Female Masturbation 101

[cool macs]

Is there an easy way to get a girl to touch herself? my gf won't, she won't try toys, and she's really dull in bed... if I can't find a way to bring her out of that idiotic religious closet, I can't go on with her....

Please help!

[Claudia]

I have two suggestions for you.
First, Buy a vibrator. Start out with a simple, not too intimidating one. Then if she'll go for it, blindfold her and start going down on her. When she least suspects it
bring out the vibrator. Once she experiences the sensations seh may just let you carry on.
Second, if she won't go for the above, then leave the vibrator with her and tell her she can experiment with it on her own time and when she feels ready to share the experience with you to let you know.

Her curiosity may get the best of her and like I said, once she experiences the sensations she'll may have different perspective on things.

If none of this works, then be frank with her. Tell her her prudishness is standing in the way of your having an incredible relationship both in and out of the sack. If the relationship means a lot to her, she may be willing to let go of a lot of her inhibitions.

Be patient with her. Many women have been brought up thinking sex is durty. Its hard to let go, of years of negative talk. Tell her if she experiments with pleasing herself, she can then teach you how to please her. Both of you will benefit in the long run.

Hope this helps. Good luck

[FangedFem]

If she is feeling prudish maybe she isnt feeling that confident - religion can really mess up your head *when it comes to sex :smile: Maybe during your foreplay you could guide her hand down with yours - small motions with encouragement like that hopefully will give her some cofidence as well as show her what fun it can be for both of you!

(Edited by FangedFem at 7:28 pm on Nov. 13, 2001)

[Brandye]

OK, here goes. There is a clear relationship between the age of women beginning to masturbate and sexual satisfaction/interest later in life. The earlier we start playing with ourselves, the more interested we are likely to be later. Certainly individuals overcome this, but this is the general pattern.

Religion, old-fashioned sex ed and all that stuff that tells kids (boys and girls) that it is not nice to touch yourself down there delays masturbation - especially in women. In boys it builds up a head of steam and out it comes in a dream. That does not happen to women without some help.

I was raised that way and, even so, started fiddling with myself about the time my period started. Felt good but no great stuff until I accidently had an orgasm. Then it became a weekly event for me and, naturally, I told my best friend about it. We used to masturbate together and 25 years later, still do sometimes.

Bottom line, your girlfriend is up tight about her own sexual feelings and is not likely to loosen up without professional help.

Brandye

[Risky]

Hey I had the same problem with one of my girlfriends, I found that taking her to some kind of sex shop and letting her look at all of the different toys and w/ a little bit of help on the part of a girl working there and me we got her a little interested. And lets just say after a little bit of exploring things went well.

[wobblyman]

One idea is to be in a sex position that allows you to stroke her clitoris while penetrating her such as over the side of a bed and while doing this, get her to place her hand on top of yours. Not only will this allow her to guide you it is likely to be a turn on for both of you.

Aftrer a while of this (which she's bound to enjoy), slowly remove your hand and tell her how much it would turn you on if she continues what you were doing. If you are lucky she will do it.

Good luck.

[Mr Love]

My partner is in the same closet cool macs. If your girl ever comes out tell her to bring mine with her. What is it with that? I'm very close to leaving her and being with someone else. We've had all the talks. Even if she were into this stuff...she would'nt be very good at it.
Its hopeless....i'm going to find someone else.

[SexGoddess]

Awwwwwwww Mr love. i'm sorry to hear about your predicament. =(

good luck on finding that special lady who please you just as much and enjoy it as much as you please her and enjoy doing so *=)

I strongly believe a woman should get to know herself sexually most definately include her man. There's nothing like having a man take my hand and show me how to touch him. it's sexy,erotic and such a turn on.

I realize not a lot of women are "open" to such things and I feel they are being selfish with their bodies and pleasing their partners. it sucks. it really does.

(Edited by SexGoddess at 1:16 pm on June 28, 2002)

[blush]

a couple of things:

i'm guessing she's young. as others have suggested, young chicks have mixed feelings about sex...and chances are there are 2 particular things that are holding her back.
1. she's afraid, even if it's not conscious, that you'll think she's a slut and share that information with all your friends. guys have no idea how much they mess themselves up when they do that. a girl is much more likely to be willing to experiment if she knows it's just between the two of you. and that you respect her sexuality. meaning, let her know that you think whatever it is she does is awesome. don't focus so much on what she won't do. simple things like saying 'i love it when you ______ like that' etc.

2. self-consciousness about how she looks/smells. etc. one of my first lovers was really smart that way. he used to just look at my pussy, and talk about how beautiful it was and how much he loved being able to look and touch etc. when i was comfortable with that, believe me, he got a lot more action than he would have otherwise, i'm sure.

if you love her, be sure to tell her that when she's being her most sexual. all the reluctance is about fear of rejection, after all.

[planetsalign]

I had a girlfriend like that once, she wouldnt masterbate, she wouldnt let me go down, I dont even think shed ever had an orgasm in her life. This was much do to the way her parents spoke of it, and treated the idea of her and I doing anything together. I hope she finally got it figured out as her parents forced us to seperate after they found out we had pre marital sex.:cool: