Hey...I got a big jewish nose. I crumble about it, and just try to keep my head a bit up, especially in the pictures.
And with me and my guy, some do get weirded out if they do not know us. He outweighs me 3 to 1. Has 9 inches on me. I swim in his shirts and can wear them as a dress. But I know he is not with me becuase of my looks. Well...maybe becuase of my hair and my Thanksgiving turkey. But he is with me becuase he loves me. I made damn sure I'm not some trothy or arm candy to him. I took time and it took me time to trust him. And he proved himself to be a good, sweet and patient guy. And any time he would brag about me you know what he would say? He would say that I am sweet, good hearted and a best violinist he've ever heard. Only after saying that would he mention something about my looks, and even that was saying that I got long hair.
You just gotta take time and pick a good guy. Take time and make sure they want you for you. Those who will not spare you a second look are not worth your time anyways. And those who are worth your time, will make you feel beautiful. Plus, you cannot base your self-esteem on how many guys you can hook. You have to work that out for yourself and within yourself first.

OOPS. Sorry

Hey there.... Even the skinny-minies out there get paranoid anxiety when it comes to sex :o I'm one of them & I'm in therapy because although I believe that others find me attractive *I* don't :( My emotionality may or may not be more severe than yours or others, but it's mine & it sucks -- I'd been really working towards some great sex a couple months ago & then all of a sudden I spiraled for the worse: I don't have any advice, but to trust your emotions & to trust the one you love.... If you want to share in sexual intimacy & your partner does too then I wish you the courage to crash through your comfort zone & achieve what you desire! GO FOR IT ;)

Not one woman I have ever known has been totally satisfied with her body - that includes me! We are programmed through advertising, idealizing, etc, to find the problems.

Stand in from of him, do a sexy strip and watch his penis rise. Works wonders on the ego.

WOMEN ARE FAR MORE JUDGMENTAL OF OUR BODIES THAN MEN!!!!!!!

Brandye is right. Knowing you can get your man hard just by him looking at you is a major ego boost.

I was always self concious about my figure. I've been with my husband 10 years. (I'm only 26 btw) I've always been self concious of my body but my husband says he loves it. All I have to do is show him some boob and he gets hard instantly. It's honestly amazing how fast he gets hard. Back in the day a nice wet kiss got him going instantly.

Blackrose,

That is a pic from several years ago - of me.

Now, they are different sizes and at two different levels; they point outwards too much and when I lie on my back they disappear down along my ribcage and one nipple is larger and much more sensitive than the other and I look bony between them! Point made?

I know the feeling. I'm painfully shy and self concious. But in my experience, guys have only said that just to get laid, then after the fact they admit that of course they want to sleep with all the under 100 lb chicks. So I come away only more depressed about myself and self concious. I've just now realized that I'm even more painfully shy and self concious than I ever thought, despite having had sex with more hot guys than anyone would ever believe I could score. I've always been playfully called a horn dog and teased by my girl friend for being "like a man" and having an insatiable sexual appetite and always checking out men. So I have had sex before, lots of it, I've had sex I thought was pretty awesome and in thinking about the best experiences I've had, I honestly can't say if I've ever got off on it or not and I don't know why. Am I really THAT intensely repressed? I guess it could be. I've been in therapy for self esteem issues and my lack of confidence all my life and it hasn't made a bit of difference at all. I mean it is nice to talk about it with professionals but I just don't feel any better about myself even though I take their advice and information to heart and do the things they ask me to do, it still doesn't change how bad I feel about myself. I've never talked about sex in therapy before though. I can't believe I'm talking about it for all the world to see when I can't bring myself to say things like this with a trusted professional. Because I know a lot of idiot guys will respond and say things about how someone like me isn't supposed to have sex, like sex, or want sex. I've been trying to come out of my shell in the past couple of years but I've also felt like there's been a shift in the universe. People seem to have gotten a lot meaner and nastier recently. So in the past couple of years I've only become much more withdrawn instead, even though I've been working very hard to try to get at least *some* self esteem and confidence. And with the increased feelings of isolation and disallowance (of sexual, emotional, or other human feelings and aspects of life), I feel additional shame for possibly having a problem with obsessions. Not many, but for instance, at the moment there is a guy that I think is so unbelievably hot that he could breathe on me from 3 feet away and I'd cream my jeans. Of course he's a celebrity I guess (something I've hated all my life up until a few weeks ago when someone suggested that I should check this guy out because she "knew I'd like him")... So of course I've tried to be reallistic and persue sex in the real world again and I've realised how I probably haven't ever gotten off, even though I've had a pretty fair share of guys I thought were hunks and guys that were good in bed and guys I couldn't get enough of. I know I can't see myself as sexual because of what everyone else thinks, and honestly I agree with the concensus or else there wouldn't be a problem. :(

Well, no men better respond on this forum because it is for us girls. Interesting that you have been in self-esteem counselling a long time and sex has never come up. BRING IT UP. Many women with self-esteem problems try to screw their way out of it. That is, they use sex to prove to themselves that they are desireable or men would not want to screw them. Then they realize many men will screw anybody and they go back down the depths of low esteem. This can be dealt with with a good counsellor.

