question about female orgasm

[stanisgreat]

ok.. i've had sex with my girlfriend about 7 times now.. and the first time was the only time she was even close to cumming.. i am her first and she is mine. first times seem to be something for her.. because ive gone down on her before and she loved it the most the first time.. like it felt the best. and the first time we did it she loved it a lot. and i have tried everything to make her cum.. like rubbing her clit and the whole nine yards. afterwards when we talk about it.. she says she "doesn't care" if she cums or not.. she just enjoys being with me. but to me her cumming is very important to me.. because i feel like i have accomplished something if she does.. all i wanna do is make her happy. i suggested tryin a vibrator to see if that would work.. we'll try it.. maybe that will work.. also i must add, she has a extremely hard time getting herself off with her hand.. she uses a foot massager [wow creative] to get herself off. any suggestions? and no suggestions about not wearing condoms because we're gonna always wear them.. i heard not wearing them makes girls [and guys] cum a lot faster because its skin on skin.. but any help would be great thanks

[LittleFury]

Ok...lets try this. A lot of women have incredibly hard time having an orgasm from intercourse. So oral mgiht be your best bet. Start out slow, maybe tease for a while, try different things, if she says that something feels good keep doing that. It mgith take a while, but you just gotta try different things. And don't stop after 5 minutes, soemtimes it mgiht take a lot longer than that.

[demonbuttercup]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (stanisgreat @ May 26 2005,20:58)]afterwards when we talk about it.. she says she "doesn't care" if she cums or not.. she just enjoys being with me. but to me her cumming is very important to me.. because i feel like i have accomplished something if she does..

Well what Brandye usually says is... this isn't about YOU!
If she is happy and content then let it be. Its not your place to "make" her have an orgasm. All you two can do is work together and try to achieve. Yet trying too hard can usually end up w/ no results.

Here's one quote from Brandye

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] ]2. It is her orgasm, not yours. Do not identify yourself as the source of any woman's pleasure

Here's a good link too
Here's another

[Brandye]

Thank you, Demon <hings>

When are the men going to get the picture. First, Stan, some personal experience. Some of the best sex I have had over a dew decades has not resulted directly in my having an orgasm. We women are blessed with the ability to enjoy sex (just having you in us) without the earth crashing. I have rarely (maybe a handful of time) had an orgasm as a result of penile thrusting. I need something more such as oral or digital stimulation. Secret: The longer one lingers on my breasts (especially the right nipple), the faster I am going to come. The first time a tongue brushed across my clitoral hood (not the clitoris), I went to the stars; that first experience was completely unanticipated and heavenly. The first time someone went down on me during my period (it was another woman), I knew I had found Nirvana.

OK, now the facts: One-quarter of all women never (or very rarely) experience orgasm from any source including masturbation. One-half of all women never (or very rarely) experience orgasm from penile thrusting (my group). About a quarter of us can masturbate to orgasm but it does not work with a partner. The earlier in life and the more regular we masturbate, the more satisfied we are with sex later in life. Practicing religious women tend to be more satisfied with their sex lives than we who are not religious.

Sex therapists tell us that we can all make it. So? It is our choice, our decision, our orgasm. We own it. Our vagina is for our satisfaction and if you are in it that is good for us. The fact that it is pleasant for you is a bonus.

You have your orgasm; let her find her satisfaction. And bravo - condoms always and add a vaginal spermicide. You will be glad some day.