my personal belief is that anything you cannot comfortably tell your significant other about should not be done.

so if you feel comfortable going up to your S/O, and saying something like "guess what? i had phone sex with so-and-so" then you would be fine.
if you feel ashamed about it, or feel that you have to hide it, then you might want to rethink what you are doing.

It reminds me of an interactive way to get off using a style of porn (vocal rather then video) to me. If it distracts from the household dollars substantially or is a habit, I would re-think it. Other then that it's child's play, imaginary, and you are not married to this person; so there is no real issue of cheating.

Too damn expensive! But it isn't cheating.

[quote=EvilEvilKitten;193176]Too damn expensive! But it isn't cheating.[/quote]

And to boot; what makes anyone think they are talking to some gorgeous svelte woman?

Cheating is in the attitude or mindset. If he is doing it wishing it was the other women, then he has his mind somewhere else. Is there a reason why he feels like he needs to do this? That may be the more important question. I know that when I've been in a relationship, I sometimes have to get off, but seeking the help of someone or something else is another story.

No cheating is not in the mindset - like anyone can read minds - please!
If you are NOT married, it is NOT cheating. This is just pornography in another form. A damn expensive form but tis just fantasy.

Phone sex is much like porn; it's child's play. You share household expenses; he is entitled to spend his portion of disposable income as he wishes. Phone sex married or not is not cheating...it's fantasy land at a cost (expense). And residing together IS NOT the same as being married...something about that piece of paper changes the world!

Athena, sweetheart, if he can WALK after having sex - then there's something wrong. "Get your girl on" and EXHAUST the man next time and forget worrying about phone sex, etc. You know you can do it!

Athena:
Many get into a mindset of "cheating" and what it entails. It gets stretched to the point if someone speaks to another; they are cheating. You are committed to him, great! As evil said knock his socks off! But don't sweat the smaller stuff, it's what you have together in the long run that matters! If he is a good to you, married or not, who cares; you probably have more then most who are married have as far as love & stability.

To me cheating is being lawfully wed to someone and going behind their back, having an affair (engaging in a sexual relationship) with the intent to deceive the other, with someone other then the spouse.

But if you love him, take him quirks and all! Trust me, they could be worse! :)

Phone sex with a "professional"/paid thing? No thats not cheating I suppose...but then you could claim its not cheating if he hired a hooker. Its personal perspective. It's definitely cheating to me if it is with a personal acquaintance, and I would be damn pissed if my partner called a sex line without asking me first.

What? Permission? Note from my mother?

Whores are all business - clock-watching, pay-up-and-get-out sex. "Love you long time, baby. Let me out here."

Oh joy!

Well yes, if you're in a casual relationship. What I meant was I wouldn't want him going behind my back. Same thing with porn, I don't care in the slightest if he watches it, hell sometimes I do. Just don't want him to cover it up/hide it. Like someone said, don't do anything you're ashamed/embarrassed to tell your S.O. Like for example, say he's watching porn on the computer; I come in, and he turns it off right away. I'd be pissed and suspicious because it means he's hiding something. See what I meant? :)

Is he hiding or is he trying to preserve your sensibilities or his? Some men are 'gun-shy' about it due to being smacked upside the head by women who do not care for it.

[QUOTE=EvilEvilKitten;193506]Is he hiding or is he trying to preserve your sensibilities or his? Some men are 'gun-shy' about it due to being smacked upside the head by women who do not care for it.[/QUOTE]

This isn't even an issue for us and never would be; if he wants to watch porn we watch together :D.

I believe in no way is it cheating UNLESS a person lies about it if simply asked about it. I think it's that way with a lot of other things, cheating to me isn't ONLY sexual acts, but being untrustworthy when confronted, rather it be the other is ok with it or not.

For some men, just being asked about it is 'confrontation' enough to set off a defensive reaction.

Frankly, I'd be more worried about the phone bill. Hopefully he is NOT having phone sex while using his cell phone!!You know what those people charge!

There are much more important things to worry about in any relationship.
I believe all of the nonsense spouted by 'porn-haters' is just a cover for their real worries. Deal with your real issues and stop wasting time.

I'll agree with that, and women can be just as defensive when confronted on certain topics.

True enough, Yariome.

Whoa, she agrees with me for once! Hah, usually when I tend to say women can be the same in certain situations you don't agree. Well I appreciate it.

Don't faint!
Women just get defensive about different things, generally speaking, than men do.

Yes, especially when men ask why we needed that 100th pair of black heels!

haha, I know just giving ya hard time EEK cause ya tend to argue over my points in that sense. Which I can respect a woman's opinion.

And yeah... I was so happy when I first met my girlfriend and found out she only has 2 pairs of shoes... Until I found her closet and found out she has a similiar obsession, but of shirts...

Yariome - have you looked in your garage lately? Or how about those video games, hmmm? Why does anyone need a left handed torque wrench that does inch/pounds?? Don't ask me but my husband has one!

People actually still have phone sex? I figured with all the other technologies available today that 1-900-XXX-XXXX was a thing of the past. Then again, cell phones do offer even greater privacy.

It may not be cheating, but is it a gateway drug...

That was weak, machine rat. "gateway drug" PFFFT. Too damn expensive but otherwise no big deal.

EEK, I'm not saying that it's an inherently big deal either.

What I mean is that it can spell/dial trouble for couples that don't know how to seperate sexual pleasure and love.

It's just if it is a frustrated caller, this could be a step in the 'one-thing-led-to-another' scenario.

The fault in that case would lie with him, not with the phone sex itself.