finding the g spot with man on top

[Marissa L]

I have been having sex for a few years, and I have never been able to orgasm unless I am on top. With my man on top I have tried elevating my pelvis and putting my legs up, *but for some reason it does not feel like my G Spot is being hit. Maybe it is physically impossible for me orgasm from being on the bottom, but maybe somone can sugest some more positions for me to try...??

[Brandye]

1. One-quarter of all women never have orgasms. Period.
2. The possinility of G-Spot stimulation with penile thrusting is slim.
3, We all have preferred positions and with the woman on top, she is most likely able to bring pressure where it is needed.
Look around the site. The G-Spot is a rather sophisticated concept that few women ever reach. There is no medical certainty that the G-Spot exists. From what you describe, you are really improving clitoral stimulation being on top. I like being on top because it is easy to rub my clitoris against his pubic bone. That improves stimulation althoug I am among that half of all women who require some stimulation other than penile movement to reach orgasm.

[abovethewaves]

so all this talk about the g spot.. so many say that there is a percentage of women unable to reach orgasm internally.. although the more people i talk to and seek out it seems as if im in a very small minority.. i have been sexually active for some time now and have had a few seriouse relationships... i've been with my current partner for two years now.. the fact that sex is unable to help me achieve orgasm troubles him to no avail.. even to the extent that he feels inadequate and almost selfish during intercourse, with the knowledge he will not get me off. i've tried masturbation, and my clitoris works just fine.. as i feel as if ive lost all hope i still hope to believe i'm missing important pieces to the puzzle.. help... i want to share this with him and for myself, i'd love to feel like a complete woman.. instead of one whose parts are disfunctional

[demonbuttercup]

Do you rub your clit while he's penetrating you?? That's what I have to do usually.

[Brandye]

Achieving our orgasm is much more complicated and difficult than for a man. He MSUT have an orgasm to make us pregnant; we need not have orgasms to get pregnant. The way we are built, his entire organ in enveloped in an organ whose only purpose is to hold it until he ejaculates. Our clitoris is an anatomical side note that may or may not be properly stimulated in penetration and thrusting. The G-Spot: although I have "found" mine, we do not even know what it is. Very few women ever actually experience G-Spot stimulation; not many even try. Fair? No, but nature is trying to propogate the species not give women pleasure.

Half of us require additional stimulation. I am in that group and have a very satisfying sex life but little to no expectation that I will take him in and enter bliss. There is one position I really like because it allows either of us to add clitoral stimulation while I have him in there.

You never say whether or not you reach orgasm alone, only that your clitoris works just fine. If you can reach orgasm alone, you can teach him what to do to get you there. It may or may not include penile thrusting. He needs a shot of reality - women ARE different.

[Laika]

Originally Posted by Brandye

Achieving our orgasm is much more complicated and difficult than for a man. He MSUT have an orgasm to make us pregnant; we need not have orgasms to get pregnant. The way we are built, his entire organ in enveloped in an organ whose only purpose is to hold it until he ejaculates. Our clitoris is an anatomical side note that may or may not be properly stimulated in penetration and thrusting. The G-Spot: although I have "found" mine, we do not even know what it is. Very few women ever actually experience G-Spot stimulation; not many even try. Fair? No, but nature is trying to propogate the species not give women pleasure.

but why? because they need to be all focussed on briging the children up? bahh. I orgasm quite easily and I still want it to be easier. But on the other hand, having multiples is really nice

[EvilEvilKitten]

Most women do not orgasm because they refuse to permit it. They tense up, they think that sex is dirty, they hold their breath, they fear the loss of control, they select and stay with unskilled lovers, they think he'll not respect them. they think they will not respect themselves. Sex begins in the brain and it is what's in the brain that will wreck any chance of having great sex.

I have taught many men exactly how to caress the G-Spot with the head of their penis - it isn't that hard. Once they find it with their hand, they can find it with their glans. Gentlemen, in the male superior position sit somewhat upright, add a touch of lube, and go in just shy of halfway then rock back and forth pressing upwards on the vagina. Watch for her reaction - you'll have the spot when you see her show signs of "nervousness" or "excitement". Lubrication is required for best effect.

Next comes the posterior Fornix, and all of you ladies who like it deep and hard - that's exactly what he's stimlating when he does that. Instead of sitting upright in the male superior position, scoop her shoulders up in your arms, go in deep beneath her cervix and press downward while thrusting - gently at first at moderate speed then switching gears to fast and hard as she orgasms.

If your lover has sufficient control, he can alternate between G-Spot and Posterior fornix stimulation several times making sure you'll have as many orgasms as you will allow yourself to have.

For those women who require clitoral stimulation as well try doing 69 with one man while another, more skilled man, comes in from behind and alternates between stimulating your G-Spot and Posterior Fornix with his glans. Now THAT is a trip!

