How to ask her to suck me to completion

[Njbh]

Hi,

My GF often gives head to me, but always as foreplay. I would very much like her to suck me to completion (even if she doesn't swallow). The problem is that the both of us are shy, we usually don't talk much about sex. So I fear I could hurt her feelings if I ask her to suck me to completion in a too direct way. What do you think?

Another "problem" is that she's too repetitive when sucking my cock. The strokes it with her mouth only; she doesn't use her hands; she doesn't take my cock out of her mouth and then back in. I would like to suggest her to improve her techniques, but once again, I fear I could hurt her. Any suggestions?

[dlb]

I say tell her what you like, want and need. Sex is not for the shy. If you want her to do something besides simply sucking you during fellatio just tell her, she will probably comply. If you don't express your needs she will continue to think that things are just dandy. Personally I think hands do not belong on the penis during fellation, except to hold it steady for the mouth. You might have seen women in porn movies vigorously stroking a penis in the middle of what should be a BJ scene. Much of what looks cool in porn flicks is not so cool in real life.

[LustyLisa]

The best approach would be direct but not begging of becomming demanding and leave the discision up to her. Not all women enjoy giving BJ's to completion as I am one, I simply don't do them. He's got too hands and if he wants release and satisfaction, he can handle that himself. If however he wants a mutual sexual encounter with me as his partner, then he accepts oral stimulation as foreplay only and we enjoy intercourse which is pleasing and mutually satifing to both partners. If she doesn't mind doing it, she'll comply with your request but don't be surprised if she thinks your request is selfish especially if you don't address her needs and offer her something to satisfy her too.

[Brandye]

Some women cansider oral sex as part of their regular bag of tricks; some do it because the guy likes it so much; some will not; and, some would not cnsider taking a penis into their mouths. Some change over time and some do not. We each have limits and this may be hers.

Get some non-lubricated poly condoms and ask her to complete the process that way. Then talk it out.

[Duanec60]

It's been said but you'll have to communicate and tell her what she wants. Approach it by saying.....I really like it when you did that part or.......why don't you try it this way......

[Brandye]

Additional thought:

If she places a thumb on the bottom base of your penis with a bit of pressure, she will be able to feel the ejaculate as it moves into the urethra. She can then take you out of her mouth and keep stroking gently with her hand.

She has to be quick! It is only an instant from the time she will it until it is coming out the end. When I am not in the mood for a mouthful, this works well.

[Njbh]

Thanks for the answers.

Yes, I know, dialogue is the key. What I fear actually, is that asking such a question as "do you mind sucking me till I come?" might embarrass her -- she's shy too.

This could make her feel uneasy, and somehow hurt our relationship. Or, she could feel obliged to accept to please me, without enjoying it at all.

[mattc]

Hey Lisa, not to be a jerk or anything but would you feel that way if the situation was reversed? I go down on my wife all the time, literally probably 98% of the time we have sex. When I don't it's usually because she wants to just have sex. If she's gone down on me 20 times in the nearly 3 years we've been together I'd be shocked! As for coming in her mouth...not a chance. Are you suggesting I say "no, I'm sorry but you have to hands and you can please yourself. Call me when you're done and I'll stick my dick in you"? That's kind of what I hear you saying and I don't see that going well.

[LustyLisa]

No mattc I'm not saying that at all being oral sex is the only way many women can either become aroused enough or even have an orgasm. On the otherhand, I've never needed oral stimulation to become adaquately aroused or to have an orgasm. I really enjoy orally stimulating my husband during foreplay more than I like receiving it myself and would be perfectly happy not to have the oral reciprocated on me. So if the situation was reversed, at least for me, it would be no problem and we'd have more time to spend doing other things that are allot more enjoyable than oral sex ( at least to me it's not all it's cracked up to be).

[EvilEvilKitten]

I agree with dlb - sex is not for the shy - but tact is appreciated. Therefore, saying "honey, I'd really appreciate it you would do x, y, and z when you're going down on me." is the acceptable formula. It is a REQUEST, not a DEMAND.

You also have more to discuss than this. Both of your attitudes towards sex have to be addressed. If you are going to indulge in adult play, you have to be adult about it.