Multiple Orgasms for women

[YHeloThar]

I'm wondering if there's something wrong with me or what. But whenever I'm with a girl she gets off and then doesn't want to keep going anymore than is required for me to get off quickly.

I've been with my current girlfriend for quite a long time and this is definitely the case. I discussed it with a few guys and they mostly just claimed that it was me that was getting off too fast and that I should be able to just keep going for an hour and she'd just keep coming as I went... I don't really trust their judgement. I feel like I'm more qualified than them on girls but I feel like I might be lacking in this department.

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by familiarizing yourself with the FAQs, the Posting Guidelines section, and especially the Index, all found at the top of the main screen. Additional information can be found off the site's Home page. The Index contains links to helpful informative insightful, as well as how-to articles. There is one or more that pertain to the issue of multiple orgasms.

I am about to begin a meeting so will let you read and then get back to you with specifics, later.

-doc

I

[YHeloThar]

I tried to find them first, I just saw that the clitoris oversensitivity business is just temporary (how temporary though?). Nothing really else.

Another side thing I have, I don't know if this is a problem or what, but my girlfriend doesn't like me manually stimulating her anymore. She used to be really into it and always wanted me to be the one doing it, said she loved how good my fingers felt. This has changed and she doesn't like me doing it anymore, I asked her why but she says she's not sure, just that it feels too direct now when I do it.

[LustyLisa]

How does your glans ( the head of your penis ) feel after orgasm? Sensitive isn't it? Once you've orgasmed don't you just want to collapse in a sweatty-heavy breathing heap of quivering flesh? You partner is no differant. A woman's orgasm is similar to a man's but we supposedly don't have a refractory period between orgasms as is required by men to reload so to speak and yes, women are "capable" of multiples during the same encounter but it takes knowledge on how a womans genitals feel after orgasm. You need to allow her a few minutes to catch her breath and let her orgasm settle down, it only takes me 2-3 minutes and then we will do positions, like doggy or all the way down on my stomach that doesn't give my clitoral area any stimulation. We are still having intercourse but since my clitorus isn't being stimulated it's more comfortable. Once I've had one oragsm, I'm likely to have another one as long as there is some disruption in the kind of stimulation that makes me orgasm in between. Continueing clitoral stimulation immediately after my orgasm is excruiciatingly painful and will prevent me from orgasming any more that session and has even caused pain for days afterwards, not sexy and certainly makes me less likely to want to have sex again at all for several days. If your partner is so inclined, see if she will fellate you during the "intermission" or find a position that you can continue you be stimulated while she gets less and more comfortable stimulation while she recovers from her orgasm. The only way a woman can acheive multiple orgasms is change things up during the session, allowing for continued but differant sensations then resumming what gets her off after she's ready to try for another. Not all women want more than one, especially in her early years, it takes allot of both physical and mental work to make your body respond again especailly until she learns the triggers that will help her reach for a 2nd or 3rd orgasm. Another thing most men don't think about is that each subsequent orgasm, they usually ( for me ) get weaker and much less intense but takes just as much and sometimes more work and effort to get there, you just eventually get over stimulated and won't be able to have another one regardless of what you do. Have you ever tried to masterbate to ejaculation then immediatly get hard and masterbate to ejaculation within a few minutes? Can you even touch your own glans after you've ejaculated? My husband can't and I don't think you can either. Just keep that in mind when you expect her to keep going as if nothing happened!

[YHeloThar]

Thanks for that detailed response. That's a good idea going from behind there to keep it going. I dunno I just felt like I might be a shitty lover possibly because I almost never cause multiple orgasms. But i've never had any complaints and I do hear a lot of gossip from girls afterwards being as I am friends with a large circle of them and I've only ever heard good gossip about my abilities in bed. Is it possible that girls don't actually want to have multiple orgasms?

When I think about it further, if a girl is satisfied after 1 then I'm fine just finishing and being done with it. Afterall I don't particularly feel like going forever, once I have got off I don't really want to go again for an hour or two although I can if I need to.

Most of my friends are in their early 20s though, so maybe they just haven't reached the point where they expect or want multiple orgasms? Should I be concerned about this and looking to improve my technique?

[EvilEvilKitten]

Okay, here's the scoop - from a multi-orgasmic woman btw -

EVERY woman is capable of multiple orgasms IF SHE WANTS TO BE because it takes some doing.