[BTDTWoman]

Originally Posted by abovethewaves

so all this talk about the g spot..

help... i want to share this with him and for myself, i'd love to feel like a complete woman.. instead of one whose parts are disfunctional

Your post is a perfect example of what worries me about the disproportionate amount of attention given to the G-spot orgasm. It gives so many women yet ANOTHER reason to feel sexually inadequate, question their femininity, and sexually "dysfunctional" to boot!

Although the G-spot and vaginal penetration without simultaneous clitoral stimulation are two ways that a minority of orgasmic women report being able to reach orgasm, research and direct observation by sexologists have demonstrated (over and over and over again) that most perfectly normal women can reach orgasm only through direct or indirect clitoral stimulation.

So orgasm acheived through stimulation of the clitoris is the most normal, most functional, and most "womanly" way to reach orgasm. That idea just doesn't sit well with men (and women) who insist that a thrusting penis must be the best way for normal women to reach the best possible orgasm. I am deeply saddened and frustrated knowing that millions of women (and their sex partners) out there believe there must be something wrong with them when these women are perfectly normal physiologically and psychologically.

Freud did women (and all of us, I suppose) a major disservice by postulating that two kinds of orgasms exist, a vaginal orgasm and a clitoral orgasm. Furthermore, he believed that vaginal orgasms can only be achieved by mature psychologically healthy women, while immature women remain stuck in some early stage of psychosexual development and can only achieve clitoral orgasms. His words have been interpreted in various ways in our culture, but ultimately, there is no credible evidence to support this widely accepted theory, and there is lots of evidence that challenges the veracity of Freud's claim.

And what is this cultural obsession with G-spots when many guys are still having trouble mastering the basics? Most women report that G-spot exploration and stimulation is physically irritating. So why do people keep trying when the pleasure button is so obvious and the G-spot so elusive?

My theory (apologies to Siggy) is that men feel threatened by the fact that his penis is less capable of producing female orgasm than her clitoris. With phallic masculinity at stake, they are GOING to find that damn spot and MAKE her come from stimulation that at least APPROXIMATES phallic penetration.

(FYI: Around the world every year about 4 million little girls have their clitoris chopped off to make absolutely certain that the clitoris can never replace the role of the phallus - keywords FGM female genital mutilation infibulation clitoridectomy.)

Yes, I know that in our culture, most women enjoy consensual vaginal penetration enormously. And yes, I know that some couples just want to explore every possible facet of their sexuality, including the G-spot. But I don't believe that either of these facts accounts for the public's continued fascination with the sacred G-spot.

[summerbreeze]

Abovethewaves

For years the only way I could have an orgasm was when I used 2 toys at once. One for penetration and one for the clitorius. I could never have an orgasm with any man that I was with. Even with that it could take me over a hour just to have a orgasm, if I had one at all.

I actually just learned how to be able to have an orgasm while having sex with my man. What I did was relaxed more. Stop tensing so much and holding my breathe. Once I did that the emotions zoomed over me and I let them go. What a rush! You should try that. Loosing up when having sex. I always held my breathe and tensed up b/c I thought it felt better,,, boy was I wrong.

That could be the reason why you are not having one or many. You should also try what EEK said. After all thanks to her I finally recieved mine (thanks again).

There is nothing wrong with you for not having one either. Just need to do some real exploring. Have him feel around inside you to find the spot, once you get that, he'll know where to go from there. Maybe even try while he's doing that (if it doesn't already get you there) to rub your clit. It might even turn him on.

[EvilEvilKitten]

Every woman has two hands - yet some can sew and some cannot - I am one who cannot do more than reaffix buttons. Do I feel "inadequate"? No. I cannot knit either. I can cook though. Every woman has her "thing" Just know what is what and roll with what works for you.

The same applies here - just because you have all three does NOT mean that all three will work for you, or it might! But if you are not aware of their existence, you are not going to try G-Spot or Posterior fornix stimulation. Just try.

Yes, I do exactly what I say I do - does that make you feel inadequate, question your femininity, make you assume you're sexually dysfunctional?
It shouldn't. I have my talents/skills and you have yours.

The reason why "men are still working on the basics" is because WOMEN are not demonstrating, educating, demanding a higher level of performance- witness many of the questions we're asked. "Will he respect me if I ask/tell him?" Bah! When it comes to sex, most men will enjoy whatever you care to give them. Most men are more than happy to learn as well. Some have even bought my books on these subjects.

Summer - precisely! Breathe deeply, Relax, and let the feelings run through you. Orgasms are good!

Female circumsion is HORRIFIC. It is the equivalent of chpping off half a man's penis with an axe. Usually done at age 7 in the family home under filthy conditions and without anesthetics. They often remove the labia as well and stitch closed her vagina leaving just a small opening for menstrual blood. The men of these cultures have convinced the women that their daughters will NOT be admitted to heaven if this is not done. SICK SICK SICK It is a fear of female sexuality that drives these cultures - men knowing they are inadequate by comparison. The reasoning is based more upon CONTROL than any specific area of stimulation.