Hello everyone, go easy on me as this is my first post. I found this site a while ago, but only just decided to sign up to the forum.
Well where to start, i've been with my girlfriend 13 months now (was just turning 19 when we got together). When we met i was virgin, but she had been with other people before me. I always seemed to climax quite fast, but we always put this down to me being inexperienced, and she said it didn't bother her.
Anyway, as time went on, it didn't get better and it started to get to me more and more, but she re-assured me that it was ok as i satisfied her in other ways. Well anyway, over the last few weeks it has been putting a strain on the both of us, and is really starting to get me down, to the point where i don't really enjoy sex, and it frustrates her no end. She is very understanding when it comes to the subject and knows that it's not my fault and we never argue over it.
Anywho, normally i can only last a few minutes inside of her if i'm lucky, but on a few random times (2 days in a row) i was able to kind of control and go for a good 15-20mins. Now i have read alot of stuff on the net about P.E. sufferers not being able to sense 'the point of no return', but i feel this is not the case with me, as i can tell when it is, but i cannot seem to do anything about it. I'm not sure if this is relavent, but whenever she give's me oral sex or similar i don't P.E., i can last what i see as the 'normal' amount of time.
So to the end of this rant, i am just wondering what other people possibly in the same situation as me would suggest to me. I have mentioned the idea of going to see a doctor about the low dosage anti-deps, but she didn't like the idea of that.
Thanks,
Beanz
Hello Beanz, welcome to the SI101 Board and its Forums. I hope you enjoy participating. Please begin by reading the FAQs, Posting Guidelines, AND, the Index, all located at the top of the main screen. The Index lists many articles on a variety of topics including how to deal with and control PE. You can also find many discussion by doing a site search.
Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controlling Premature Ejaculation
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It's more common than you might imagine. I'm 31 been with other women, but for some reason after 2+ years with my wife I still can't last very long. The first thing I would say to you is don't get down on yourself, it only makes it worse.
I'm not really in a position to tell you what to do, but I'm pretty sure I know what not to do! This is a good place to start, I'm not where I want to be but what I've read here is already helping me. Not to mention people are supportive. Best of luck to you!
Yeah and and I agree with Mattc... also it's really a normal part of being a man to be honest. If you it accept first and expect the next time you have sex to not last very long, believe it or not that mentally helps you a bit...cos you have to deal with the fact that it's a normal part of you.
To go on anti-depressants because you cum too soon is a bit extreme... just learn to enjoy cumming full stop and then concentrate on helping your girlfriend. Things will get better naturally but you gotta just drop the worrying and thinking of it completely and accept it's just gonna happen perhaps every 4 out of 5 times...
Like me, when I have sex with my girlfriend my erections are still hit and miss and I even cum whilst only having a semi !! but I developed the so what attitude and accepted everytime we go to have sex it will just be whatever lol... sometimes I can go for 40 minutes, sometimes 10 minutes, sometimes I just lose my erection right before sex.
It's just the way it is and well it's not like you can't have sex and not like you aint getting any... enjoy what you do get and make the most out of it.
Your pretty normal really, and i'm sure it can be fustrating and at first my man was like that to but now what he found that helps stop it/prolong it is he stops moving and tries to think of something else completely non sexual.
yea true yew'll get experienced wiv time n figure out ways yaself .
So juss try n relax n enjoy the moments :)
I used to have that same problem myself. When I was younger I would ejaculate before taking care of business. Later found that it wasn't the smartest thing to do, I now use foreplay as a big tool. Whom ever I'm with enjoys it so much that when they are ready to (climax) they will tell or YELL at you to put it in. : ) This way you know you've taken care of her first.
And don't worry you too will get aroused as your foreplaying. Between the moaning & the facials reactions of your mate!
if other techniques aren't working, you can take SSRIs which are antidepressants. Paxil is supposed to be the best for this in terms of prolonging ejaculation.
About the point of no return, it's called that because once you reach it you can't return, that's why its uncontrollable. The techniques are all meant to stop you from getting there by varying speed, getting her to tighten super early so you don't get that accelerated tightness as you go (actually feels a bit looser as you go which makes it easier), or you can spray some stud 100 on your penis head to desensitize you.
If popping pills is a bit hard for you try drinking 3-5 glasses of red wine (not sure why but I have noticed this extends sex for me ridiculously to the point where its no longer enjoyable for her... beer seems to not do the same thing (might last longer but I'm not so disjointed from my body even if I drank a ton). And wine seems to last in the morning as well.
Also Durex makes a condom that you can buy at WalMart called Performax. The inside (make sure you put it on the right way) has something called Benzocaine which desensitizes your penis head.
The mental technique most guys use is to think of something highly technical when you are feeling like your erection is getting too hard/you're getting too into it (basically when its starting to feel really really good). Then when you feel like you might be dropping off you jump your erection a bit (pc muscles) and go at it again, and you keep this equilibrium as long as you want.
An example of something to imagine is throwing a football so imagine your hands are actually holding a football and you're throwing it. Or playing soccer. Or tying your shoelaces.
You could try the desentisizing creams...google EMLA at westcoastskin. This cream will make your penis kind of numb but it does block your urge to cum.