This is my first post, and any comments are more than appreciated. My boyfriend and I have been together for about four months now, and the last two weeks, His stamina has dropped drastically. We actually had a day that we had sex 8 times in 24 hours and each time lasted no more than a minute. As I said this has been happening for two weeks, and the only thing that has really happened was that we had a bit of a disagreement and I got upset with him, for asking an ex girlfriend to go out for drinks with him. I felt threatened, let him know what I thought of it, in a very kind and understanding way, and we got past it. Unfortunately, his stamina dropped, and has not been improving. I am very understanding with him, and don't try to make him feel bad. I told him I would help him in any way that I could. I have read many of the other posts on this subject, and I have seen some possible techniques, But I'm wondering if it's mostly in his head. I think he gets upset with himself, and I'm not sure how to help him anymore than I already have. Can anyone give me their take on the situation? Or some other advice on how to work through this?
Fri, 01/27/2006 - 16:33
#1
Please give me your opinion...
I meant That he is getting upset with the fact that he is prematurely ejactulating. Thank you for the info, would you mind telling me a bit more about the training exercise? We've read quite a bit about the squeeze technique and we are trying that, but would like to learn of some other options. Once again, I appreciate the information.
alright, what I meant as in stamina was.. the foreplay and sex together has been no more than five minutes(he gets off and it's done). Sex alone, no more than 1 minute. That marathon day, We were making up for two days without sex... The amount of times that day was more than we ever have before in 24 hours. let alone 48 hours. That day was not the beginning of the drop in stamina. We do sleep together at least once a day. And he rests between times,at least 2-4 hours, sometimes more. The number of times is no problem and hadn't been for the three and a half months we were dating before this. (yes, we're rabbits) Anyways, It's not really a problem with me, I get my fun, and so does he, but he's been getting upset with himself about it, and I would like to help him. I'm wondering if his mindset could be contributing to this. I'm trying to be encouraging, and giving him more breaks and doing all I can think of, but I'd like some advice from others.
> the last two weeks, His stamina has dropped drastically.
How do you define "stamina"? I'm not sure what you mean.
> We actually had a day that we had sex 8 times in 24 hours and each time lasted no more than a minute.
Sounds to me like he has great stamina, particularly when many young guys have a down time where they cannot achieve another climax for about 20-30 minutes after climaxing. Considering that most fellas older than 14 cannot cum more than four times in 24 hours, I'd say it is no wonder his stamina dropped drastically. He needs a minimum of 24 and probably more like 72 hours to rejuvinate.
What lasted only a minute? Foreplay leading to his climax? The time the two of you devoted to making love--as in a "Quickie"? What?
> Can anyone give me their take on the situation? Or some other advice on how to work through this?
Please give us some more information or explain the situation in greater detail.
Thank you very much for the additional insight.
It is still unclear to me what you mean by "but he's been getting upset with himself about it, and I would like to help him."
"the foreplay and sex together has been no more than five minutes(he gets off and it's done). Sex alone, no more than 1 minute."
Is this what he is upset about? If so, I would characterize this more as interest and drive than stamina. If the time you spend making love is this short, then what is his rush? This "wham bam, thank you ma'am" approach is not good unless it is a Quickie.
If you mean that he is troubled by climaxing too early as in a minute or less, then this is a condition known as "Premature Ejaculation" and there are a couple of fixes for this. Brandye recommends the Squeeze technique and I favor a training exercise in which you can participate that trains his brain to connect all the proverbial dots between what he feels and how he reacts. In otherwords, learning to associate specific sensations with being able to pause and not loose control; and, to associate when he is about to climax. The trick then becomes trying to move the first benchmark as close to the second/trigger point as reliably possible. If you want more information on either or both of these techniques, just ask.