Hand Jobs 101

[dancingdoc2]

I am amazed that few new members look around the site before posting in order to learn what is on the site, and, how to use it. Both of your concerns have been addressed many many times in one form or another.

I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find even more information.

Kitty_kat69: Making love is not done by the numbers, i.e., do A, B, &, C, and D will result. Making love is not what we do to each other; it is what we do with and for each other in partnership. Explore and learn together.

It is not that mistakes happen, it is in how we recover and move on. When learning to ride a bike, did you ride down the sidewalk or driveway without wobbling and falling off? Same here. Having a good sense of humor about all this works wonders for timidness and lack of experience. Love and romance is serious business, however, you shouldn't take it so seriously that you do not enjoy yourself or become upset that things didn't quite go as planned. Get real! All of us want to be the best we can be, yet it is completely unrealistic to believe that this will happen by a wish and prayer.

How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?


ImpurePleasure: Both of you are correct. Each guy is different, however, my research ranks orgasmic intensity this way:
1.) Masturbation
2.) Hand job
{Vaginal intercourse)
3.) Oral
4.) "The Dynamic Duo" encompassing both a h/j and b/j together

Climaxes from vaginal stimulation tend to vary in intensity so these can move up and down the list by one number.

Male and female orgasms tend to be more intense when in the company of a partner with whom we have a strong emotional connection.

The probable reason your boyfriend is experiencing difficulty climaxing by hand is due to a lack of technique. Each of us masturbates in the same basic way for our particular gender, yet as we learn, we all settle on a method that is somewhat unique and individualistic. Without some coaching as explained in more than one article, along with verbal and non-verbal feedback, duplicating our partner's technique is chancy at best.

If he can masturbate, he can climax from your fingers. Helping him climax from both a h/j and b/j is the best most intense way for him to orgasm. Please go thru the articles for more on all this. I encourage the four of you and everybody else reading this thread to read each of the articles and to discuss what you have learned. Knowledge is empowering.

Teach each other, and learn together. All too often an inexperienced couple believe that talking or giving non-verbal feedback is somehow wrong. WRONG! Do not be like the blind leading the blind.

After the four of you have done some reading and discussing, please do not hesitate to ask questions.

[ladyrose86]

if you have lube, oil, or even use spit for a hand job then its not so bad, but just your hand and nothing else may not feel too good. at least that is the idea and thoughts my husband gives me

[dancingdoc2]

> if you have lube, oil, or even use spit for a hand job then its not so bad, but just your hand and nothing else may not feel too good. at least that is the idea and thoughts my husband gives me

Yup, I agree; although, by way of some clarification. Until the advent of the internet with its ability to locate and disseminate lots of information easily and rapidly, my guess is that most boys and young men up until the last decade did not use much if any lube until they were older and either experimented with it out of general curiosity, or, after they were in a relationship in which they were counseled to use it by an older wiser adult.

I wouldn't be surprised if young boys right out of puberty are using a lubricant some or much of the time during masturbation for two reasons: first, because the sensations they get from are much more intense; second, there is more variety when it comes to stroking. Clamping down and using a lot of pressure is easier, with less chance of causing friction burns and scabs; using little or no pressure and just grazing the skin offers different sensations than the other method.

If your husband masturbates in the usual way, dry, and it is and has been good for him, then the difference he refers to is when you take over. While women know how to stroke a penis, their technique is often unintentionally rough and jerky and not nearly as pleasurable because they have not been shown how best to accomplish the mission. This is where guidance plays an important part as does verbal and non-verbal feedback. There is an article on all this in the Index. Essentially, each of us should show our partner how we do it when home alone, then, take their hand and move it over a few sessions until s/he learns to mimic our unique and specific technique.

Please try the information in the article and see if this helps in your situation.

I hope this is of help. Got questions?

[Humble]

I think the need for lubrication is dependent on whether the man is circumcised or not. I think that uncircumcised men don't really need lubrication, since they can glide their foreskin over the glans and this essentially acts as natural lubrication.

[dancingdoc2]

There is a difference between "the need for lubrication" and the desire for lubrication and the benefits using it provides.

Using lube when masturbating opens up a whole new repertoire.

[mindeye2]

Im not sure where else to go for this question. hehe
I'd like to give my bf a hj/bj, butwhen i tried last night, he went soft, and wouldn't get hard again. Was kinda weird. he'll get hard when he's fingering me, but then it wont stay, and he couldnt get it up again.
Should we just flip the tables? or is there something else i can do?
and how sensitive is a penis anyway? I know they can be pretty sensitive, i was being to rough >> (still new to this stuff)
What i know = Lots of lube and cover teeth. as well as a few techniques i read about here on this site. help please, dont really know what im diong. lol lol lol

[roomier]

Your sweet mindeye2. What I would recommend (Now this is what turns me on) is while stroking it look at it and play with yourself too. He'll look at you and see your also turned on... That's what I find the key is. Both see the other turned on!!!

[mindeye2]

Thankx Roomier.
A bunch.
I'll deff. try it out, if we get the chance. lol.
Im mostly on this site just to edjucate myself. lol. they dont teach you enough in school . lmao. just about STD's, which are friggn nasty, lemme tell ya... XP

[maybebaby]

i am new to sex tbh i have only been having it for 2 months i waited til i was 20 before i had sex and i admit i love it my bf is easy to please hand job wise but he is funny about me giving bj he has let me and says he loves it but he also says he worries i might not like it and thinks i may be pretending to enjoy pleasing him because he likes it i have told him i do like it but he is still funny. he beleives that he is disrespecting me. It is because he came in my mouth once when he came to quick, i told him its alright as it wasnt on purpose, but he hasnt let ,e give it since as he doesnt want to cum in my mouth again accidentally as he is scared he will do it again. can anyone help? Btw he was a virgin too so can this contribute he is / was 21

[dancingdoc2]

I hope you will enjoy participating.

Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the Index, found at the top of the main screen. It contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people ask about. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find even more information.

There are articles that discuss the how-to's of Foreplay {h/j &/or b/j). Please read them and if you have questions, please do not hesitate to ask.