You do not mention the source of your insecurity or low esteem. Could be a thousand things and a counsellor can help you to identify. Several mentions are made "never getting off." Do you masturbate? Get off then? All this sex with no "getting off" makes one wonder why? Talk to your counsellor.

Let me say this, today is the first day on this site for me and I am SO glad to find women I can talk to. Society has made us the way we are today. If you don't weigh 100 pounds, someone as HOT as Tom Cruise, Michael Jordan, Peyton Manning, would never look at you. We SHOULD have to settle for John, Tom, Dick or Harry. Let me tell you, I would rather have John, Tom, Dick or Harry instead of the HOT guys. My boyfriend to my friends is average, just average to them. But they don't see what I do. I have a very loving and caring guy. He is always there to protect me, he loves me for who I am (baggage and all). We met 15 months ago, in that time, we have dealt with my gpa passing away, myself a new job, us living over 1,000 miles apart and keeping our relationship alive. Now I have moved to him, new job, left my family and friends (with kids blessings), a really bad divorce and now adjusting to us being together always. We even work for the same company but in completely didn't buildings. Has it been easy? NOT AT ALL!!!!! Sure we get frustrated with each other, but the distance we had between each other for 9 months taught us to talk, to trust, to do things that I WOULD NEVER had done before with him on the phone, online, webcam etc....I had to follow my instinct, learned to be comfortable with myself. In that time I lost 85 pounds (still have about 40 to go), but I've lost the weight for myself. Why you ask? Because I DIDN"T LOVE ME, you have to love yourself first before you can allow someone to love you. If your boyfriend or spouse says they love you no matter what you look like, trust them. If they didn't, they wouldn't stay in the relationship.
Learn to keep your relationship alive with new ideas. Toys, phone sex, little notes put in briefcase or lunch sack. Things that he would know that you CAN'T wait till he gets home. In return, he will do those things also, may take him a little longer to do, but he will. Doesn't matter what age you are or how young or old your relationship has been going on.
One other thing, once a month, no matter what, pamper yourself. Be it a massage, or buying that special perfume, or a small shopping spree, do something to make yourself beautiful. We are all beautiful women on the outside, always remember we are ALL BEAUTIFUL on the inside. Some of us just need to learn to trust ourselves to allow others to see that

Forget the "typically" "hot" guys like Tom Cruise (nothing special IMO) - if you're not under 100 lbs you can't get ANY man to look at you! Not even the losers that average John, Tom, Dick and Harry would make fun of. ALL men want perfection. There's millions of men out there whining about how "no one likes them" and "why can't a girl see me for what's inside?" but they COMPLETELY ignore any woman that's even slightly overweight, because they themselves, despite being fat, ugly, dumb looking or something, still only want a super HOT chick. As for the guys I've "dated"... My girl friends never agree with my taste in guys. Nor does society for that matter, because even society says that a guy is supposed to be like 5'8" and 125 lbs and "metrosexual". Society isn't supposed to like my kind of guy either.

Hotsands,

You got some honest and thoughtful replies - especially from cavewoman who seems to have overcome similar issues to yours as originally stated. After this rant, I do not know what you are looking for except a chance to vent. If "ALL men want perfection" most of us would be old-maids; if 100 pounds is the limit, not many healthy women would make the cut.

You have a super-anger towards men, in general, society, as you perceive it, or yourself, as you are living - I do not know which. Help is not available through the internet. But most of us seem to get hooked up (I am single and will likely remain that way - by choice) despite our short-comings and that, alone, refutes your key points.

