Cant cum

[Ap1l]

hey can anyone help me on this my boyfriend can only ejaculate when he rubs himself. he says it has always been that way and that he finds it impossible to cum from sex, hand jobs or blow jobs only when he rubs it himself.
can anyone tell me why and how to change it?
thanks

[Buck Naked]

Rubbing how? Is it face down? The reason I ask is I've done some reading about TMS (Traumatic Masturbatory Syndrome) and that sounds a little like it. Without knowing and talking to your boyfriend it's hard to tell. Here's a link to read about it:

http://www.healthystrokes.com/


Hope it's not that.

[dancingdoc2]

"Rubbing" may simply be a matter of "stroking" and in the manner to which he has become accustomed.

My first question is how much time are the two of you devoting to making out and arousing each other? Then, just how aroused has he become when it is time to have intercourse?

There is a trend nowadays in which young men operate under the misguided misconception that the way to reach a climax is from lots and Lots and LOTS and LOTS of stroking. WRONG! The way to a climax is from spending lots of time making out and building excitement, sexual tension, and, anticipation, before ever getting to the foreplay stage.

Please familiarize yourself with the Index found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful as well as how to articles. I suggest reading this one:

How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

It is important to understand that we do not give orgasms away. All we can do is help our partner achieve them. Ask your boyfriend to take your hand and guide your movements and to provide feedback on how your are responding to his caresses and for what you need now/next.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[wet_suit_one]

While I agree with the Doc, if the only way he can get off is by masturbating prone (as per the 2nd post), he'll need to retrain his orgasms so you have a hope of getting him off.

I'm a TMS type and never cum from stimulation from my partners. I know whereof I speak.

Good luck with this!

[Ap1l]

thanks fr the quick replies
he is'nt a TMS sufferer but he does sleep on his front, could that lead to the problem?
sorry when i said rub it himself i meant masturbate. which he does on his back/normal way.
One of my friends said it could be due to low sperm count, is this true?

he says he doesn't mind that much because he can just keep going and its better than being too quick but then he said he only worries that it will be harder to have kids one day.

thanks, April

[Ap1l]

Thanks dancing doc maybe it is from not enough arousing him he spends more time getting me hot

[Brandye]

A low sperm count would not affect this. A very low testosterone level may and that may, in turn, affect the sperm count. I would recommend a complete physical include blood and hormone levels. The you will each know what you are dealing with. If everything is normal, crank up your imagination. We women are programmed to extract semen and there are many ways we can do it!

Success with any technique leads to success with other techniques.

[Browser]

I had this issue for a long time. Relaxing, getting to know himself better physically, and not masturbating will all help. For you, find something he likes and try it. Have him masturbate for you and mimic the motions that seem to work, etc. After the first time someone else got me off, I was able to orgasm normally without the mental block... hopefully you two will experience something similar.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Several reasons are possible:

1. he is too used to his own touch
2. he really doesn't like you
3. he has control issues - cannot 'give it up'
4. he is too outwardly focused

Yes, I know you said he was your boyfriend, nevermind that for the moment, those are the main reasons why a young man cannot or will not orgasm. Please notice that they are all psychological.

You have two choices:

1. kick him to the curb and move on
2. give him sensitivity training - either the nice way or the hard way

[Ap1l]

ok thanks
maybe it is psychological i think we will stick with it ...im not ready to kick him to the curb just yet lol
hmm might be an idea to get him to get his hormones checked
thank you everyone
april x