orders

[Foreplaybaby]

hi everyone!

i've known my boyfriend for almost 4 years so we are very comfortable with each other - ie no shyness factors.
Recently my bf told me that I really turn him on when I give him orders and be in command sort of esp during foreplay. I have been doing it unconsiously when having fun, but when he mentioned it he confused me. He asked me to start giving him orders etc. I asked him what he meant and he just told me to do it my way.
Any help pls?? thanks so much

[hoorah]

Sounds to me like he wants to be bossed around in bed, nothing wrong with that

Have fun with it, make him call you "Ma'am" or something. If you both like it, and are truly in tune with each other and can easily tell when something is wrong or too much, then there's no harm in having some fun.

"he just told me to do it my way" means he doesn't want you to change anything, except to have more of it

Now of course, if this isn't something you want to do, then don't do it. But that applies to all sex-related things, and it applies to everyone even the person giving the orders

[Foreplaybaby]

thanks hoorah for your advice
no it is something that i want to do...it's just that i wasn't aware that it had such effect on him, and now that he's asked for more i'm feeling more self-conscious and eager to please him, yet at the same time a bit at loss at what i should do. but thanks

[dancingdoc2]

Ya know what kids sometimes say: "you're not the boss of me!" Well, in a way he would like you to have a take charge attitude occasionally in which you give him directions and/or orders to do this or that and when. He doesn't want you to be "bossy" in the typical way we think of this, just being a take charge person whether you "crack the whip" so to speak, or, just give him instructions sternly albeit quietly. Your choice.

You can even begin before getting into bed. If you are elsewhere, instruct him to go to the bedroom and stand in a particular spot facing away from the door. Tell him you will be in shortly and not to move.

When you go to the bedroom a minute or so later, stand in the doorway and admire him from behind and let him know you are doing this. Then ask him to remove his shirt, and keep going slowly until he is standing there with or without his underwear on. Your choice.

Next, you might want him to slowly turn around so you can admire him from the front--or not. If not, walk up behind him and caress his back and upper torso and at some point slip a finger into the waistband of his shorts and snap them, instructing him to remove them.

If he lets them slide to the floor, tell him he did not do it correctly and to pull them up and try, again. As he bends over, you can quickly and briefly slip you fingers between his legs in a caressing manner and then remove them. If you want, slip your hands around the front and briefly fondle his scrotum.

If he has an erection, ask him WHY? "What are you expecting to have happen!?" You can react favorably, coyly, or indignantly, depending upon your mood.

If his answer is that he was hoping for sex or words to that affect, tell him "not yet" and that you want his erection to go away. He may not have a clue how to do this so you just tell him you'll wait and then do just that. Eventually, if you do nothing but actively admire his body his erection will subside. Why do you want this to happen? So you can take charge and rebuild it! Remember, most women like being in charge of their man's penis, what happens to it and when. Doing things to make it become erect is arousing to both parties. Do not spend much if any more time with this at this point.

Next direct him to sit on the bed, lie on the bed, or whatever you wish, and then begin to have your way with him--from the top down. (Before you do this however, please read EEKs papers listed in the Index as well as others on how to make out, etc., beforehand.)

What would you like him to do? Stand up? Bend over? "Spread 'em, buddy?" Lie down? Touch yourself? (How and where) Kiss me. (How and where) Instruct and then give directions on how you wish to be touched and caressed and then give him step-by-step guidance all along the way. As part of this, direct him how to position himself as he goes about pleasuring you.

Correct him. As one example, if he is fingering a nipple--
* tell him how to go about doing it, step-by-step, wet or dry or switching
* tell him he is not doing it correctly and then give him instructions
* if he is doing things right and you are indeed responding, let him know overtly and get into it. Of course this may distract you or set you back a little, but so what? It's his reaction to your response that is important.

If you are normally a verbally responsive individual when being caressed, ramp up your responses! If you are normally fairly quiet, get vocal! Moan, groan, respond with "yes...yes", "more", "more more", "DON'T STOP!" Get really into this and squirm or writhe a little in response to his touch.

When you get to the Foreplay stage, give him step-by-step instructions on how to finger you, how to use his tongue and where. If you can and care to, when it comes time for intercourse, keep him at bay for a little while and make him work for it a little. You'll probably benefit from this as will he. When you are ready, give him direct and precise instructions on how to go about inserting his penis--even if it is a bit absurd. Tell him how to go about insertion, how far, how long, how to stroke--break his movements down.

Consider teasing him at some point as you are caressing his body. Build his level of arousal and then pause letting his sense of urgency subside before rebuilding it one or two more times. Tell him bluntly what you are going to do and when. Your intent is to drive him wild with anticipation.
* One thing you can do is get him all primed and ready to enter you and then stop him saying something like he doesn't appear quite ready yet. If you have been stroking and/or giving oral stimulation to him up to this point, demand that he stroke himself and then you watch the "show". You don't want to torture the lad too much, although, you could drag this out a little by having him begin to enter you, and then telling him, not yet, that more stimulation seems necessary. Play this by ear and have fun with all this all the while seeming to be stern and serious.

So, while you may be direct and forthcoming with your instructions, the whole idea is to make the adventure fun, exciting, and, somewhat exasperating from time to time. Whatever works in the moment. Explore and learn together.

Take the above script and use it in whole or in part; or, as ideas to create your own scripts.

