getting her to orgasm

[zippyfoo]

Hi

My girlfriend and I masturbate each other. But I'm struggling to get her to come. She has tried doing it to herself a few times but wasn't aroused enough.

And tips? I've tried different techniques and she gets close, but it never works. I've asked her to relax and not try too hard, but she struggles with that.

[dancingdoc2]

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating.

Yes, I have some suggestions. The first is to look at the Index found at the top of the main screen. You will find more than one article on female orgasms that the two of you should read and understand.

Second, we do not give orgasms away, all any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve hers/his. Now, having said that, in order for her to climax at your hand she first needs to learn how to masturbate. Once she has connected the nerves in the genitals with the pleasure center of the brain and knows what stimulation is required, and can repeat this reliably, she can then guide you in what to do. While you read the articles, please take note of the importance of providing feedback.

[zippyfoo]

She has tried masturbation but can't get aroused enough. She gets move aroused with I help her. Should she just try and try and try again to masturbate?

[dancingdoc2]

Whereas boys pretty much learn to masturbate as a natural process, girls learn later and have to work harder at it. There is an article listed in the Index on this.

The answer is to encourage her to practice and practice again, and, again....

Of course the two of you can continue to make out and express the love you have for each other and just not make her climax a big deal. Some women are not able to climax and enjoy making love. She probably won't know until she devotes more time and attention to connecting the proverbial dots--meaning, connecting the nerves in the genitals with the brain. This requires a concerted conscious effort that is not something boys have had to contend with.

So, encourage her to practice masturbating when she is home, relaxed, with no fear of being interrupted. This can be any time during the day, although, perhaps the morning before getting up or just after a relaxing bath/shower when going to bed. She has to learn to caress herself all over, learning what feels good and then repeating these. The skin is a person's largest sex organ. As she caresses body all over, she might want to develop a fantasy in which to play in her mind. Whether she does or not, she should probably only approach her genitals after she has become somewhat aroused.

Nobody becomes as aroused alone as we do when in the company of a partner. If she does not become very aroused, this may be a benchmark she is misinterpreting, expecting to be as turned on as she is when you are there. What is important is that she continue to move forward noting the feelings and sensations that feel good and then stringing them together to build her arousal and sexual tension. As she learns what feels good, she can then repeat these the next time and so on and on. This learning process may take many many attempts over a few weeks.