I'm one of those evil, under 100 pounds girls. I mean I am tiny, I was built that way, I do not diet or have an eating disorder. I have not had many dates either. I have not been promiscuous, by choice. Not that I have had chances to be either. I've only been with 1.5 (since my first cannot be counted as a full one) guys. I am marrying my second guy. Noone has ever told me I'm a perfection. I didn't even have a prom date.
Do I think I'm a perfection? Hell no. I look in the mirror and all I see is imperfections too. My nose is too big, my eyes are different shape, my boobs are too small, my knees are sticking out too much. And then I have to deal with people questioning me whether I have an eating disorder or not.
But I deal with it. I will not go under the knife. I will attempt to work out to put some muscle on my tiny bones. And I just try to look in the mirror and see the things that I do like about myself, like my hair and my waist.
Oh, an the soceity will definatly not agree with the man I'm marrying. He's a big guy, beer belly, macho man to the point that he would rather shave with an axe than use a girly razor and my shaving gel. But I don't care. He is a good guy who will look past my imperfections.
Plus, if you want to hook a guy, you need to have things going for you on the outside, and then guys will look beyond imperfections. A bit overweight gal with confidence and brains, and a right bra can hook more guys than a shallow, super self concious supermodel with air between her ears.

You're strong for not wanting to go under the knife. I'd be afraid to, just because I'm a major wuss about pain, and I've heard plastic surgery is excruciating even with the best doctors. Now, not to be taken personally or anything, but I've always been well, more than irked when I see a big (even fat) guy with a super tiny girl. In my experience, I've learned that overweight men are even worse, and in my experience they think they have something to prove by being with super skinny, tiny women. There's no way a big girl can get a big guy, because big guys are so worried about what other men think of their girl's/wife's looks. That's been my experience. I think though, if I won the lottery, I'd get a gastric bypass, then get extra skin taken off, but as much as I hate my face I wouldn't go through the pain just to have an ugly porn star face. (Well, that's ugly to me anyway.) My nose is pretty awful though. It's just a disgusting little pig nose that slopes WAY too much from the profile despite being only an inch big, if that. I'd rather just magically wake up with a normal human nose. *sigh* If I didn't have an ounce of bodyfat, my profile would still make men puke. *sigh* It's distressing to be this far from perfect. :(

Honey don't think that you wouldn't find the right one just because your big. My brother in law is a small man. 5'5" 175lbs wet. My sister is like me and our mother, Big women. My father was a small man. The most he weighed was 155lbs. Not all men look for the small waisted, big breasted women. My hubby don't even look at women the way most men do. He just thinks that they are people. I don't have that big of a problem with my body. I do want to loose some weight. Right now I am at 280lbs +/-. I don't want to get down less then 200lbs. I like being big. I also have a large bone structure. I look at it this way I am me and nobody can change it but me. Heck the only way I got my husband was because I seduced him. Now I think he stays for my cooking.LOL
The biggest advice anybody can give you is to not only look at the bad things but look at all the good ones. I bet for every con you have about your body you can find 2 or 3 pro's about you yourself. Think about what other people have told you about you. What you look like is just a shell to hold all the beauty that lies beneath.
Like someone has said before, pamper yourself once a month. I do. I spend around fifty dollars on myself a month. I am taking Ultra90's to help me loose inches. Well I have lost 10lbs in 2 months and about 10 inches overall. I know that I will not get into a bikini next summer but that is ok. I just want to feel a little better about myself.
To be honest with you I wouldn't go out with a guy if he wanted me for what I looked like. Them type of relationships don't last.

Well stated, Hotlips. I will not go into my rant about obesity because your points are too important.

[QUOTE=Brandye;152411]Well, no men better respond on this forum because it is for us girls. [/QUOTE]

i am a man and i WILL respond so you just try and stop me :D

honestly i know no woman or feminist is going to believe this but here i go. i can find beauty in anybody, all they have to do is say something nice. a good personality and some sort of sex drive on her part is all i need. lucky for me i got the perfect wife. i honestly dont see ugly people, unless there *******s or gold diggers or teenyboppers (the real dumb plastic nail type *shudders*) a good person to me is beautiful. and frankly people who are shallow enough to believe true beauty comes from a fashion magazine shouldnt be counted as good dating material.

true beauty is in the eyes, the heart, and the mind. everything else is just pretty gift wrapping. seriously ladies stop worrying so much, if we dont like the way you look well most likely will be brutally honest and say so. its not like we dont pay attention.

what is with the bug eye sunglasses girls are wearing right now? its got to be one of the most rediculous fashion statements other than that 60s retro furry snowboots and hat ensomble in fall fashion, yuck! do they wana look like a lost escamo or a blonde housefly? my question to the ladies here is if you feel bad about how you look , do you really wana look like these people? just be yourselves, be your own unique sexy self. just think about it, do you really want how good, sexy, beautiful or wonderful you gals look defined by some group of elite that make money off which products you buy as a result of it?

ok well sorry for the rant there anyways, i really hope this society flaw is fixed. one way is i tell every nice girl i meet that they are pretty and compliment them, no matter how hard they try to deny it. im not hitting on them but someones got to make them feel better about themselves, even if its for 2 minutes or so. compliments and things like that stay with you sometimes for the whole day and it really makes a difference. now imagine how it would be if you got things like that everyday? wouldnt you feel so much better about yourself? law of averages says 1 million men cant be wrong if there telling you your hot. just think about it.

