Lubrification Problems?

[Emotional]

Just wondering. My ex has a couple of problems into actually getting wet ... She still is, but just a little. This often resulting in her feeling pain during a long intercourse. Neither I, neither she have no ideas about where this comes from.

Oh and, another strange thing about it. She has no problems in getting wet while for example talking about sex on the net. But during an intercourse, she just can't.

Any ideas about the why and the how to go through this?

(P.S.: I know about all the gel stuff and all, please do not suggest those. What I'm trying to do here is to find out is there a way to help her getting wet by herself, naturally.)

[dancingdoc2]

How much time to the two of you spend fooling around and making out before ever getting to the foreplay stage? If you are not devoting at least half an hour to kissing, cuddling, necking, petting, etc., then you are not doing what is necessary to sufficiently arouse her.

Vaginal mucus will dry up over time, especially if ongoing stimulation is reduced.

This is not unlike the misguided misconception guys have nowadays about doing lots and Lots and LOTS of stroking in order to trigger an orgasm. WRONG. This is the why for all the making out that should be done, first and foremost.

[Emotional]

Well actually we didn't stop making out at all ...

[RedRoses]

This often resulting in her feeling pain during a long intercourse

Dear Emotional, this particular phrase got my interest. Maybe it is just too long for her? It is rather common that girls get sore after some time. Let's say; 10 minutes...

You say you don't stop making out, which is great! So perhaps all it takes is: after a few minutes get the penis out, snuggle up and perhaps talk about what you'll do next (if talking about sex gets her wet, why not use it ). Get into another position and start intercourse again. Or try another way of pleasing eachother in between by hand/oral. Iow: variation may solve your problem. And also: makes your sex a variety of good sensations

Her timeline of whenever intercourse becomes unpleasant, is personal. And it would be best if you'd have those breaks before it starts to hurt. Once it hurts, tissue has become irritated and she'll need more time to recover; which means you should actually stop instead of break...

Hope this is of any help. Good luck!


@Dancing Doc; I wanted to post a link to a sticky here, but I'm unable to find it... Is it just me or is there no sticky on how girls experience pain? And by that I mean; girls/woman who are already sexually active for a while. Maybe I've overlooked... If there truly is none, I think it would be a good idea to have a sticky on this, since it is one of the most frequent problems among women. And in fact: a problem a lot feel ashamed of, since it's something that is associated with those new to sex or those going into menopause...

[Brandye]

There is an entire industry of "personal lubricants." Meaning many women have this problem, especially during "lengthy" encounters. One technique that often helps is using an applicator for vaginal jelly to insert water based lubrication. With that amount deep within her, the supply usually does not dry up.

[Emotional]

Red Roses > I meant that talking about it on the net/phone gets her wet. But while we're making anything IRL, as hard as she can be exited, she just doesn't get wet enough ... But thanks for advice <3

Brandye > We do use the industrial lubricants. However, we're still trying to find a solution for her vagina to lubrificate naturally during intercourse ^^'

[Brandye]

Some women simply do not produce enough!!!!

[LustyLisa]

While I agree that natural lubrication is always better, I also insist on supplimenting my natural lubrication process when needed to avoid unnecessary pain. Womens secretions can vary during her monthly cycle and the copiousness of female secretions deminish as women age too. Making unpleasant and unnecesary judgements against lubricants shows how little you actually know about the human female's genitalia and you may even have unreasonable expections about your partner's or your own perfomance. Its far better to reach for the tube of lube before the friction causes her pain.
As for maximizing her own natural lubrication, you've identified that talking dirty on the phone or chatting up the web physicaly turns her on. Why not incorporate a little of that into your encounters? Call her up and get a real dirty conversation going, see if that helps. If she can identify certain behaviors, sents, activities, etc that help her become aroused, it will serve her well in the years to come, not to mention her partner. The weirdest things get me physically aroused, the sent of jasmine and greatfruit are powerful triggers for me. My husbands cologne and deoderant has a stimulating effect on my genitals too which I guess isn't so weird. The oddest arousing thing for me is newborns. This is a relatively new discovery for me and I can't help myself, but to me, newborns are the perfect example of love in the flesh whose presence in this world makes the world a better place. My husband and I are hoping newborns have the same effect on me when our children become parents! Whatever her triggers are, learn them and exploit them to the fullest extent possible.

[pinkFlames]

I found when I used to be on the Pill I couldn't lubricate enough to last during intercourse no matter how aroused I was. The solution in my case was for my partner to get a vasectomy.