G/F never had an orgasm

[Houston]

Hello everyone. I'm new to this board and am glad I found a sex forum that wasn't loaded with smut. I'm looking for some honest to goodness advice.

I'm 22 and have had a couple sexual partners before - enough to know what I like and what women usually like too. With my past girlfriends, I've never had a problem making them orgasm, ususally through oral sex. My current girlfriend is the same age as me and has had one sexual partner before me. Thing is, she has never orgasmed ever. Her previous partner never gave her an orgasm, she's never been able to give herself one, and in the year+ of us being sexually active, I haven't been able to help her either.

She still enjoys sex (and often during the summer, her sex drive is higher than mine...sometimes I practically have to beat her off with a stick) even though she doesn't orgasm. Now, we have tried most everything together (I'm sure there's a few things we haven't tried, and that's what I'm looking for).

We've tried every sexual position we could find, and she likes me behind her the most. I've tried lots of oral on her; fingering (which she used to love and would get her the closest to orgasm she's ever been, but now it mostly hurts her). I've tried clitoral orgasm cream (didn't work). We've tried her masturbating beforehand, then me taking over - nadda. We even had sex in exotic locations (lots of outdoor; on a mountain-top; while at a Mexican 5-star resort, etc.), and although she has enjoyed it all, she still can't orgasm.

Now, I know that she's definitely more of an "internal-pleasure" girl than a "clitoral-pleasure" girl --- that is to say that I've heard most women have orgasms when the clit is stimulated, but some can have internal orgasms too (mostly from stimulating the G-spot). She's been closest in the past when I was stimulating her G-spot with my fingers, but once (at her insistence of me going harder and faster), I may have hurt her with my fingers...my fingernails were trimmed, but she still bled a bit. The pain went away after a day or so, but now she can only handle a little bit of fingering before it starts to hurt, and I can't go really hard with my fingers at all anymore.

What I'm asking is are there any women out there who have had a similar problem? I am aware of all the stats and try to learn as much as possible on this. I know about 75% of women can't come through intercourse alone. But this goes above and beyond. Has anyone ever had this much of a problem with making the women climax? I'll take any advice, from men or women...is there anything that you tried (product, technique, mental concentration, etc.) that finally helped you orgasm? Especially something that is a little less well-known?

Right now, I have a few things "in the works". I've ordered some Tantric Sex books and I continue to research techniques that make it easier for the girl to come. I'm also contemplating getting her some natural aphrodesiacs (any brands that you could recommend? Any side effects?). We have also discussed this a lot (communication is no problem between us) and have noted the following:

- she likes it from behind most
- she likes to be a little buzzed when we do it, because she finds it relaxes her (one beer only)
- she likes going for a long time, and having the freedom to be as loud as possible - in other words, she doesn't like restrictions/inhibitions (not always an option as we both live with roommates)
- she LOVES adding food to sex...she has said that we should do all these things listed above while she eats some chocolate (which I'm game for, but we haven't practised yet)
- she's petite: 5'4", 105 pounds; I'm a tall guy, about twice her weight (6'1", 210 pounds)
- she is currently on some anti-depressant medication and birth control pills, both of which we are aware may retard her enjoyment of sex (anything that can counter these effects such as a certain food, herb, or aphrodesiac?)
- she does not like oral sex or fingering/masturbating as much as most women...she prefers giving me oral sex, making out, and straight intercourse (sometimes she's more of a "man" than I am...wanting to skip foreplay and, in her words, "get to the good stuff&quot
- she moans and pants a lot during sex, and I believe she sincerely enjoys it a lot...I have no reason to believe she's ever been dishonest with me, and I don't think she's ever faked her enjoyment of it (like I said, sometimes she's begging for it more than me)
- she is not opposed to anal, but she has to be in the mood for it (being a little buzzed helps her)...when we have done anal, she seemed to really enjoy it (and I have heard that some women can ONLY come during anal)
- she likes it rough...when we make love softly or slowly she just begs for it to be harder and faster; she also likes a little bit of domination...nothing extreme, but she likes me to throw her around a bit, hold her down, or even lightly choke her while we're humping; she also likes to be scratched and have her nipples pinched or bit...I don't like her to be as rough with me, but I have no problems giving her what she asks for

So, all that being said, can anyone offer up any advice? Anything, especially obscure or rare ideas/techniques/devices/products because we've tried most of the "regular stuff" such as basic vibrators. Its really important to me that I help my girlfriend orgasm, because I'm crazy about her and want to make her feel as good as possible. She still enjoys it, and she seems content to go on without orgasming, but I would still love to help her get there. If we're still together in 5 years, I would hate that in all that time, I still can't help her climax.

