Never had an orgasm?

[Blaze in time]

I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and she said she had never had an orgasm, I now kinda feel like I am insufficant to do the job, while Im new to sex, don't know all the ropes I feel kinda defeated. What should I do, I know sex isn't as good if your trying to force something like that out of your partner.
I did notice that when I'm giving her oral, she kinda....how's the best was to put it, he leg's tend to shake, is that good, bad or normal? And I get her to a certain point where she will push my head away or if I'm using my fingers will push away my hand,she says it tickles...

Any advise would be much appriciated.

Thanks.

[CleverName]

Not all women are able to reach orgasm. There are a bunch of threads on this if you look around.

How long has your gf been sexually active?

[Blaze in time]

We both lost it in may, to each other so since may.

[Brandye]

How long did it take you to learn to ride a bicycle? Sex is much more complicated than that.

[dancingdoc2]

I hope you will enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles that discuss the most common questions and concerns people have. If you click on the site's Home page, you will find even more information.

Now, to help you, specifically. As a play on your screen name, you definitely have blazed in here in the nick of time:

Originally Posted by Blaze in time

I was talking to my girlfriend the other day and she said she had never had an orgasm, I now kinda feel like I am insufficant to do the job, while Im new to sex, don't know all the ropes I feel kinda defeated. What should I do, I know sex isn't as good if your trying to force something like that out of your partner.

First things first. Women and orgasms have been discussed twice in as many days. Please look around for more. You can click on my name and look at my most recent replies to locate them. Please go to the Index and read the articles on the female "O", including this one:

For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

What is important to know and understand is that we do not give orgasms away. Each one of us is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve them. This means that she must first learn how to masturbate and be able to do so repeatedly and reliably. Once she has bridged this gap, then she can show you how to touch her in ways that will bring her to a climax. Providing feedback on how she is responding is also key and this is also explained in greater detail in one of the articles.

Women are not driven to learn how to masturbate as we are. They often learn much later if at all. When she does begin learning how it often requires a concerted effort. So let her read the article, above, and begin practicing. Be patient, this is a process that might go quickly or take a few weeks depending upon how often she practices.

I did notice that when I'm giving her oral, she kinda....how's the best was to put it, her leg's tend to shake, is that good, bad or normal?

It is good. It is normal. Not everybody does it or does it all of the time.
You may find down the road that the same thing will happen to you as you become stimulated and aroused much more in her presence than when you are home alone.

And I get her to a certain point where she will push my head away or if I'm using my fingers will push away my hand,she says it tickles...

This is an indication of becoming very very aroused. To compensate for the ticklishness, if this happens on her body, like her abdomen, etc., simply apply a bit more pressure. If it happens while you are there at her Vulva, then work with the clitoris indirectly. You can do this by folding the labia over it and massaging the clitoris thru them. You can also stimulate the clitoris indirectly by rubbing and tugging on the labia. Doing so will transfer sensations with less intensity.

Any advise would be much appriciated.

Thanks.

I recommend that the two of you read all of the articles listed in the Index and more than once. You can do this together or individually. Later, discuss the information you have acquired. Knowledge is empowering.

I hope this is of help. Got questions? If so, do not hesitate to ask.

[Blaze in time]

I'll keep all this in mind.thanks

[Blaze in time]

I got another question, once recntly while having sex, we don't have sex a lot becuase I don't want to be in the relationship where sex is the only Thing that our relationship is about.... Sorry I felt like I needed to clarify that point just incase, but we were having sex and while I was at work on her...don't know how the best way to say that is. I noticed all of a suddedn she got really tight, like it was kinda hard to pull or push in and out,what is that an indecator of?

[Brandye]

"at work on her." Interesting. Any man "at work" on me would get a tightness that would pull it out by the roots.

When did this occur? It really makes a difference. If prior to penetration, it could be a condition known as secondary vaginismus; if after you were being held comfortably in place, she could be reacting to something else - like your attitude showing through. Or maybe she was squeezing to increase your pleasure. Or, maybe she simply dried up - that happens to most of us sat one time or another. Talk to her, for heaven's sake, she may tell you something important.

[Blaze in time]

I suppose I could have said that slightly better,when I was on top of her.....Why would she dry up?
So your saying she may not say it but her body is trying to say something?

[dancingdoc2]

More than likely the dryness comes from a lack of lubrication, natural or artificial. The cause could be that you are inside stroking away forever and she looses some of her arousal. This is another reason why intercourse should not last longer than ten minutes or so. Go back and continue the fondling and making out in order to maintain her high level of arousal.

It may be that she is wet enough, yet the mucus has been rubbed away from the vaginal opening. The fix, stop, finger her and redistribute her "juices".

If necessary, have a bottle of lube handy. As Brandye is quick to remind people--this is why these products exist--or words to that effect.

Also, if she has developed a strong set of PC muscles and elects to clamp down on your penis, this could very easily make things "tight".