

> I have had girls in the past give me hand jobs for a couple minutes and then give me head to help make me finish.

OK...how long into each relationship did all this happen? Less than two weeks?

What do you want from your burgeoning relationship with this girl?

It is important for guys to understand how each gender views relationships and more importantly, sex. While it is true in some situations that girls want sex for sex sake, most having a relationship want to be valued, appreciated, loved, and as part of all this will participate in sex. Guys more often than not will say and do just about anything in order to get their rocks off. "Love?" This may or may not come along later to keep the flow of orgasms coming.

This begs the question, Mike, are you only looking for this girl to put out regularly, or, do you want more from your involvement with her? If so, what?

Another important fact to add to your knowledge base is that while orgasms are a necessary part of a male's physiology, not so for a woman's. Females of the species can get along very well without having an orgasm as long as their other needs are addressed--their emotional needs.

Such being the case, our recommendations, above, are for you to slow down and work on developing a meaningful connection between you. This will take time and effort. Think months. When a woman feels secure in the presence of her man, has trust in him, feels valued, loved, desired {for more than just her body), then you can begin to expect that sex will become a part of this as these acts are the outward expression of the emotions between you.

In the meantime help her to be comfortable in your presence, develop trust in all that you say and do, and be able to build a level of intimacy. As these develop, she will very likely expand upon what intimate acts she participates in.

In addition to the many helpful articles listed in the Index, please read the section in Chapter 3 regarding boundaries.

Even though we have been a bit critical of your expectations, above, I do hope all this helps you maintain the proper perspective.

Good luck. Got questions?