Oh, and one more thing that is probably important to note: she has had suspicions for some time that she might be bi-sexual. She finds a lot of women very attractive, but she's never been with one. She has also made it clear that she has no intention of leaving me for a women, and she says she's very happy with me, but she still wonders if it will take a sexual experience with a woman to make her come. We are rather opposed to having a threesome (although on a primal level, of course it has certain appeals) because neither of us wants to "share" the other. I think it would cause problems for our relationship...I don't think I'd be too opposed to seeing her with another woman (her having sex without me would offend me, though). I know that she would hate the idea of me having sex with someone else...so even if we did have a threesome, it would basically be me watching her have sex with another girl. I could maybe participate with my girlfriend, but it would cause problems if I even touched the other girl...which is fair, IMO. I wouldn't ever want her to have sex with another guy. The only thing that makes me think she's not a full-blown bi-sexual is that although she finds many women attractive, she thinks female genitalia are "gross".

So, we have quite a problem. Sorry that this is so long, but I really wanted to provide as much info as possible. I would love to make her come, so any and all advice is welcome. If you have any questions, please ask. I'll be sure to check in on this every day or so. Thanks everyone.

[The_Milf]

ok well im not sure how to start this but here goes..
In order for her to find out what makes her orgasm she needs to do some masterbation sessions...she needs to experiment with her own body to find turn ons turn offs..you said u both feel comfortable trying new things.. then maybe do it together with you watching her.. there is going to be a combination that will unlock that first orgasm now she just has to find it.. thats not always easy ..for me when i was in my 20's I was only able to orgasm during oral, either by him going down on me or by rubbing my clit.. never during the actual act..and it always took along time to get to that point of climax..
so i tried different things with my own body.... I eventually found the combination of what makes me orgasm.. I remeber the first time I actually had an orgasm during sex.. I was completely thrown..it came out of know where..it was just feeling good then bamn i was in the middle of one of my best orgasms ever..I thought about it after..ok what postion was I in, how was he moving where was his hands..etc etc.. and eventually after practising I was able to do it over and over...now that im in my 30's and in my sexual peak I can have an orgasm with little stimulation at times..lol hell I have had wet dreams myself..I wake up finding that I just had an incridible orgasm in my sleep..
sometimes it takes alot of practice and patients.. and maybe your both focusing on it so much and getting frustrated that your forgetting the most important thing about sex..and that is just enjoying, exploring and having fun..stop thinking about it and just relax and enjoy yourself ..and maybe it just might happen when your not expecting it.. also I know for myself that after drinking it is harder for me to orgasm it takes a little bit longer. yeah im relaxed and all and it feels amazing..but it takes alot longer to reach orgasm.. maybe she should forgo the beer once and try it that way as well..same with my b.f if he drinks more than 3-4 beers before we have sex.it takes him alot longer to orgasm as well..alcohol affects you..

you also said she likes it doggy, well for me doggy was a good position to achieve an orgasm... while my b.f was behind and inside i would have him go slow, at the same time i reached under myself *and would rub my clit.. and with him going slow and deep or stop i would rub my clit and use my muscles to tighten around him..this would bring me higher and closer to climax..then when i was right at the cliff ready to fall off he would move faster and harder till i fell off into my orgasm..which from moving so fast and hard would set him off as well..

you also said that she has come close during oral.. I know for myself that that if my b.f goes down on me if he stays focused on the top of my clit and just licks and rubs with his tongue orgasm comes fast for me..but if he licks my clit then moves his tongue to different parts of my vagina I loose that feeling fast and it dosen't feel as good..until he goes back to the clit.. then i feel like i have to start all over at the bottom of the hill..and everytime he changes im starting over again.. what im trying to say is communication is a big player in this.. the next time you go down on her..tell her to tell you when you hit a good spot and that it feels exceptionally good..then you need to just keep doing that. she needs to relax and focus on the act itself on what *your doing and focus on how good it feels.. but once you find that good spot..don't change just keep licking that way and you never know she just might have her first orgasm..
when my b.f hits on a good spot for me I tell him how good it feels and tell him just to keep doing it like that..and then next thing im having an orgasm..the same goes with him.. when I go down on him.. he tells me what feels good and i focus on that ...communication is the key to a great sex life..