[QUOTE=Quote (demonbuttercup @ Sep. 21 2003,18:51)]some guys on here have suggested to last longer is while you are masturbating...get almost to the point of no return..then STOP!
wait a few minutes then start up again. keep doing this for awhile. they say this helps prolong erections during sex.[/QUOTE]
So true.. i started doing it a few months ago.. now i last like 10 minutes more while im with a girl...it really helps a lot

Your email response giving your age and a few more facts certainly governs my response. I think it worth posting here where others in a similar situation can read it. At 45, you are not over the hill but your sexual drive and response are on the decline. I am neither a urologist nor a male but can respond professionally and personally, perhaps giving you some insights.

Assuming that physical problems have been ruled out (and I recommend you see a urologist for a thorough exam including sperm count, psa, prostate check and testosterone level), your penis is telling you something. Men become more "selective" as they age and also require a bit more warming up. If, in your mind, she is not warming you up, it will not work. Each time it does not work, the likelihood of that happening again increases. I suspect that she is not a completely satisfactory sex partner and, at some level, you know that. There is something you want that you do not expect her to do and you are primed for failure. Rather classic. Men do not come to a female physician with their sex problems but their wives do. I have heard this story many times.

It is time for a good chat. If that is not possible, move on because this is a downward spiral from which you will not spontaneously recover. At its worst, it will have caused enough anxiety on your part that you will not be able to function with others as well.

That is professional advice; now some personal. As a bisexual with a female partner I have limited male "contact." One colleague from a different clinic I see a few times a year is several years older than you and old enough to be my father although my actual father was much older. He works as a physician and his primary outside activity in a very small town is caring for his semi-invalid wife who had a stroke ten years ago. He has sought companionship but cannot function at home, even with a woman with whom he had an affair about fifteen years ago. Everyone in town is known to everyone else, Many are her friends and many are his patients. A woman who helps out caring for his wife has made herself very available but it just does not work.

His only sexual outlet is the perhaps twice a year we meet at a professional meeting at our regional hospital. We make a weekend of it at a lovely small hotel. He is not a twenty year old in bed but he certainly does well enough for a short weekend. I follow his lead and have few inhibitions. He pays for everything though I suspect I am a bit better off than he. He is the man. While not subservient, I do whatever he needs and we have a lovely time. Although I get what I need in me, he particularly enjoys creative handjobs and, naturally, oral. His technique is certainly fine and would be found satisfactory by most women his age. I certainly am satisfied; he more than seems to be and there are no strings attached to anything. He can tell me about his wife, his sexual frustrations or whatever he wants and he is confident that I will never leave him high and dry. Perhaps, the ideal for his position and certainly indicative for many men. Perhaps, the reason for many mid-life affairs. Too bad you cannot simply say what you want without being put down.

How about some facts: age, experience, happen with other women?

Your answer cannot be answered as asked.

well its obvious your trouble is emotional not physical.
you are more than likely just nervous about performing and its leaving you soft.
and the way she is acting isn't helping one bit. it just puts more pressure on you to perform. she needs to be more understanding and not make you feel inadequate.

some guys on here have suggested to last longer is while you are masturbating...get almost to the point of no return..then STOP!
wait a few minutes then start up again. keep doing this for awhile. they say this helps prolong erections during sex.
just have a talk w/ your girl and tell her that she's not helping your feelings or your penis.