Blow-job Techniques 101

[i just fall into the meadow]

thats a damn shame. I think its pretty rude to get someone going and then not finish what you started. Even if it takes a while, you can always take a break and then go back...

And she should stop sucking and start actually sucking. aha.

[finewine]

How do guys feel about a woman sucking on it by pressing it to the roof of her mouth and at the same time moving the tongue up and down the back of the shaft? Try it and let me know?

[cowgirl]

Hi everyone! I am brand new here and like what I have read so far. I have a question and am wanting some advice please. How does a person get over their, not really a fear but something like it, of giving a bj. I was in a bad relationship once and was forced to give them by him. I would like to please my current boyfriend with a blowjob, but I am not sure how to get over my bad past any advice I know it sounds weird but all of this is true and i would like to be able to please my bf with a bj that he wants but I can't because of my past.

[lilly2279]

My best suggestion would be total communication with your current bf.

Tell him why you are a bit 'gunshy'. Tell him you would like to please him with a bj, but need his total word that he will not force you down on him or touch you unless you are totally comfortable. Maybe the first time, just play with some kissing and licking.

Work a little more in each time. don't try to do it all at once. He will understand, if he's a good guy and will love the fact that you are working up to giving him a great bj!

[finewine]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (cowgirl @ April 12 2005,18:39)]*How does a person get over their, not really a fear but something like it, of giving a bj. *I was in a bad relationship once and was forced to give them by him. *I would like to please my current boyfriend with a blowjob, but I am not sure how to get over my bad past * any advice *

I can't add much to Lilly's great suggestions.

But, having been in your position at one point in my life, this is how I got over it:

My issue was the forcing... As long as I was not forced, I enjoyed it; but any sense of forcing ended any pleasure or desire.
It was a control issue for me created from a bad experience as well; so as long as I have control of it, then it is easy and extremely enjoyable because I am the one giving it.

It is also a matter of trust. The more I trust, the easier it is for me to enjoy it; however, I still, to this day, am sometimes uncomfortable to have my head touched from behind to push my head deeper. If it's pulled with the hands on the side of my head that is different, but pushed from the back of my head really is troublesome for me. I just remind him not to push. Everything is ok because we are wanting to please each other.

[cowgirl]

Thanks for the suggestions. I don't know how to really explain the problem that I have had in the past. The past boyfriend demanded I give him a bj, He has a small one, he was also abusive. I trust my current bf and want to please him. Oh and another reason I want to be able to give him a bj is that he is with holding oral from me because of it (me not giving him oral) not fair but that is how he is handleing it, we have never talked about it. he will tease me about giving me oral but never does and hasn't for a very long time and we have lived together for 3 months. I think it has been 2 months or more. I guess I just need to explain the situation to him. thanks for the help any other suggestions will be appreciated

[demonbuttercup]

Yea totally discuss it w/ him. He probably thinks you just rather not be bothered w/ it or something. He shouldn't be w/holding oral from you anyways, but thats besides the point.

I would do like Lilly says and just be honest. Say you had a real bad experience with your ex and are trying to overcome it. Just take it slow and don't go for a full BJ first try. Baby steps!

I was hesitant to give my b/f a BJ at first b/c I was a virgin before that and a virgin at BJs. He totally understood my nervousness about not being good, or hurting him, etc. He was patient w/ me and just encouraged me when I was able to do a little at a time. I eventually was able to do more and more... so thats just how you'll have to approach it.
Good Luck!

[apostle-of-pints]

Ok, sorry this is a little off topic, but I didn't know where to put it and I'm getting desperate. My girlfriend and I have been together almost 2 years. We're supposed to be getting married in september. But the sex is awful. She was a virgin when we got together. And she seems not willing at all to learn. All she likes is mutual masturbation. She won't tell me what feels good or let me try anything new. She abhores the idea of blowjobs and is very nervous when i go down on her. She doesn't seem to like being penetrated much, either. She will only go for missionary, and doesn't get into it. I haven't had an orgasm from her in almost 6 months. I love her with all my heart, but I'm going nuts. I told her everything I'm feeling, but nothing is changing. I don't know what to do. Any advice anyone has will be more than appreciated.

[lilly2279]

Okay, so you have told her the sex is horrible and that you haven't had an orgasm with her in six months?

Hmmm, don't know how she would not just perk right up and start being a regular porn star in bed....

Okay, now I'll be serious instead of sarcastic. She was a virgin. Sex is still new to her. You're the first man to ever really see her naked and that she has done all of this with. It can be pretty freaking intimidating! ESPECIALLY if you are going on about how much sex sucks with her! Noone is just born knowing how to be a master in bed. You are gonig to have to change your approach.

Learn how to please her! How many orgasms have you given her? Do you know?? Give her pleasure and focus on her. Then SUGGEST little things she can do for you. You will have to ease her into this. Not make her feel inferior to the all the other women who have been able to please you. She already feels bad enough and is freaked out enough by it. You will need a lot of patience.

Loving her very much is a good start, but maybe some others on here can give you some slow approahces for a shy beginner to learn the ropes.

Once she gets that first really great orgasm, she should be ready for more and want to try new things.

[apostle-of-pints]

I know what you're saying, but when I talk to her about sex, I don't let her know how frustrated and upset it makes me. I know she's new at it. But we've been active for 2 years and there's been no improvement. I could handle it not being good if there was some movement forward. She doesn't seem to trust my guidance or suggestions, no matter how small or simple. Everything is "weird" to her. I try to understand this. But after so much time, it's starting to get to me. I try to be as tactful and understanding and supportive as I can. And I know that's a lot more than more men would be. and as far as "all the other women who've pleased me", there's only been 1 other girl I was with. I've been focused on her since we first started, doing whatever I know she likes. Almost every time we are together, she has an orgasm (usually by manual stimulation since she's nervous with oral and won't try any new postions for penetration). I'm just a little frustrated. I think she knows, but I'm not as blunt with her as I am here.

But I think you're right on a few things. Thanks for the outside perspective.