She can't orgasm

[Sekcboi85]

OK, I have read a lot of the threads about females and I know that not all can orgasm from vaginal sex alone, and some can't orgasm at all. My question is similar to some asked in previous threads but I am looking for more of a "personal touch."

First off, as mentioned in another thread, my girlfriend has been through a lot in life. She was raised by her grandmother because her mother had her at age 16. Her father never met her until she was 16 and when they finally met, he raped her. Not just once, but a few times. So it isn't hard to see why she has might have trouble reaching orgasm after going through such things. However, she has told me, that she can only reach orgasm's when she masturbates with a vibrator or shower head. She doesn't reach orgasm through normal masturbation or through oral sex, and has only reached orgasm through vaginal intercourse a handful of times and only when she is on top and there is role play. By role play, I mean she is the aggressor and the guy acts like a victim who is getting raped by her. Apparently it works because the 1 time we tried it, she came really fast.

So my question is, what can I do to get her to orgasm from other scenarios. I know their are books that are recommended that can help her get to know her body better. And I am thinking that some added stimulation like a sex toy or cock ring with a vibrator might help.

She assures me that she is happy with everything and she doesn't need to orgasm to enjoy sex, but it still sucks to know that I can't give that to her. Especially when I know she masturbates a few times a week with a vibrator/shower and reaches orgasm.

Advice anyone?

P.S. - I know I am way too analytical about things and too critical sometimes.

[lnt1103]

My first suggestion is going to be combinations of sensations, if you're not already doing so. Maybe I'm being Captain Obvious's Wife right now, but if all vaginal is for you two is thrusting, you can build on that with things like clit/breast play at the same time. Remember that while you're inside her, there are still 3 other tools at your disposal.

Works like a charm on me.

[Brandye]

A quarter of all women never experience orgasm. This is often related to past sexual abuse. Proper professional counselling will do much more to help her than anything that you can do technique-wise.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Counseling is required here, esp. since she is re-enacting the past rape in order to get off. That means she still has issues with what happened. Why not? She was deeply betrayed by someone who should have made her protection and happiness his first priority. Issues should be expected.

What she's doing is doing to the guy beneath her what her father did to her.

Do you see?

Rape is not about sex - it is about POWER and someone treating you like a THING rather than as a person. She's trying to get her own back.

Understandable but not good.

[Sekcboi85]

Yeah, that is understandable but not so much a good thing. I talked to her about counseling last night actually and to my surprise, she was very receptive to the idea. I guess that is the next step. I really hope it can help her sort out some of the wrongs in her life. She deserves a bright future and that stuff in her past is holding her back.

OK, thanks everyone.