Staying... Tight?

[YoungNGay]

I figured this topic would best be placed here since of course anal sex isn't strictly limited to the gays, so here goes:

So I recently bought a dildo, planning to prep myself for eventual anal sex with my first, and new, bf. I didn't want to be caught off guard and just.. have a disaster, so I went ahead and bought one to try it out. Lots of lube later, I'm having no problems aside from the initial entry but I figure that's fine. Anyway, my concern came later. (This is where this also becomes a little less comfortable to articulate)

As I continue to engage in anal stimulation (whether it be with a dildo or otherwise), won't the "tightness" of my sphincter slowly decrease over time? I came here thinking I might possibly be able to dig up a post about.. exercises or something you might be able to do to keep "it" nearly as good as new.

Any help would be appreciated =) I used to peruse this place all the time, but never thought I'd be asking for advice myself.

[Brandye]

You will find yards of threads on anal sex. This is a controversial topic and I have been flamed for my position. No man is ever going to stick it in there - but then I have another place for it. I do not condemn those who do, only caution them.

The anus is designed as a one-way valve, outbound. The anal sphincter is not naturally flexible to accommodate penetration and the lining of the rectum is only one cell thick giving little elasticity. Compared to the vagina which is designed to accommodate quite large objects (babies) and allow entry (penis) as well as exit. The vagina is forty cells thick and very elastic.

Long term, the anus can be expected to become a bit loose and hemorrhoids are a common side-effect. These things wnot happen tomorrow or even next year but by late middle age some problems may be expected.

In the meantime, always use a condom and lots of lube. Ther condom is protection for both partners. The receiver will usually have tiny tears because of the way the anus and rectum is designed. This allows entry of bacteria (from yourself) and virus and bacteria from your partner. For the penis involved, fecal matter (no matter how well prepped) will be crammed into the urethra potentially causing urethritis or prostatitis.

[LustyLisa]

Since this is a lifestyle choice that you are embracing you'll need to be proactive in caring for yourself over the course of a lifetime. It always amazes me the number of gay males living in personal care and nursing homes that wear diapers. You need to learn the proper way to perform kegels excersises and always prepare your bottom and your mind for repeated penetration and be sure to speak up everytime something doesn't feel right or you feel pain. Over time, I'm sure that there will be some weakening and damage because that orifice isn't supposed to be an entrance. Always be cautious and prudent when selecting a partner for anal sex, make sure they are trustworthy and clean.

[YoungNGay]

Thank you both for your responses =)

Yes Brandye, I am well aware of your stance on anal sex, I've read quite a few of your posts, and can completely see where you're coming from. I appreciate the refresher, and I would never even think of doing it without a condom.

As for Lustylisa, that's a little disconcerting, but... such is life, I suppose. Gay males don't really have all that many options >.> I remember reading about Kegels Exercises a while ago but recently I saw my friends argue about whether or not men could do it, because apparently they were typically thought of as a vagina-only exercise. I'll need to research the male version, definitely.

Again, I really appreciate both of your responses, and your warnings won't go unheeded =)

(If anyone has any more comments, particularly about the Kegels exercises.. please feel free to continue this)

[Humble]

Well, I know that Kegel exercises do exist for men too, but I thought the muscles involved are those dealing with ejaculation and urination rather than the anal sphincter. I suppose if these muscles can be exercised there is no reason why analogous exercises could not exist for the anal sphincter too, but I haven't heard of them. If I were to guess, you could simply try repeatedly tightening and relaxing the sphincter and it would be exercised...

[EvilEvilKitten]

Kegels work for the anus as well - there's not a lot of room down there so often the muscles overlap etc.

Stopping the flow of urine when urinating repeatedly using your pc muscle is what you want to do.

[Humble]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Kegels work for the anus as well - there's not a lot of room down there so often the muscles overlap etc.

OK, that makes sense.

Stopping the flow of urine when urinating repeatedly using your pc muscle is what you want to do.

Yeah, this is a pretty uncomfortable way to exercise these muscles, but it works. Just tightening and relaxing them repeatedly might be a more comfortable way to do it though.

[Massdebator]

Quote:

Yeah, this is a pretty uncomfortable way to exercise these muscles, but it works. Just tightening and relaxing them repeatedly might be a more comfortable way to do it though.

EEK points out a good way for those unfamiliar with manipulating the PC muscles, such as the OP, to get an understanding of how to do so. The flow of urination provides the beginner with visible proof of whether or not they're working the correct muscles. Once competency with muscle control is achieved, it is a lot more comfortable to do Kegels exercises when you're not urinating. It's an option.

[vibrator]

People have been having anal sex since the beginning of time. I suspect everything will be just fine.