I have had PE before in my relationships, but not this bad. It has gradually gotten worst since I have been having sex and stopped masturbation. My first time was about 2-3 years ago and it took me for ever to get off, at least a half hour or more. As I started having sex more, that time seemed to literally cut in half from 30 mins to about 15, then 10, ect.. til it was stable at around 8-15 mins or so. After that girl, I didn't date anyone for over a year and didn't masturbate much, but the next time I did it was sort of the same - steady no PE. With this new girl I have been with for a little more then 2 years, we started off having sex a lot, it was long and fun. As the years went on I started going a lot faster then I usually did. Now for the past 8 months, we barelly have sex, I still don't masturbate, but everytime I'm cuddling with her or just around her, kissing her hello or goodbye, I get extremely horny and always get erect. So much to the point to where the inside of my boxers starts getting gooey from the PE sperm like leaking out. When we do have sex i go nearly immediately after I penetrate her vagina. I have been looking up sex tips and techniques to try and control my climaxes and mind, but it seems like more and more now I go faster. I feel bad because we start going good, and shes moaning and what not, but then I have to stop right before she gets her first orgasm because I don't want to go yet. I want to pleasure her and give multiple orgasms like I have done before.
Our relationship has been kind of bad lately, lots of issues, some to the point to where we were going to break up.
My question is why all of a sudden am I so horny around her all the time. Is it because i want her so badly, but she doesn't give it to me and I just want it more? When she does give it to me if I get that horny, we do some prehand foreplay and I like to get her as horny as me, maybe even an orgasm or two before we start because I don't wanna cut sex short because of my P.E.. Maybe I'm too worried about pleasing her or thinking about what she thinks of all this so I can't control myself anymore?
For example, just yesterday I finally got some from her and she played around on me for a little bit, but as soon as she put it in herself, i wanted to go right away. So she stopped, gave me a few seconds, then she started again and I couldn't control myself and I just went. I didn't tell her I did so we kept having sex, she was enjoying it, then we swapped positions and ect... Shes on birth control so its not so bad if I go right away, because I stay erect some after I go, but I would like to get off after AT LEAST 10 mins and after she has an orgasm or two. We have even thought of things like Cock-Rings to see if it would help me, but still haven't bought anything.
Anyone have any ideas on whats going on with me or anything to help out?
Perhaps your mind is sending signals to your brain about what has been going on in the relationship? You posted not long ago about her being connected to a guy on-line. If this has been an issue through out life and you are what early 20s? Consult a MD.
Also look for the thread on controlling premature ejaculation & read it:
http://www.sexinfo101.com/forum/sexual-health-men/19797-squeeze-training...
This is easy!
YOU'RE AFRAID OF LOSING HER!
So your increased desire for her and you're being 'fast' is your subconcious attempt to make her 'yours', i.e. pregnant, thus putting her into a position where she CAN'T leave you.
Think back and see if your prematurity in your previous relationships didn't stem from exactly this same masculine desire to retain the female in question.
The same thing happens when a man suspects/knows that he has a rival for her affections.
It is the 'animal' in you.
So you think that since I'm afraid of losing her, it's making me cum fast as hell? And as for me being horny like every second I'm with her? Thats interesting. I'd love to read up on this to figure out the psychological mechanics to this. If you could link me into the right direction that would be neat :)
Any other comments or tips?
Lets see you have been sex deprived, so now you are horny. Seems logical to me. You don't get yourself off anymore, so you are ready to burst as soon as she gets you hard. Again seems logical to me. Plus you are so convinced that you need to please her, you are trying so hard to please her, you are making yourself cum to fast. You need to dump this chick and move on with your life. Maybe you should go whack off, just so you know that you can still have an ejaculation without her. Me and my GF have gone as long as 6 weeks between sessions, cuz of the long distance thing, and I can be just fine without it. You can be too. Also, when we do get together, it can be a lil fast if I have not masturbated. And one other thing, when we do get together, it can make us more horny the first couple times that we do have sex.
Premature Ejaculation happens mostly to younger men and teens yet can manifest itself temporarily any time to all of us.
Here is a link for a discussion on two techniques for controlling it that work well.
Squeeze & Training Exercise for Controlling Premature Ejaculation
Other things to do are:
* Pausing the action until the sense of urgency subsides
* Masturbating an hour or so beforehand.
Learn how to keep a part of your conscious mind aware of your feelings in order to be able to make the needed decision to pause or squeeze. All too often we guys give in to our desires and say "oh heck" and the orgasm follows when we really do not want it to. It becomes a tussle over our body's desire and our conscious wish to prolong the pleasure. It quite literally becomes mind over matter and learning how to control the stimulation.