I don't know if anyone can help me or has any ideas on this...
Since I've lost my viginity I've attempted to have sex four or so times, but have always had to stop because it hurt too much. I thought pain was just meant to be a first time thing but now I'm not so sure it is with me. I've never bled during sex but I have been fingered and if it's gentle, it isn't painful and feels great (although sometimes it has hurt).
I'm in a long distance relationship and I've heard that the vagina can sort of return to its original size if you don't have sex for a while. I also know that some people have thicker hymens than others and I think this might be the case for me.
This is getting me down because I really want to finish having sex without it hurting! Not sure if its just me being silly as for some people it takes more than first time sex for it to become comfortable, but I have a feeling that thats not the case with me.
Any advice is great appreciated. Thanks
Are you really wet when he starts to penetrate? If so...it could be one of those reasons you mentioned, and you should just go and see a gynecologist, they'll work it out. If you're not very wet, try some lube or longer foreplay. He should make you so dripping wet that he just slides in with no friction or excess pushing.
Yeah you do get "tighter" if you don't have sex for a while, but your hymen doesn't grow back so unless he's HUGE I doubt it would cause so much problems.
Another thing Brandye and I think sera always say is that if you're using condoms, on a microscopic level they're very abrasive and I know personally they suck up the moisture and make me so dry...so that might be an issue, try polyurethane with lots of lube it might help.
There are a few other people on here with your problem, and I don't think it was ever resolved...maybe they can throw in their 5 cents.
Bottom line, you should go see a gyne and have your first PAP if you've never had one.
When a person looses their virginity from the hymen being torn, then there is an open wound that will take some time to heal. If you are having intercourse several times during this healing period it is possible to rub the scab or irritate the remaining membrane. If your hymen was opened beforehand as a result of using Tampons, or, participating in sports and exercising, then the irritation is probably due to stretching the vaginal opening more than it is used to from just fingering.
If sufficient time has elapsed for the hymen to heal, this is still likely the case. My recommendation is to stretch the opening in order to make it more compliant. You can do this by taking daily baths. Fill the bathtub with warm water (no soap or bubble bath) and sit in it for fifteen to twenty minutes. The water will help soften the skin. Begin by inserting a finger into the opening and tugging or pulling in one direction and holding it for for a few moments. Then, move on to the next quadrant and repeat as you work your way around the circle. Repeat a couple of times and then do the same thing the next day. Over the course of several days you should be able to insert two fingers. Do the same exercise only using your fingers in opposition. After a couple of weeks, depending upon how often you do the exercise, you should be able to insert a small diameter cucumber or even a banana comfortably.
The opening will go back to normal size yet be easier to expand than it is now.
It's completely natural that it may be painful after the first few times, just make sure that you have enough foreplay to really get those juices flowing! :)
LUBE is your friend. Use it, and plenty of it, you'll be amazed.
Especially if it's an LDR and there are long gaps between attempts.
I have had plenty of sex, but being pretty petite, it hurts again at first if I go without for a couple of weeks or more.
Get with your gyn, girl! If all is well, then consider the skill level of your partner. Make sure your blood is roaring before penetration unsues and use lots of lubricant. Let him rest up and then enjoy him again. The more you have sex, assuming it is great sex, the more you'll enjoy it,