1. She must be relaxed and completely aroused as well as in tune with her sexuality.

2. She must have a competent sex partner or at least one with some major sexual skills.

Rarely will you find either of these among teenagers or 20-something's.

For #1. Finding, reading, and then doing the sticky post entitled The Program will help accomplish this but she has to trust you and desire you. Trusting and desiring you is something no one can help you with. No, she doesn't have to love you or like you - even knowing your name is irrelevant actually. But she does have to trust that you will not harm her.

Sensitivity lasts for as long as it takes - but only once. Once you're through it, you're good for life. It may require several tries but following The Program is your best bet.

#2 Requires Learning one skill whose worth is beyond all others - learning to 'listen' to a woman's body. Understanding her physical responses and what they mean and how to elict, act upon, and respond to her body - a skill that is priceless! Doing BODY WORSHIP to her will teach you all your need to know. There's a sticky post about this too.

Knowing what to do with what you've got comes next. The Program and Body Worship will give you the basics of what to do where when and with what - all you have to do is to practice, practice, practice.

'Changing it up' during the session is irrelevant because once she's in 'the groove' she's going to stay there, and stay there, and stay there, for as long as he, and maybe the next man, can hold out. The orgasms just keep rolling through, coming and going and coming and going - aaah! - it is Nirvana, I can tell you! Riding him for 45 to 60 minutes? No problem! Grit your teeth guys and hang in there!

NOTE: it is NOT just the clitoris!!! Every woman has 4 hotspots. You should know how to stimulate ALL of them! Quit trying to cheat, dammit! You move from the clitoris to the G-Spot then to the posterior fornix and then back to the clitoris and then maybe moving to the anterior fornix back to the posterior fornix back to the G- Spot - you never go for the same area twice - you move gracefully from one hotspot to the other and around you go. You don't even have to change position from the usual male superior, "missionary", position to do it.

If she prefers female superior, 'cowgirl', fine - she can stimulate what she wants when she wants - all you have to do is lie there and help by doing as you're told. From behind, doggy, isn't as good as it moves the clitoris out of play without a reach around or self play and that can be distracting. I generally save that position for last when I want him to orgasm and then I machine him to make sure he does orgasm since by the time I'm through with him, he's very, very tired.

Girls will NOT tell you anything EVER, guy. They will lie "It was great!" right to your face - because they're being "nice", because they want to "stay friends", because they do not want any "drama", because they want you to get "off her back", and because they haven't got a clue about how superb sex can really be so they don't actually know if it was good, bad, or indifferent "I could have had a V8" sex. One clue is when they ask you, or tell you, to stop doing something. When she declines something sexual, it means "you need to get better at doing that."

Women, on the other hand, DO know what great sex is - and they expect you to be competent. Women will tell you precisely what to do when how and with what. Those women who enjoy messing about with younger males call it "coaching". If they're nice women, they do it gently so as to not bruise his ego. If they're dominatrices, they just tell him and let him deal with any ego-bruising on his own time.

Some females do not want to orgasm at all. These women, who I find very odd, do this for several reasons:
-they do not enjoy sex
-they do not like him so they refuse to 'reward' his efforts
-they do not want to lose control and resent their body/repress their sexuality
-there is a medical issue somewhere that they do not want to face
-they do not want their bf's to think they're whores so they repress their sexuality
-they think that they'd be giving it away if there's no marriage in the immediate future

take your pick of the above.

Instead of being satisifed by her desiring only one orgasm, you should be taking it as an insult. Think of it as her not just declining to be manually stimulated, 'fingered', but as her declining to do ANYHING more with you at all.

Got it?

[cico187]

Originally Posted by LustyLisa

Have you ever tried to masterbate to ejaculation then immediatly get hard and masterbate to ejaculation within a few minutes? Can you even touch your own glans after you've ejaculated? My husband can't and I don't think you can either. Just keep that in mind when you expect her to keep going as if nothing happened!

I kinda have. Ive masterbated and right after if I become aroused again I will masterbate again all in a 5 minute time period...IDK if thats normal or not but thats just me...

[YHeloThar]

Originally Posted by EvilEvilKitten

Okay, here's the scoop - from a multi-orgasmic woman btw -

EVERY woman is capable of multiple orgasms IF SHE WANTS TO BE because it takes some doing.

1. She must be relaxed and completely aroused as well as in tune with her sexuality.

2. She must have a competent sex partner or at least one with some major sexual skills.

Rarely will you find either of these among teenagers or 20-something's.