(before the female gender jumps on me over any of my "sexist" steriotypes just remember that i never meant to offend anyone and i take male gender steriotypes with a grain of salt so i hope you all will too.)

im sorry to rant about that. its just that i dont see how anyone thinks looking like a dragonfly is cute or sexy... but anyways.

i think fashion ties into the looks thing.afterall woman seem to be forced to "conform to someone elses airbrushed idea of beauty or your "fat" or ugly* but i figure as long as i compliment the nice ladies maybe it will catch on.
oh yea, its bad internet policy to double post ^^ so try to use the edit button okies? (not trying to be a mod)

ps. i love you baby. your wonderful

khyron's right. From my male point of view, external beauty may be nice but is not necessary, it's internal beauty that counts in the long run.
Here's a quote my sister has up on her door, i figure it's probably appropriate

"The definition of true beauty is like that of a sunset. It is glorious in its brief yet breathtaking moments, but after it fades, there lays something far more beautiful." - Taylor Brooke

I don't think it's true what a lot of the girls said on here about how you have to be under 100 pounds for any average Joe to look at you. I know tons of girls who are pretty average looking, 140 pounds or so, who've had tons of boyfriends. Most girls I know aren't gorgeous, and they have boyfriends.

I'm 5'1" and about 100 pounds. I get hit on a lot, but honestly, I don't pay attention to it. It really annoys me to have people want to go out with me just on the basis of what I look like. And though I'm pretty comfortable with myself, I do have my fair share of insecurities. In the past, I've worn lots of makeup to try to fit that magazine standard of beauty. The time that I most fit into that standard was when I was unhappiest. I felt so much pressure to always fit into that very narrow standard. I didn't feel comfortable leaving the house unless I had blown out my hair, foundation, concealer, eye shadow, brow pencil, eyeliner, mascara, lipliner, lipstick, lipgloss, blush, low cut shirt. It was really debilitating. Now, I'm much more natural. I let my hair dry naturally, I just wear a little mascara and lipgloss. I don't feel like I have to wear low cut shirts and high heels all the time. And I feel so much prettier! When I wore all that makeup, even when I felt pretty it was the makeup, not me. So I couldn't really feel good about myself.

I've also always been insecure about being so petite. I've come to terms with it, but if I could change one thing about myself, I think I'd make myself a little taller. I'd be fine with being 5'2" or 5'3". It's very fashionable in our society to be 5'6" or taller.

I have a long term boyfriend, and he's my best friend and a really great guy, and we really love each other. Being in a secure, loving relationship is the best thing for my self esteem. Being cared about as a person is a lot more important than being lusted after. I know that my boyfriend thinks I'm really beautiful, but he thinks I'm a great person and he loves me and he would be with me no matter what I looked like.

Looks aren't everything. Any guy worth being with will see you for who you are. Plus, there are tons of guys who like bigger girls. Try to be confident, stand tall, and be comfortable with yourself as you are.

150 really isn't that big at all, in my opinion. But I understand where you're coming from. I want to be perfect for my boyfriend, but in the end, I know he loves me, and always will, even when I'm old and withered.

I would kill to be 150lbs. seriously, but I like being kind of pudgey and curvy, the guys i attract seem way less shallow and love me for me even if i gain or lose weight. I hate going on top because I feel so fat, like my stomach is my worse point, I have nice legs I think for my size. I think the worst though, is my boobs are uneven and its very noticable, I am even thinking about surgery to correct this. And its even harder when my mom and two sisters have huge breast and here i am with a B38 (which is because of my wiehgt when I am thinner my breast are nothing) and I hate showing my boobs to guys because of it. I love my body, and I want to remain at a pudgye size probablly a size 11, which i think is perfect for me, but its only the size of my breast that bother me. It even bothers me more that I am the one who is the one to blame for my breast size. Because when I was going through pubirty I was bulmic and scarfing down diet pills, so my body did not grow like it should have. ITs even harder when I know my bf loves big boobs. I dont want them to feel fake but I want to feel good about myself. I plan on exercising more and changing my diet to maintain my weight at a size I am happy at, but atm its so hard to even have sex with my bf because I fear he is so unnattracted to me, that sometimes having sex with him makes me so depressed because he has slept with a lot of girls and pretty much all of them were way tinier then me and a couple were very pretty and had gorgeous boobs.ITs gotten to the point that sometimes I just hide my body, I wear huge jackets and a hood all the time to hide myself because I feel so fat and ugly. I am really thinking about surgery or some sort of pill to help even them out or help them grow, but i dont know if its the right approach

