Need Advise

[Gabby101]

This really all started when we got engaged. He started nagging about how much sex we have, so when I started to initiate more, he started in with "you are only doing it to make me happy".

He has several issues in his life... Work, lack of contact with friends/family, he has male problems, takes meds for depression.

We talked about going to counciling, but it never happened.

[dastranger]

Originally Posted by Gabby101

This really all started when we got engaged. He started nagging about how much sex we have, so when I started to initiate more, he started in with "you are only doing it to make me happy".

He has several issues in his life... Work, lack of contact with friends/family, he has male problems, takes meds for depression.

We talked about going to counciling, but it never happened.

Yeah, it definitely sounds like some counseling and seein' the doctor is in order. Any advice you may obtain on here, you should remember to use as a "guide," but real help for both of you will only come from professional help (counselling and doctor).

I do know that *many* depression meds causes significant lower sex drive, and his "male problems" are surely an issue on his low esteem. Ultimately whatever I (and others) tell you on here, it's pretty clear that the two of you need some professional help.

Don't despair though, the fact that you are trying to reach out for help is a good sign. Now, you and your partner need to move further in seeking help.

[Gorgeous Mistake]

Sounds like a complete a-hole to me...

[weasel]

Originally Posted by Wantingtolearn04

i have been with my girl for about 4 months..we have had sex once, and when we spoke about it she said that it wasnt that good....and when it was good... her head was burried in my chest..she didnt really seem like she was goiing to be a fan of that....Now i am 6ft tall and she is only 5'1....but i know that there has got to be awaay to get around this minor problem.....any tips? on what i should do?

before you begin having sex have foreplay and a lot of it, and i would suggest the cowgirl position where she is on top that should take the height variable out of it, the only other tip i can give you is practice

[38866]

If you think meds for depression might be partially to blame get other meds. lexapro and wellbutrin have very few sexual side effects. Prozac and Paxil are some of the worst. I have been in a situation were I was initiating because he wanted me to and I know he could see that i didn't really want to. Then one time I said something like how he should know that I really love him and I just hoped he still liked my ______. That was enough. I also had him convinced that he best way to turn me on was with a good massage--which was mainly true, got me so relaxed that sex sounded good. He was turned on and got over that fact that i was not 100% into it. Sex doesn't always have to be a performance it can just be sex sometimes and that's ok. At least I think its ok. After a few times I actually was back into it. Counseling would be great. Maybe you could get him to agree to like 3 sessions.

[raez]

Originally Posted by Wantingtolearn04

i have been with my girl for about 4 months..we have had sex once, and when we spoke about it she said that it wasnt that good....and when it was good... her head was burried in my chest..she didnt really seem like she was goiing to be a fan of that....Now i am 6ft tall and she is only 5'1....but i know that there has got to be awaay to get around this minor problem.....any tips? on what i should do?

My boyfriend and I have a similar height difference.. I know what its like to have my head buried awkwardly in his chest at times. However, sometimes I am so caught up in the moment that a little discomfort doesnt bother me and I just enjoy being so close to him. But if it really seems like thats something that bothers your girl, there are a variety of different positions to try. In fact a height difference can make some even easier, more comfortable and fun. I suggest looking at many of the positions that this site lists and seeing which ones interest you. Trying new things could also help your girl enjoy sex more. it takes time and experimenting to find the position that will give you both the most pleasure. And foreplay definitely helps any position you choose.

*My and my bf's favorite position is spooning, in that since he is so much taller its easy for him to be inside me while still holding me close to his chest and able to kiss me on the neck, ears, etc. Also, I find that it stimulates me the best from the inside, and he likes the particular feeling it provides as well and being able to feel all over my body, plus he can play with my clit at the same time. One thing that I enjoy about it the most is that it is so comforting to have him behind me, holding me. its very intimate feeling, perhaps your girlfriend will enjoy it as well.

[goof'schik]

wanttolearn04, try putting a pillow under her butt. it puts her bum higher than her head. i'm not 5'2" and i have used that in the past. as long as you don't forget she's there, under you. tell her how good she feels and ask if it feels good to her. ask if there is something she wants you to do.
goof and i don't have that big of a height distant, he's starting to shrink. ha ha ha. also if you have a headboard you can use that to keep yourself up off her, just grab the headboard for (god forgive me for saying this) leverage. This also provides a space so that she can play with your chest hair, or your nipples, or maybe even to play with her nipples for you to watch.