i wouldn't just assume that she knows what she was doing. maybe she was horrible with all the guys. not to mention, that if you tell her something hurts, and she keeps doing it...? every think that maybe she kept doing it because she doesn't know what else to do? maybe you should be more specific with what you like and don't. or try it with someone else (if that's an option) and see if it feels any better.

> well i also dont masturbate..so i dont know what i would like to begin with. i just hope she does.

You cannot just hope that someone knows what to do. Experience equates to knowledge not skill. Every time a couple comes together for the first time a new and unique pairing is established with its own set of dynamics, personal preferences, likes, dislikes, quirks, etc.

Why don't you masturbate?

> i think my lack of masturbation contributes to the over sensitivity!

WRONG. Your sensitivity is natural and is because the nerves in the head of the penis are and have been protected from the elements and not permitted to be desensitized from a lifetime of contact with clothing, skin, and the elements.

You need to learn to masturbate and to be able to climax regularly and consistently. Only then can will you know what to expect and how to achieve it. Each of us is responsible for our own orgasms. We do not give them away. All any of us can hope for is to help our partner achieve theirs. If you can masturbate and for whatever reason simply choose not to, or, when you do learn, you need to teach your partner how to mimic your movements, rhythms, and pressures by taking her hand in yours and guiding her movements over several sessions until she learns what has become second nature to you. Soon after learning to masturbate we quickly establish a technique that is unique and specific to each of us. So, while we all may understand the basic mechanics involved in stoking a penis and fingering a clitoris, it is this "Fine Art" that must be learned. As noted, above, just because one or both partners has prior experience is no guarantee of success with the next person in line for the reasons stated. Work as a partership, explore, learn together.

> each night we spent around 2h fooling around and at no point did i cum. so i guess im a long laster?

Answered.

Until the two of you learn specifically what to do to bring about each other's climax, the best you can hope for is a 50/50 chance of being right. With something so important, who wants this as their batting average. So, my point is, experience is useful but not all that reliable or important.

P.S.
Regarding masturbation, leave the foreskin forward for now. Try stroking using these two methods and see which works best, when.

1. Grasp the shaft between the thumb and first one/two fingers, squeeze down comfortably albeit considerably and run your hand up and down taking the skin with you.

2. Lubricate the shaft and your fingers and lightly graze the skin of the shaft leaving it in place. You may find that you really do not have to involve the Glans, although if you decide to, rub it through the foreskin.

The foreskin has a lot of sensitive nerve endings as does the Glans so you can stroke it tightly or very softly using lube. The sensations are very different and both work well. It's all about what you like and when.

Learn where your hotspots are. The A#1 spot is the Frenulum. One or more others are distributed about the Corona Rim. You can rub these through the foreskin and get quite a boost. Try rubbing the Frenulum directly if you can. If not, then do with it what you can.

Please answer my two questions about why you do not masturbate and then whether or not you have learned. Nearly every boy makes the transition from being preorgasmic to orgasmic immediately out of puberty. If you have not, then you need to play catch up and fast.

Thank you very much for the feedback.

I suggest you devote some time to this endevor before getting out of bed in the morning, and if not exhausted at night, before going to sleep. You really do need to play catch-up. It is also my recommendation that you use a lubricant as it makes the process easier and less "work".
* Astroglide is available off the shelf in pharmacies and supermarket drug departments. It is my favorite, although other products like K-Y are found side-by-side on the shelf.

* You can use hand lotion
* Salad/cooking oil also works.

You might also want to see a doctor and have your hormone levels checked. If your sex drive is that low, it seems to me that all is not as it ought to be.

Do you have occasional wet dreams?

Please understand that everyone, male and female must learn to "connect the dots" so to speak, by establishing the pathways between the nerves endings and pleasure center in the brain via the autonomic nervous system. Until we do this, orgasms are not likely to happen. Being able to climax is not an innate given. While we are born with all the proverbial telephone poles in place, we need to string the electrical wires between them by from point of origin to the destination (genitals to brain). As mentioned, this is a process that must be learned and it takes practice and initial repetition.

Hi doc,

I'm new here and I seem to have the same problem as Xack : I never feel the need to masturbate and even when I try to, I don't get any pleasure out of it.

I have wet dreams, and sometimes ejaculate at night (always kind of embarassing). I don't get turned on by porn that much, except for erotic texts (something with the imagination maybe).
I am, just as Xack, uncut, and get bored after something like eight minutes of stroking (also my wrist hurts =) ). I have never brought myself to climax and it's starting to become a real problem now that I'm in a relationship.

Thank you in advance for your advice,

Damas

See my post in the foreskin thread started by southern UK. I suspect a similar issue.