For #1. Finding, reading, and then doing the sticky post entitled The Program will help accomplish this but she has to trust you and desire you. Trusting and desiring you is something no one can help you with. No, she doesn't have to love you or like you - even knowing your name is irrelevant actually. But she does have to trust that you will not harm her.

Sensitivity lasts for as long as it takes - but only once. Once you're through it, you're good for life. It may require several tries but following The Program is your best bet.

#2 Requires Learning one skill whose worth is beyond all others - learning to 'listen' to a woman's body. Understanding her physical responses and what they mean and how to elict, act upon, and respond to her body - a skill that is priceless! Doing BODY WORSHIP to her will teach you all your need to know. There's a sticky post about this too.

Knowing what to do with what you've got comes next. The Program and Body Worship will give you the basics of what to do where when and with what - all you have to do is to practice, practice, practice.

'Changing it up' during the session is irrelevant because once she's in 'the groove' she's going to stay there, and stay there, and stay there, for as long as he, and maybe the next man, can hold out. The orgasms just keep rolling through, coming and going and coming and going - aaah! - it is Nirvana, I can tell you! Riding him for 45 to 60 minutes? No problem! Grit your teeth guys and hang in there!

NOTE: it is NOT just the clitoris!!! Every woman has 4 hotspots. You should know how to stimulate ALL of them! Quit trying to cheat, dammit! You move from the clitoris to the G-Spot then to the posterior fornix and then back to the clitoris and then maybe moving to the anterior fornix back to the posterior fornix back to the G- Spot - you never go for the same area twice - you move gracefully from one hotspot to the other and around you go. You don't even have to change position from the usual male superior, "missionary", position to do it.

If she prefers female superior, 'cowgirl', fine - she can stimulate what she wants when she wants - all you have to do is lie there and help by doing as you're told. From behind, doggy, isn't as good as it moves the clitoris out of play without a reach around or self play and that can be distracting. I generally save that position for last when I want him to orgasm and then I machine him to make sure he does orgasm since by the time I'm through with him, he's very, very tired.

Girls will NOT tell you anything EVER, guy. They will lie "It was great!" right to your face - because they're being "nice", because they want to "stay friends", because they do not want any "drama", because they want you to get "off her back", and because they haven't got a clue about how superb sex can really be so they don't actually know if it was good, bad, or indifferent "I could have had a V8" sex. One clue is when they ask you, or tell you, to stop doing something. When she declines something sexual, it means "you need to get better at doing that."

Women, on the other hand, DO know what great sex is - and they expect you to be competent. Women will tell you precisely what to do when how and with what. Those women who enjoy messing about with younger males call it "coaching". If they're nice women, they do it gently so as to not bruise his ego. If they're dominatrices, they just tell him and let him deal with any ego-bruising on his own time.

Some females do not want to orgasm at all. These women, who I find very odd, do this for several reasons:
-they do not enjoy sex
-they do not like him so they refuse to 'reward' his efforts
-they do not want to lose control and resent their body/repress their sexuality
-there is a medical issue somewhere that they do not want to face
-they do not want their bf's to think they're whores so they repress their sexuality
-they think that they'd be giving it away if there's no marriage in the immediate future

take your pick of the above.

Instead of being satisifed by her desiring only one orgasm, you should be taking it as an insult. Think of it as her not just declining to be manually stimulated, 'fingered', but as her declining to do ANYHING more with you at all.

Got it?

Thanks, I'm gonna study those two and let you know where I am. I've been with my girlfriend for years and she has a better opinion of my not ever hurting her than I do. I have noticed though that her sexual desire for me seems to go up a lot if we haven't had sex in a week or so, so maybe I have to really work on that somewhere (maybe get good at those other two? or is it something else).

[weasel]

ok, most women don't want to go for hours of even an hour, unless it's a specal occasion, but foy your usual sex they want around 20-30 minutes of sex, if she doesn't want multible orgasms then don't try to force her she is probably just fine that she is having one, some women can't even get that. as long as both of you are happy don't worry about it

[EvilEvilKitten]

LOL

Unfortunately most women don't want hours of sex mainly for two reasons:

1. sexual inhibitions
2. poor performance

Few people make a study of sex and they do not consider or discuss 'how-to' hence the need for this forum. They do not practice enough. They think since it comes 'naturally' they can just pick it up as they go along.

Wrong.

Just an unconsidered life isn't worth living so too is an unconsidered sex life not worth having.