Introducing a Toy During Sex

[bWg]

I wanted to spice things up a bit in bed for my girlfriend and thought maybe a toy would do the trick. I bought a simple, waterproof vibrator. I want to surprise her with it, during foreplay.

I'm looking for a second opinion, would this be a bad idea? Would there be a better way to introduce it?

Thanks ahead of time.

[frisky_fox]

Hi,

i personally wood suggest it 2 her just b4 foreplay and c how it goes from there.

please let me no as was curious abwt doing the same.

[lnt1103]

Fox, please type in English instead of whatever incredibly annoying slang you're using.

bWg, have you two talked about toys at all in the past? If not, I would highly suggest NOT springing it on her in the heat of the moment. It's often better to discuss new sexual concepts at a moment when sex is not on the table. This gives both sides time to process. You could start it with a 'fantasies' discussion.

If you two HAVE already discussed it and you know she's interested, suggest it during foreplay and go for it.

[funinthesun]

I'd go with Int's suggestion. Also, if you want to "spice things up" - learn more, practice it, then surprise her with your new skills! Do you want the reason that she's excited to hop into bed with you to be "I get an orgasm easily" or "This man man blows my mind!!!" Heck, you don't even need to surprise her. Just let her know that you're not letting her out of the room until she can't speak.



Also, I can only hope that the increased processor speed and availability of 'smart phones' such as the iPhone allows finger typing recognition to advance to the point that tXt$p3@K disappears.

[bWg]

We haven't ever discussed it, but I've always been sort of domineering in the bedroom. So far as I can tell, that turns on a girl as much as anything. I'm not saying I force anything, I'm just saying that I take charge a bit.

I'd like to surprise her with it, but I suppose you guys are right in that I shouldn't spring it on her out of the blue. I've no idea how I would bring it up, though. Maybe after a bit of foreplay, bring it out and see what she has to say about it?

Any ideas would be appreciated.

[lnt1103]

Do you guys ever talk, away from the bedroom, about ideas for IN the bedroom? "I've always had this fantasy....Your turn-tell me one of your fantasies you've never shared with me before." or "Have you ever wondered/thought about....?"

The reason I suggest having the conversation when sex is NOT on the table, is that in the moment, either she could feel pressured and go along even though she's got no clue how she feels about it, and/or if she's just not into it, it could totally kill the heat. However, it very well could totally work, too, it depends on her.

Moving from one bodily technique to another without notice is one thing. Adding an apparatus to the mix can sometimes be a horse of another color.

[Brandye]

I have never encountered a toy, with men or with women, that spices things up more than imaginative use of natural resources. Look around here for ideas or get a copy of the Joy of Sex - a lifetime of ideas.

[bWg]

Int- We talk about each others' preferences and whatnot, but we haven't talked about adding different aspects completely. I suppose I could talk to her about it, but I really think she might like it as a surprise. I guess I'll just have to see what happens and report back.

Brandye- I'll look around on the forum more, but it's a bit convoluted. Are there any specific threads that you have in mind that you could direct me to? If not, maybe one or two ideas that you really enjoyed?

[lnt1103]

You must decide, for know her better than I. Personally, I'd rather not have a vibe sprung on me. It could be as simple as, in one of your preference conversations, 'have you ever used/thought about a vibe?' but not tell her you actually have one, and if she's into it, THEN spring it on her.

Again though, this is just my own personal reaction. Go based on your understanding of her.

[bWg]

I'll see what I can think of and report back, thanks for the help.