How Bad Does Popping Her Cherry Hurt Her??

[beanershot2007]

ok so me and this girl wanna bang and my friend said "just don't pop her cherry" and i've never heard that before so i asked wat it was and he explained that it is a peice of skin that breaks eventually but it bleeds alot and it hurts her so use a dildo first.

ok 1. i can't get a dildo and i doubt she has 1 and

2. i don't wanna be the 1 to pop her cherry and she thinks i fucked up or sumthin or i don't wanna hurt her cuz then everything will go down the toilet from there.

does it hurt her alot?

if she jacked off before would she already have popped it?

will she be able 2 get back 2 sex after her cherry pops?

i have 2 many questions bout this shit. i like her and i want 2 give her an orgasim her first time just so shell want 2 do it again and so she'll feel amazing her first time wit me but this cherry popping stuff is gettin in the way.

wat do i do?

plz i need a lesson bout her cherry popping and quick

[goof'schik]

Popping her cherry is a phrase used by some and it basically means taking her virginity. The cherry being her hymen.
It is hard to say how much pain she will feel. Some women have a little discomfort while some feel much more than that. This pain will subside, it may take a few days.
There are numerous threads and stickys about your first time and you should read those before proceding. Tips for positions and procautions that should be taken both for pregnancy and contracting or spreading of a std will be on those.

[beanershot2007]

i read most of them and they're all bout "u don't know wat popping her cherry means?" or "it will break at the entering of the vagina" but none say how much it will hurt her or if she masterbates it will pop it, sum mention masturbating and cherry but they dont say if masturbating will pop it, i'm just confused and kinda of let down because sum posts don't get 2 wat i want 2 know so i just decided 2 post 1 wit my problems

[thefeelingoffeelingunique]

How much it hurts depends on the person. Everyone will feel different the first time. And making it feel great on her first time isnt a realistic goal. The first few times is more for getting used to things. If you want to make her happy then just be gental and patient. And 'popping the cherry' just means losing her virginity. If you are going to have sex, her hymen 'cherry' will break eventually, if it hasnt already broken. and yes. she will be able to have sex after it 'pops.' And if she thinks you fucked up if it breaks then she doesnt know enough about her own body

[goof'schik]

Go to the forum 'new to sex' read the sticky's there.

[raez]

You should start by fingering her gently before trying to penetrate with your penis, and try going down on each other, whatever you are both comfortable with. The longer the foreplay, the more relaxed and lubricated she will be, and the less pain it will cause. Just be gentle and slow with her, having lube on hand wouldn't be a bad idea either. Don't worry about trying to make her orgasm, chances are she won't, especially from penetration. but that doesn't mean she won't enjoy it or not want it again. The emotional experience of sex can be just as good as the physical, and the physical can be very good even without orgasm.

And just because these things are a pet peeve of mine...don't go around saying "i want to 'bang' her" or using the phrase "pop her cherry". Its juvenile and the kind of things frat boys say whilst swigging back cheap beer, slapping girls on the ass and giving each other high fives. Not impressive.. so unless its part of "dirty talk" between you and a partner and its clear she isn't offended by this, just don't do it. That alone will put you a step ahead of most other guys your age no doubt.

[EvilEvilKitten]

duh well ok me a lout 'cause like ya no dis da gurl wanna
It is "My girlfriend and I.." - you ALWAYS put the other person first. English is a superb language, use it.
And everything you asked was previously answered in the other threads on this topic.

[lnt1103]

Yeah, this is a computer screen, not a text message. You don't have a character limit, so the alpha-numeric is unnecessary (and kind of annoying in my own opinion). Your wording and expressions betray your maturity level and it makes me wonder if you're ready for this with her. You're definitely not yet educated enough for it.

[goof'schik]

Beanershot2007, knowing nothing about you, other than you sound very young, intercourse is something that should always be taken seriously. Spin the bottle is for kids.

[dancingdoc2]

and that is "lots of foreplay".

It is not all about the "foreplay". Making out has all to do with everything that leads up to this part of the activity. These steps are "Necking", "Petting", and "Heavy Petting".

* Necking--is introductory meaning kisses and caressing above the shoulders
* Petting--is more intimate and involves all of the above, moving on to the rest of your bodies with clothes on and excluding the breasts and genitals (erogenous zones)
* Heavy Petting--is much more intimate and begins by doing all the things above plus starting to undo or unfasten clothes yet not necessarily removing them. All this is inclusive and progresses in ever increasing and bold steps.
* Foreplay--primarily concerns genital and breast stimulation yet includes all of the above as well.