Enjoy

[dancingdoc2]

Ya know what kids sometimes say: "you're not the boss of me!" Well, in a way he would like you to have a take charge attitude occasionally in which you give him directions and/or orders to do this or that and when. He doesn't want you to be "bossy" in the typical way we think of this, just being a take charge person whether you "crack the whip" so to speak, or, just give him instructions sternly albeit quietly. Your choice.

You can even begin before getting into bed. If you are elsewhere, instruct him to go to the bedroom and stand in a particular spot facing away from the door. Tell him you will be in shortly and not to move.

When you go to the bedroom a minute or so later, stand in the doorway and admire him from behind and let him know you are doing this. Then ask him to remove his shirt, and keep going slowly until he is standing there with or without his underwear on. Your choice.

Next, you might want him to slowly turn around so you can admire him from the front--or not. If not, walk up behind him and caress his back and upper torso and at some point slip a finger into the waistband of his shorts and snap them, instructing him to remove them.

If he lets them slide to the floor, tell him he did not do it correctly and to pull them up and try, again. As he bends over, you can quickly and briefly slip you fingers between his legs in a caressing manner and then remove them. If you want, slip your hands around the front and briefly fondle his scrotum.

If he has an erection, ask him WHY? "What are you expecting to have happen!?" You can react favorably, coyly, or indignantly, depending upon your mood.

If his answer is that he was hoping for sex or words to that affect, tell him "not yet" and that you want his erection to go away. He may not have a clue how to do this so you just tell him you'll wait and then do just that. Eventually, if you do nothing but actively admire his body his erection will subside. Why do you want this to happen? So you can take charge and rebuild it! Remember, most women like being in charge of their man's penis, what happens to it and when. Doing things to make it become erect is arousing to both parties. Do not spend much if any more time with this at this point.

Next direct him to sit on the bed, lie on the bed, or whatever you wish, and then begin to have your way with him--from the top down. (Before you do this however, please read EEKs papers listed in the Index as well as others on how to make out, etc., beforehand.)

What would you like him to do? Stand up? Bend over? "Spread 'em, buddy?" Lie down? Touch yourself? (How and where) Kiss me. (How and where) Instruct and then give directions on how you wish to be touched and caressed and then give him step-by-step guidance all along the way. As part of this, direct him how to position himself as he goes about pleasuring you.

Correct him. As one example, if he is fingering a nipple--
* tell him how to go about doing it, step-by-step, wet or dry or switching
* tell him he is not doing it correctly and then give him instructions
* if he is doing things right and you are indeed responding, let him know overtly and get into it. Of course this may distract you or set you back a little, but so what? It's his reaction to your response that is important.

If you are normally a verbally responsive individual when being caressed, ramp up your responses! If you are normally fairly quiet, get vocal! Moan, groan, respond with "yes...yes", "more", "more more", "DON'T STOP!" Get really into this and squirm or writhe a little in response to his touch.

When you get to the Foreplay stage, give him step-by-step instructions on how to finger you, how to use his tongue and where. If you can and care to, when it comes time for intercourse, keep him at bay for a little while and make him work for it a little. You'll probably benefit from this as will he. When you are ready, give him direct and precise instructions on how to go about inserting his penis--even if it is a bit absurd. Tell him how to go about insertion, how far, how long, how to stroke--break his movements down.

Consider teasing him at some point as you are caressing his body. Build his level of arousal and then pause letting his sense of urgency subside before rebuilding it one or two more times. Tell him bluntly what you are going to do and when. Your intent is to drive him wild with anticipation.
* One thing you can do is get him all primed and ready to enter you and then stop him saying something like he doesn't appear quite ready yet. If you have been stroking and/or giving oral stimulation to him up to this point, demand that he stroke himself and then you watch the "show". You don't want to torture the lad too much, although, you could drag this out a little by having him begin to enter you, and then telling him, not yet, that more stimulation seems necessary. Play this by ear and have fun with all this all the while seeming to be stern and serious.

So, while you may be direct and forthcoming with your instructions, the whole idea is to make the adventure fun, exciting, and, somewhat exasperating from time to time. Whatever works in the moment. Explore and learn together.

Take the above script and use it in whole or in part; or, as ideas to create your own scripts.

Enjoy

[EvilEvilKitten]

LOL


www.wickedwomangroup.us


all you need to know, dear.

[dlb]

Start of by saying, " Don't tell me what to do!"

[Foreplaybaby]

wow thanks dancingdoc2! that was amazing! and 10x everyone

[lnt1103]

I stumbled onto a similar thing kind of like this with an old bf one time. In a hot moment he asked me which of two things I wanted and I said 'I don't care, just do SOMETHING!!' He loved it that I'd gotten 'demanding'. I didn't intend it that way, that's just how it came out because of the heat of the moment.

Read it how ever you need to read it....ordering, demanding, assertiveness, or just going for what you want. It took me a little bit to get into the going for it thing once I realized I needed to be conscious about doing it. Takes practice like everything else, but it gets easier. It's really more about letting your thoughts come out your mouth, than anything else.

[22much]

Now he may simply like that you tell him what you like and what you want. I had a GF once that I went down on her for the first time and she said 'oh, squeeze my nipples'. Well heck that was the hottest thing I'd ever heard up till then. Now, I know it is good to let your partner know what you like but she was the first to do so.