Help me Orgasm!!

[Pinkladyx69]

i find it SO difficult to have an orgasm. and it's really f.ucking bothering me now, too.
i hate if a guy fingers me. it doesn't do a thing for me.
and if a guy goes down on me.. well, it's nice enough, but i don't find it amazing. it's nice at first, but i never get really into it, and i find him there licking like mad and i feel so pressured to have an orgasm that eventually i just fake it. if i don't fake it i'll bruise his pride. and i feel so bad about it all.
i only get turned on by my vibrator, or by dry sex. i like humping pillows (yes i know how strange that sounds).. but it's the only thing that really feels great for me, because i'm lyig on top and i'm in control.
my clitoris is a bltch and just doesn't respond to most guys. my current boyfriend is amazing but i'm not incredibly turned on by him, to be honest.
i really don't know what to do. help!!

[demonbuttercup]

well the main thing is to try and relax
i know thats easier said and done
but he fact you lie there stressing if you'll have an orgasm can pretty much guarentee that you won't.

what works for me is using my vibe on my clit while my b/f is penetrating.
the best feeling

[Pinkladyx69]

yeah the vibrator addition sounds fabulous, but i'm afraid i'll offend him. and we're not having sex yet either, so yknow.. it's pretty much a case of him doing oral sex, or him fingering me & me giving him a wank. however i hate wanking, lol, so that's not going to happen! i also amn't too fond of fingering.
it's not just my boyf though, it's most guys who touch me (
but thank you for your advice! ) i'll try relax.

[demonbuttercup]

well just think about it this way
you'll end up offending him more if he finds out you've been faking all this time.
i mean im not a guy but i would think a guy would rather you bring a little toy to the bedroom so that you can orgasm than to find out you've been faking and not orgasming at all.
there is a thread on here about faking. the fact that all that does is just make you feel bad. he th inks he's doing a good job but he's not. he'll never learn what makes you feel good if you keep letting him think he's doing good.

[Steelblazer65]

I would not think introducing a vibrator would offend him. The goal of any couple is to please each other, but the key is communicating. I have never had troubles giving my gf orgasms by going down on her or during sex. Even fingering her has gotten her off. We both love sex and talk about what we like and what pleases each other. Having a more relaxed and fun time for sex is the best part.

[WallyLlama]

Originally Posted by [b

Quote[/b] (Pinkladyx69 @ Mar. 19 2004,03:37)]...it's pretty much a case of him doing oral sex, or him fingering me & me giving him a wank. however i hate wanking, lol, so that's not going to happen! i also amn't too fond of fingering.
it's not just my boyf though, it's most guys who touch me.

Well, under those circumstances... it would seem to me that the odds of ever having an orgasm (other than with the pillows) are about zilch - relaxed or not!

[Extra-Titanian]

Maybe it's just his technique. I'm 200% positive he wouldn't be against practicing more. If anything, try to set aside some time and get together, and well, find out what works. Practice makes perfect. As people have said, every woman is different, giving advice only goes so far. I think you can either learn what works for you, or accept never having mind-boggling orgasms (something that no one should have to accept if they don't want to.)