While one or more of these stages can be cursory, usually plenty of time and attention are given to each unless it is a couple's desire to have a "Quickie". So, instead of focusing on "lots of Foreplay", focus on "lots of all of the above", first and foremost. Devote no less than half an hour to all the kissing, cuddling, caressing, and fondling, before ever getting to the Foreplay. It is from all these activities that you get each other all warm and tingly, breathing hard, perspiring, with anticipation and excitement running high.

> ok 1. i can't get a dildo

A "dildo" is a toy. If you do not have access to a commercial product, very good homemade toys can be any object from a carrot stick, English cucumber, candle stick, screwdriver/etc. handle, long neck jar--whatever. Just make sure the item does not have sharp edges or is otherwise dangerous.

> 2. i don't wanna be the 1 to pop her cherry

Then do not have intercourse. You can experience much more physical pleasure from a good hand job and/or blow job than from intercourse--that has more to do with pleasing and uniting the psyches and getting closer emotionally.

> ...and she thinks i fucked up or sumthin or i don't wanna hurt her cuz then everything will go down the toilet from there.

If you do not want to hurt her, do not have intercourse. The likelihood is that if the Hymen has not eroded away over the years, there will be some discomfort. How much depends upon her tolerance for pain, how thick the membrane, and how nervous she is. It also depends upon whether you poke, prod, or jab her with your finger or penis or dildo--or whether you use gentle pressure against the side of it.

Nothing will necessarily go down the drain from there. Realistically, a couple's first time or two or three may not go smoothly and as desired or expected. Why? Because no matter how much experience one or both of you may have, there is always a new square one for each new relationship. Explore and learn together and do not be all that self critical.

> if she jacked off before would she already have popped it?

Maybe yes, maybe no. More likely if she has been physically active as a child and teen, normal activities will more than likely cause the hymen to erode, although, this is not a given.

Many girls do not involve the vagina when masturbating and if she does masturbate and does not finger the opening of the vagina then this would not contribute to the tearing of the membrane.

Also, does she masturbate? Girls often learn about this much later than boys and have less of an interest in or need to do it. It is possible she does not masturbate and if she does that she has yet to learn how to have an orgasm. This is a whole 'nother story and one you may want to ask her about later.

> will she be able 2 get back 2 sex after her cherry pops?

If the answer is no then the human species would have ended eons ago.

> i want 2 give her an orgasim her first time just so shell want 2 do it again and so she'll feel amazing her first time wit me but this cherry popping stuff is gettin in the way.

People do not give orgasms away. Each of us, male and female, is responsible for our own. All any of us can hope to accomplish is to help our partner achieve his/her own.

If she has learned to have orgasms from learning to masturbate, then help her to have one or more before engaging in intercourse.

It is unrealistic to expect a person's first experience with intercourse to reach an orgasm. There are just too many variables and dynamics at play; moreover, if there is much discomfort this will derail the sensations that lead up to having a climax. Your first time goal should be to make her as comfortable as possible, both with you and the situation and focus on her emotionally.

Whether or not she wants to have sex with you in the future depends more on the "mutual admiration" you have previously established. This has more to do with your interpersonal relationship than a physical relationship that will develop and become better with time and practice.

The only thing getting in the way is your lack of knowledge.

> wat do i do?

Look at the Index and read each and every article listed in it more than once. These are short, sweet, and to the point and provide much useful "how-to" information and insight.

--BEGIN HERE--w/a Partial INDEX of Sex Info 101 Sex Ed. Topics

Once you have digested the information, ask your girlfriend to read the information. Knowledge is empowering!

I urge you to think more than once about having intercourse for the time being. Better that you limit your excursions with Foreplay. It is safer, more intense. For women loosing her virginity is often a very powerful and emotional experience as well as a rite of passage. It has been related here many times that while a woman did not mind loosing her virginity as a girl, she did mind the way and manner in which it was lost as well as with whom.

You are a kid wanting to engage in adult activities. Until you are mature and responsible enough and can foresee the consequences of any actions, I recommend limiting your activities to Foreplay and saving intercourse for much later in life.

Welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating and will take all the recommendations to task. You have made a great start by asking all these questions. Got more?



P.S. BTW, this is an adult site. In addition to using the Queen's English, please do not use four letter words. It is unbecoming.