female orgasms

[bunners101]

I don't understand....i can get an orgasm just fine while in the shower and spraying the water on my clit, but when it comes to fingering, licking, or sex...i just CAN'T...it's tremendously frustrating...i have been really close but then my partner gets tired or moves positions or styles....Does Brandye or ANYONE have ANY advice to make this easier or better? I just don't understand how a shower can get me an orgasm and a dick, finger, or tongue can't...it doesn't make sense...Please help i am really frustrated....thanks guys

[Cornelius111]

It could be possible that you're sort of giving yourself this problem. The equivalent with men that most people hear of is the guy worries about lasting long and then he doesn't. The same could apply to you. You're so concerned with having an orgasm you're not relaxing and enjoying it. My advice would be to take a short break from sex to sort of clean your "mental slate". Then next time relax and just enjoy it and the orgasm will come.(Also if changing position is a problem you could get on top, this also allows you to stimulate your clit simultaneously.)

[Bewitching]

Good point.

You should also try different ways of stimulating your clit.

Try it yourself with your own fingers and see how it likes to be played with.

And do GET ON TOP! *it's the most popular way for a woman to orgasm. *Rub your clit on his pelvic bone and separate those lips from from your clit so your clit is getting direct attention! *

it may not sound right, but fantasizing for a little bit may also help while you're with your man (esp. if you have a fantasy where you'd love to experiment with a woman - that way another man aint getting in the way!)

[LittleFury]

Also, you say that once you're close, he gets tired or changes position. What might help is letting him know that you're close, that could get him to go on for a bit longer and also tell him not to change anything. You might want to try adding a bit mroe lube, sometimes that could help. And try masturbating by using your fingers, or even a vibrator, that might help, see what you like aside from showerhead, and don't think of sex as a marathon to come, enjoy the entire process and relax.

[moonflower]

It could at this point be because you are so worried about having one that it makes t difficult to have one. *Orgasm are as much mental as physical. *You said that in the shower you can have one, alone I am assuming. *Have you tried masterbating without him around outside of the shower. *I really could be you are to nervous about not having an orgasm for him. *Some well lots of women can only have an orgasm through clit stimulation.

[Bewitching]

Too right, there's no way you're gonna be able to orgasm if the mind isn't in the right place.

[archer]

Communication with your b/f will help as well, wen he hits the right spot or makes u nearly get there, tell him he is doing it right, or doing it like htat will make u come easier,...im sure he'll like to know he is doing something right. im sure its not all frustrating for just yourself but ur b/f as well. if he gets tired, then y dont u do some of the work, get on top of him and this gives u heaps more control on rythm and pressure of the right parts

Water sex might be a lil rough on ur clit as well (im just guessing im not a girl) and its kind of desensitising your clit. i reckon you shouldnt masturbate or watever for a week and let your sex organs become more sensitive, and see wat happens. i know if i play wif myself excessively i dont seem to cum easier.

hope this helps a lil