Glenna, if you're boyfriend weren't attracted to you, why would he be having sex with you? EVERYONE feels pressure to be this standard of perfect, but NO ONE is! Trust me, your boyfriend wouldn't be going out with you if he weren't attracted to you and didn't want to have sex with you!

Another thing - don't hide yourself in oversized clothes! It looks so silly when girls do that. Wear clothes that show off what you do like about yourself rather than trying to hide what you don't, and you'll feel so much better!

Hey I have an older boyfriend...and he's had many more woman that I have had men... :D And he's always telling me that I'm sexier than the ones that's he's ever been w/...throwing compliments out everywhere...

At 1st I would sit and analyze everything..is he just saying this to be nice and because he just wants sex?? Etc...etc...etc...then I come to think that if he didn't find me attractive would he still be having sex w/me or not...?? At least I haven't had a bag over my head...which I would find very offensive... :mad:

What I'm trying to say is, you need to be happy w/yourself, before you can accept compliments for others...I know I'm NOT the sexiest goddess that ever walked this planet, but in his eyes I am...so whats the harm? As long as your partner likes your 4get the thoughts of others...you aren't out there to impress anyone...So its like an attitude adjustment...

We all have different types of what we like...so just because someone things I'm HOT...some one can think that I'm NOT! And thats ok... :D For me its an ego meets reality type thing...

Does that make since? Or have I rambled on so...I'm good for that you know.. ;)

SwordSwallower, I think you make a great point here! We need to be happy with ourselves before we can be OK with our partners, and we need to love ourselves before we can love others and accept the love of others. Being able to develop that confidence is absolutely crucial. Once we can be OK with ourselves, no one else's opinion matters, but when they do say something favorable, that's just an added boon.

I am very happy with my personality and I love being pudgy like I am, I just have anxiety issues that really make me feel uber senstaive to selfcritisism. And I know that he wouldn't be with be if I wasn't attractive to him because thats what got us together in the first place. But its hard because since he works all the time he doesn't have much of a sex drive. I am his first serious girlfriend on top of it so he doesnt know how to be really romantic and he doesn't know how to compliment me when he thinks I look nice. So its hard when he doesn't compliment me and we don't have sex. And I don't want to empress everyone, but those random eyeing looks from strangers really are a big uplift at times. I am trying not to cover up as much but it's hard when it's so cold. There is only one thing I want to change about me that I can't do with diet, and thats making my boobs even. I want to remain pudgey and keep a steady weight for myself, I think women with curves are way more attractive then these really skinny girls. I just want to come out of my shell and feel more comfortable with people looking at me.

I have this problem as well. My boyfriend and I have been together for over a year, and we're in highschool, so it's really hard to deal with all of these good looking skinny girls marching around and showing it off. I feel for you, and I know it's not easy, I'm still not comfortable showing myself to him; always with the lights off and always under a blanket when we do anything...I'm so embarrassed, but what of? I mean, shouldn't I be comfortable with him by now? I guess it takes a while...a while longer.

Black rose red - for one thing, I think you're gorgeous! Personally, I think faces are WAY more important than bodies, and I think you have a really beautiful face.

I also completely know what you mean about girls with ugly faces and "hot" bodies. I was always really boggled by the girls that people have found attractive. Like, Jennifer Aniston. She has a nice body, but I don't think her face is pretty at all. Or, she was pretty when she was younger, but I don't think she's pretty now and she still gets voted in the 100 most beautiful people. Now, I don't mean to sound like a snob or anything by this, I just mean that I see girls every day who I, personally, find more attractive than a lot of celebrities. A nice body and an average face doesn't equate beauty, but it does sell. And in high school, that seems to be what the jocks want, but honestly, I don't think jocks are attractive either.

I think facial beauty is way more compelling than a nice body. Also, locker rooms are uncomfortable for EVERYONE! I am thin and such, but when I had to change in a locker room for freshman PE, I got SO nervous. There were these "hot" girls around me, and they made me nervous, even looking back they were proabably equally nervous about me.