Sex problems with my girlfriend

[lostinsex]

Alright, I've got two questions concerning my girlfriend who I've been dating for almost 4 years.


1) I've never given her an orgasm.
She says she doesn't care. I care a lot about it. It's driven me crazy for-fucking-ever. She was my first and I was hers too. The only way she can ever have an orgasm is when she's on top, and when she is, it's a massive workout.
When fingering her, she'll say it feels really good but eventually her clit becomes "too sensitive" and she'll start laughing as if it tickled. I've tried fingering her g-spot but can't go fast enough to get her up to the actual orgasm. I can definately hit her g-spot during sex (she gets really wet and starts squirming), but she'll say she needs to pee or it's "too much" and makes me stop (even though the internet says not to.........)
Eating her out typically doesn't even go that well. I'll lick her clit and everything but it never gets her anywhere close to an orgasm. "It feels good, just not THAT kind of good."
I feel like I've run out of options too. She can't even make herself orgasm through masturbation. It's just driving me crazy that I can't. I feel like there's some secret I'm missing. Anyone?



2) I want to stop using condoms.
She's been on the pill since before we started dating. I feel like condoms are genearlly pointless and the pill is completely effective. She never forgets to take it. You could almost say I have a fetish for cumming inside her. She just not comfortable. For the first few months we were having sex, we didn't use condoms, and then she started insisting.
I know it's a little selfish, and if here is no way to make her comfortable with it, then I won't do it. Anyone have any experience at getting them "more comfortable" with the idea of not using a condom?

[llblovesejw]

Yeah, I was comfortable not using a condom. Then, hey, I got pregnant. Unless you are ready, it's not worth it bro.

[Brandye]

Of 100 normally sexually active women on the pill for a year, three will become pregnant. She is at risk, not you. The woman makes this call.

There could be a relationship between your g/f's comfort with sex, in general, and her difficulty with orgasm. Given that there is a history of four or more years, there is likely nothing you can do except be supportive. Addressing this issue will require professional intervention. She can talk to her gyn about referral to a sex therapist.

[EvilEvilKitten]

lostinsex - here's the scoop.

SHE is responsible for her own orgasms, all you do is assist. Since she evidently has problems with orgasming - there are 3 questions you should ask her:

1. has she ever masturbated by herself all the way to orgasm?
2. was she ever abused?
3. what is her attitude toward sex only for pleasure ?

Sex begins in the brain and until she accepts and then embraces her sexuality, orgasms will be hard to come by. (excepting medical issues)

Next, you could try The Program - a sticky post found elsewhere on this site. It might work by relaxing while arousing her. BTW the "too sensitive" is a false signal, we have discussed this at length before, where the brain, unused to the stimulation misinterprets the stimuli as 'pain'. How to get over it is to relax through it and just let it ride - once gone through - she will never have this "sensitivity" again - only pleasure.

ALWAYS wear condoms - it is extremely unfair and caddish to expect her to bear all of the burdens of safe sex while you get off scot-free. She's pumping herself full of hormones and yet, you're not man enough to wear a condom? Excuse me?

[weasel]

Maybe she doesn't know how to have an orgasm from fingering, and that is something she will have to find out by masturbating, there is also a chance that she can't have an orgasm by other means. And Brandye is right, she is the one who will get pregnant, she will have to deal with the physical and emotional trials of pregnancy. And although I hope you would stay with her, for 9 months she will be going through hell and there is very little you can do to change that besides getting an abortion, but that is still a major decision. My girlfriend is going to get on birth control soon and she has made it perfectly clear that I will need to wear a condom. Hell I’ll probably use spermicidal lube to have a three tier defense against pregnancy. But if you still feel so insistent to not wear a condom, replace it with another form, such as spermicidal lube, the sponge, a diaphragm is a choice but that would be hard to explain to her parents, if they are unaware that you and she are sexually active.

[dancingdoc2]

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How Do I Get Him/Her to Orgasm From a Hand/Blow Job?

What to do when the Clitoris becomes too sensitive

For Women Only- Help! Why Can't He Make Me Orgasm?

The Anatomy of the Female "O"

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