Making my girlfriend come

[johnnybg00d]

Hi all, I have been reading these posts for a long time and this is my first post.. I have been with my girlfriend for almost a year now and any time we have sex, or do anything sexual, I am still unable to make her have an orgasm, which is very frustrating for me and her.

We are both 20 years old and very unexperienced but since I have been reading EVERYTHING there is to know about sex on pages such as this that I would be good at it for some reason.. Well thats not the case..

I think I might know the answers to my questions but I want to pose them to you people here to see if I am somewhat correct in my assumptions..

Sometimes when I finger her, she complains that it feels like she has to pee, and I always told her that it was a good thing and to let me keep going, yet she said it was very uncomfortable and "weird" and asked me to stop, which I did. That happened only a few times and even though I try to emulate those exact movements on her g-spot everytime, I am unable to get her to feel like she has to pee again (which I assume is a good thing).

Now last night we were having sex, and I convinced her to try the doggy style position, which I might add we had a little trouble getting into. Either way we were able to do it and I noticed she was really enjoying herself so I kept on going harder.. Unfortunately after a few minutes I guess I got tired and my penis came out and when i tried to put it back in i couldnt and got soft.. thats besides the point..

The point is I asked her how she liked it (doggy style) and her exact words were, "I felt like I was going to pee like mad crazy".. Does this mean that her g-spot was being stimulated and that if continued she would have potentially had an orgasm ? If so, when she feels like she has to pee, I have read that she is supposed to push out, like she is going to pee, except it wont be pee that comes out.. is this true ? Any help with my situation would be MOST WELCOME as I have been trying to make this poor girl orgasm for sooo long now and I think its about due time

[thetease13]

well i've felt the need to pee when he was touching me down there and while we were having sex and it has nothing to do with my g-spot.
lots of people, both men and women, feel the need to pee when having sex or being touched. it's quite normal.
feeling the need to pee isn't really a bad thing either. generally it means the person is turned on and is having a good time.

and i myself wouldn't "push out" so to speak or i probably would pee.

[demonbuttercup]

yeah in some positions i feel like i have to pee and i really do have to pee...lol.
its like w/ some positions he is poking at my bladder or something.
like w/ doggystyle if your penis was angled more down towards her stomach rather than up towards her back. then you would be poking her bladder.

[WallyLlama]

Well the "pee" thing is a new one on me...

In the FWIW (for what it's worth) category, it sounds to me like you need to back up a little - maybe a lot. "You encourage her..." "You convince her..." The subject or your post is "making her come..."

If you need to do do one thing, it's encourage her to share the responsibility for her own orgasm.

I would think an important consideration is whether or not she cums from masterbating. You also haven't told us how she feels about this lack of orgasm. She may not want it as much as you do!

When you both start relaxing and truly enjoying yourselves (right now you're trying desperately to make her cum and she's trying desperately not too pee!), it will happen.

Relax!

Wally

[johnnybg00d]

thanx for the quick replies!

ok so I guess the pee thing really isn't part of a building orgasm and it does have to do with her needing to pee ? I was under the impression that its impossible to pee while aroused (maybe thats just men) without having some kind of medical condition.

My girlfriend has never masturbated before and i have encouraged her to try because I know that self exploration is the best way to learn your own body and responses, but she feels uncomfortable with the idea so I don't try to push it on her.

As far as how she feels with lack of orgasm she tells me that she doesn't care, which may be true, but I think it is because she doesn't know what she is missing..

And it's not that I really care too much that she does or doesn't, but I sumtimes get frustrated that I almost always cum from having sex and yet I am unable to do the same to her.

I definately have tried alot as far as relaxing and getting her to relax as well, I just though that maybe I was onto some kind of breakthru or somthing since I remember reading that some women experience an urge to pee before g-spot orgasm but I could be wrong

Anyway, thanx again for all your replies!

[demonbuttercup]

you are correct that some women claim that when they are having a full on g-spot orgasm and are about to have a female ejaculation that they sometimes feel the urge to pee.
on the other hand, the percent of women who are able to have regular orgasms on a regular basis thru intercourse or other means, the percent who have FEs is even smaller.
you are right, maybe your g/f just doesn't know what she is missing. i've never had a FE so i can't completely describe the feeling.

i would still encourage her to try masturbation. i mean you don't have to nag her or make her feel pressured. just let her know that until she knows her body and can make herself have an orgasm it will be much harder for you to make her orgasm.
since she doesn't know what one feels like then she can't tell you if you are doing something right or wrong.
she may be even getting real close to one but since she doesn't know what to feel or expect then she doesn't allow you to continue what you are doing to finish her off.
woman feel the urge and may even pee while aroused. i think the reason a guy can't do it b/c the penis is erect and all those muscles and stuff are tense.
my b/f tells me how hard it is for him to pee sometimes b/c of morning wood.

as brandye has mentioned before, some guys try to focus tooo much on finding the g-spot when in reality thats something not all women will be able to experience. on the other hand, we all have clits. they are easy to find and are very arousing when stimulated the right way.
i would focus less on her g-spot and the peeing thing and try to focus more on her clit. for me, clitoral stimulation is the key to my orgasms. my g-spot may be getting stimulated w/out me knowing it...lol. but if im getting good penetration and clitoral stimulation i have orgasms 99.9% of the time.

[Synthetic]

It is pretty simple. Some women when having the g spot stimulated feel like they have to pee because it is near the urethra (I think). If she waits out this sensation she will have an orgasm. She will NOT pee.

[demonbuttercup]

the urge to pee comes from that the fluid or "female cum" i guess you could say... comes out the urethra.
i guess the feeling for men and women are totally different in that a guys function are all in one organ, the penis. its where they pee, ejaculate, and all their sensitivity is from that one area.
as for women, its all spread out. so when this urge to pee comes along we don't associate it w/ pleasure i guess b/c the urethra isn't part of the pleasure package (vagina and clit)
i dunno, when a guy ejaculates what does it feel like?
do you feel kind of like you are peeing? do you feel it come out at all?