Turn-ons 101

[sera300]

Wanted to be damaged to the point of bruising, it not normal. There are those who bruise easily; however, what she is suggesting is not normal, young women have resilient tissue. Love bites are different, much like a hickey. If a patient winds up in the ER with bruises, or deep bites in the tissues, repeatedly from harsh sex behavior they do get psych evals. There are parameters of normal human behavior, I do not set them, I follow compliance with guidelines. Somewhere lines must be drawn.

Generally this behavior where one wants to be bruised, damaged tissue, escalates throughout a lifetime to points which are not pleasant. There are more often then not underlying psychological issues. Wikipedia is a good reference to look up general information on topics which one may not have background info on but it's far from a reliable medical or research resource. Many times it can provide good links but it fails to meet research guidelines.

[Xanthion]

How is a love bite (Which is a hickey) different? It's a bruise. A bruise is a bruise is a bruise.

EDIT: In response to your edit, I'm thinking I may be understanding this in a different way to you. My understanding was not that it was a desire to be bruised, but rather a desire for rough sex, which often led to bruises. It's a subtle difference, but one is about a desire to be damaged, and the other is a desire to be controlled which may lead to minor damage.

EDIT again: I'd also like to make defend a point I made in the previous edit. While no-one has challenged it yet, I felt it was fairly weak. When I say that the desire to be controlled leads to minor damage, I think I need to justify this minor damage. It's much the same as when anyone takes part in contact sports, such as rugby. The bruises are not a goal. They're merely an accompanying fact. They are not in themselves desirable, but instead serve as a reminder. They show the amount of effort put into the activity, be it sex or rugby. They both caution you of your limits, and serve as a mark of commendation as to your dedication.

The same can be said of any physical exertion, where you stretch your muscles. I'm sure everyone here has woken up after a day in the gym, or a day playing sport, with sore muscles. The sore muscles in themselves are a kind of pleasure, not for the pain, but instead as a reminder of the activity that caused them.

I'll probably clarify what I mean later... The entire post is clumsy and I don't think I came across the way I meant to.

[sera300]

Originally Posted by Xanthion

How is a love bite (Which is a hickey) different? It's a bruise. A bruise is a bruise is a bruise.

One is tissue damage during pleasure (sucking on a neck), the other is done through inducing pain. It has to do with the force behind the trauma.

[sera300]

Gotcha on the edit. I took it as the poster liked the force and the resulting tissue damage. Many are into pain infliction, when you look at what some do either to themselves or allow/encourage other's to do, you'd be shocked at what gets some people off. It's damned bizarre at times. If one wants to be struck until bruising results in younger women their tissue is pretty resilient; therefore, the force of the trauma is what needs to be assessed. It's easy to hold someone down even if just kidding around and accidentally leaving finger print bruises but some of what is real is really strange. If the only way one enjoys sex is rough each time, inflicting pain, there are underlying issues.

If a woman has repeated patterns of bruising, it's looked at seriously.

[Xanthion]

Originally Posted by sera300

One is tissue damage during pleasure (sucking on a neck), the other is done through inducing pain. It has to do with the force behind the trauma.

Ah, but that is exactly my point. Firstly, linking pain to bruising is deceptive. I'm sure we've all been doing something and discovered a bruise later that we weren't aware of causing. Constant pressure, at a level not enough to cause pain, can bruise. For example, the poster said she liked to be held down. If her boyfriend were to hold her wrists firmly, this can bruise. He might not be doing it enough to hurt her, especially in her aroused state, however it can lead to a bruise.

And the other side of it, she likes the bruising, not the pain. As I'm sure you're aware there are areas of the body where you can cause pain without causing a bruise. For example, I'm pretty sure it's very hard to bruise someone's ass . Then there are pressure points on the body. I've studied martial arts for years, and I know all sorts of ways of causing intense pain without leaving a mark.

So as I said before, I feel the error is confusing bruising with pain. I hope I'm making a reasonable argument as to why the two are not necessarily as linked as your argument seems to see them.

EDIT: Well, your second post more or less covered everything I said, and I completely agree.

An interesting point you made me think of. You say that it's a serious problem if the only way to enjoy sex is rough... I assume you accept then that some people do enjoy rough sex, some of the time, without underlying psychological issues? And that the serious issue is the dependency on pain for sexual pleasure?

[sera300]

I believe there are times where there is some turn on to roughness, been there done it, no bruising. There are also specific patterns to bruises which are indicative of trauma patterns. This varies from martial arts, this is a medical approach which specific forces are present which result patterns of physical damage. When a person gets off from this there is something which is causing the self-destructive behavior. I know the force required to hold my wrists down and if I was to struggle, I know the degree of force required to produce finger print bruises v. a bruise strictly from accidentally breaking a vein or capillary. It's much like looking at kids when their parents grab their upper arm and they are left with finger print bruises.

When someone has enjoyment from being bruised, there is tissue damage, and why would this be a turn on? There more happening here then just some simple goofing off. As I said, there are many reasons. Would you not think it odd if your g/f said "I love it when I have bruises around my wrist from being restrained?".

Enjoying rough sex is one thing, physical damage enjoyment is another. Try your own wrist, see the degree of force required to bruise yourself. Put your one hand around, and give it a shot.

There is a whole host of very unusual things people do for enjoyment, many of these things boarder on self-mutilation (or are) or allow for self-destructive behavior. The psych doc figures it out.

[debspartner]

i love my lady to scratch me and bite me no matter where it is

[TheSenseMaker33]

Originally Posted by krp_rlw

i completely agree ith everything you just said....my guy is large to....10-12 inches

Thank god someone that finally understands..

damn i just about orgasm from that.. yeah my guys penis he says is 10 1/2 but when I measured it came to 11..and I was just like..thank you jesus for this gift.

lol

it's the best thing ever..woo..I have to say to turn me on size DOES matter..cause i've had guys before with them being "normal sized" theres nothing wrong with a 7 1/2 8 inch penis but nothing feels better when being grinded like that...

woo

wow I wish my guy was home right now i'd go jump him..damn..lol..
i think the sexiest moment i've ever had with him would be when I was gone visiting my family for a month, I get back and he picks me up from the airport and he got me out by his car at the back of the parking lot and the whole time he didn't say anything, i thought he was angry at me for something I didn't know about. We get by his car and he slams me against it starts kissing and grinding against me and he took long enough to open the car door for us to get in and have sexy and when it was over he finally put my bags in the trunk..it was like bellhop and sex service in one.lmao awesome.

lol
<3

[A_bit_new]

Originally Posted by AverageJack

I do it for my girlfriend. She is a lot more horny when she is on her period! id never say no to pleasuring her! There's nothing i like more than to pleasure her.

yea when my girl is on her period she gets maddddd horny it was actually the first time she said "wanna ****?" i turned her down sadly (i found out the week after that their "flow" stops when they are horny and they cant really get pregnant (or so i hear) but next time im gonna "earn my wings" =P then **** her

[neeta]

personaly I like it when my neck is gently bit