Getting hard

[Alt]

Lately, I have had a problem with getting hard infront of my girlfriend. I have read what should be causing this problem is nerves / not being relaxed. So lately I have tried being really relaxed which has helped a little, but still I am having this issue. It occurs most when her or myself have most of our clothes off. I used to be embarrassed of my size but I learned to get over it.

[DanielScott]

Stress can be a big factor. If there is something going on in your life at the moment, even if they're unrelated, it can be a big problem.

You say you learned to get over some of your issues - it is possible that these are not fully resolved and were just "submerged" in your mind for a while. Seeing a sex therapist, or, if you feel comfortable enough, a counsellor/shrink might be your best bet at making sure there aren't any roadblocks you aren't consciously aware of.

[bluetide76]

I had those same nerves in the beginning with my girlfriend. The trick that I found was thinking about it from an outside perspective. She wants to be with you, she is choosing to be sexual and attracted to you. Therefore your size and physical appearance is attractive to her. I gained comfort with knowing that she was feeling the same nerves about her body for awhile. Many times we think solely about how we appear/perform when really our partner is thinking the same about themselves. My advice is to think about the situation, she wants to be with you therefore be confident with who you are and what you offer. When you are confident with what you got you can take it far and really give her a good time. Good luck

[dancingdoc2]

Good replies, these.

Another thought is to not try to have an erection. If it happens, great. She will find enjoyment knowing that she is the cause. I am suggesting that you can also have great fun having her bring about that erection with lots of necking, petting, heavy petting, and then foreplay. Just let her have her way with you and enjoy the results of her enjoyment.

While having an erection when you disrobe--and before, can be a turn on, it isn't necessary. While having an erection can before things get very far is confirmation on her part that you are reacting to your feelings for her, just like going for round to after loosing an erection after your first climax can be fun, I am suggesting that you can have this same enjoyment in the beginning.

What you will usually find is that as familiarity and comfort levels improve with each other, your erection will magically reappear. Lastly, as you age and get into your forties, a spontaneous erection will not always happen and will have to be "worked up", so this is something to get over, also. Do not get in a dither about having a spontaneous erection, concentrate on her and how to pleasure her and she will reciprocate and you will begin responding.