? for the women on anal sex/rimming

[Rez101]

Hi, I was wondering about how to go about doing something new with the woman Ive been seeing (we're both in our 30s if that matters). Ive been wanting to try anal sex with her and also rimming (if you dont know what rimming is, look it up ). Ive done anal with a few women before, but it seemed to just come up when talking about sex which made it easier to lead into. It hasnt come up with this woman yet. We've been dating two months. Question for the women: Would this be too soon to try to get into any anal stuff? Also, as far as rimming her, I was just going to start performing oral on her and slowly just move into that area. Should I do it that way or bring it up beforehand? Will that weird her out if I just start doing it? I was going to ask her to shower with me before to make sure things are all clean beforehand too. I obviously wouldnt tell her I wanted to shower just to make sure shes clean though.
As far as anal...Ive had lots of experience with it with the two other women so I KNOW thats something you talk about beforehand. Ive heard the horror stories of guys who try to go there unexpectedly (I always talked about it first).
Anyways, any suggestions would be appreciated.

[thetease13]

Well I don't think it's "too soon". Everyone works at their own pace.
But I do believe, as you said, that it's something you should talk about before hand. If you just started going down there, whether for penetration or rimming, she might not like you in the morning. lol.

[Brandye]

Well, those who have been around a while know my position on anal. You can find that under golden Posts and several previous threads. That is something I would definitely talk about. Among other things, if you and she choose to, are the the position to be used and protection to be used. Do not get into it without lots of lube and condoms.

Rimming is a different issue with very different potential outcomes. Nothing wrong with just working your way there during oral. If you get resistance, you can backoff to what you have already been doing and talk about it later.

[Rez101]

Yeah, I knew about asking about the anal sex thing and I always use condoms and lots of lubs. Even if its in a relationship where we've both been checked and monogamous, I still use em. Mostly for comfort for her and to keep any unwanted bacteria, etc away from me. I was mostly curious as to the time frame of two months, but I guess thats kind of up to me to determine by just chatting with her about it.
As far as the rimming thing, thanks for the advice. Ive kind of been working my way down there during oral and not getting any resistance, so maybe I'll go further down next time and see what happens.

[Tessie]

I think taking a shower together is a great idea. Its erotic and you can get soap in all the right places. Then like you said just move down slowly. It shouldn't be hard to sense any unease from her and if you do just stop and move back up. Now if she likes it and once your good time is over that would be the best time to bring up going further.

I would also reassure about the use of lube and condoms and that you would be very gentle and if she didn't like it at anytime you will stop immediately.

[BabyBlue]

Talk to her, you don’t have to ask her out right if she has had or would like to try anal sex, you could just ask if she is intrigued by the idea of anal play.
Then you are putting it in a safe context to discuss, almost like the 3rd person, and you’re also not just focusing on penetration because “play” encompasses lots of different things.

Anal sex isn’t for everyone and what you don’t want to do is make her feel under pressure.